I received an email last week from a woman who was really upset.
She’s a devoted wife and Mom of two kids under the age of four. On all accounts, her family is doing well, yet she was really down on herself and her lack of “control” when it came to how she spends her time.
She shared a few of the many important things she needs to do on a weekly basis and explained how it’s a real struggle to find BALANCE with her time and energy.
I recorded a short video to take on the issue of “being balanced” and what you should actually focus on:
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If you prefer to read, here’s a transcript:
“Hey guys, Dustin Riechmann from Engaged Marriage here.
I want to spend a few minutes talking about a really important topic that I’m sure you can relate to.
It’s about this idea of BALANCE. Sometimes it’s called work-life balance, or personal-family balance. We’re told we need BALANCE in our lives to be happy…
…but I’m here to tell you that it’s a LIE.
Happy families do not have balance. They have BOUNDARIES. Let me explain.
In the lives we live today as busy Family Leaders, no two days are typically the same and no two weeks are definitely the same. Between the demands of trying to share quality time with our spouse, raise our kids, work, attend any number of evening activities, exercise, take care of the house, contribute to our community, hang out with our friends, enjoy hobbies…well you get the idea.
If you tried to maintain balance between all your responsibilities, you’d not only go crazy, you’d fail. But the good news is it’s really not important.
At this stage in your life, don’t worry about this myth of balance. Instead, set healthy boundaries, stick to them as much as possible and you’ll enjoy an awesome family life.
By boundaries, I mean you set both space but especially time boundaries. You have work time, spouse time, kid time and so forth. These are planned ahead and agreed upon with your family.
This may seem subtle, but it’s incredibly freeing and really powerful. Spouse time is not work time, so you can put your phone away and actually have a focused conversation with your husband or wife. Kid time is not chore time (at least not always), so you can play with dolls now, fully present, and take care of paying bills later.
Multi-tasking doesn’t work and it cheats both you and your loved ones.
You may think you don’t have time to use boundaries in your busy life. The truth is you don’t have time NOT to, and you’re wasting so many wonderful opportunities right now if you’re trying to be balanced.
I have much more to share with you about setting great boundaries and using your time for what matters most.
If this is something that interests you, please enter your email below to learn more about a new program and FREE tools I’m sharing to help Family Leaders get control of their schedule and focus on what matters most. It’s called Time to THRIVE, and I know you’ll love it. I’ll see you there!”
How Do You Handle Balance vs. Boundaries?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. Please share your experiences with finding “balance” and whether you’ve instead tried to set up boundaries with your time. How has each worked for you and your family?