Category Archives for "Time Management"

3 Easy Tips for Finding Time to Date Your Spouse

By Dustin | Time Management

You know a regular date night with your husband or wife is not only a great time, but it’s really key to enjoying a healthy relationship, right?

Well then, when was the last time you actually got away together for a few hours to enjoy some romance?

I’m not talking about dinner out with the kids, and it doesn’t count if you were with a group of friends either.

While both of those are excellent ways to spend an evening, you really need some quality time alone to focus on each other.

We Don’t Have Time

If you are anything like us, I bet the constraint that’s holding you back more than anything else is a lack of time.

We’re all so damn busy that it’s easy to jump from urgent task to urgent task, only to look up two months later and realize we haven’t had a single night out with our spouse.

Of course, some of this comes from being our own worst enemies and failing to manage our priorities properly.  Sometimes, we even waste a lot of time on frivolous things like watching television or playing games on our phones.

However, in most cases, I think our time constraints are legit.

I hear from so many in our community, and I know you are  hard workers with families that are hustling to make things happen, sometimes at the expense of your own time and intimacy.

But We Can Still Make It Happen

I have to admit that Bethany and I were struggling in this area again recently, so we made a plan to make sure we were making our date nights happen.

I want to share a few tips that we’ve learned in the hopes that it helps you find the time for some all-important romance in your marriage.

1. Schedule It

You should have a regular date time, and it must be on your calendars.  If you treat your dates as optional or “schedule” them after all of the “important” things are taken care, you will never have dates!

Seriously, your date time should be a high-priority appointment that is scheduled well in advance and doesn’t get trumped for anything short of an emergency.

If you value your marriage, realize that you NEED this time together.  Seriously.

2. Look Outside the Obvious

Our weekends are really busy, and our babysitter often has other commitments on Friday and Saturday evenings.

Our solution: we have date nights scheduled for every other Tuesday night.  It’s a set time that is much less likely to get interrupted.

Along these lines, you should look at some less conventional ways to spend alone time together that will work with your busy schedule:

• Date during the day
• Enjoy an at-home date night
• Date in the morning with a standing coffee date
• Work out together to combine fitness with recreational intimacy
• Make another “required” event a great date.  For example, we were gone last weekend presenting at a marriage retreat.  And we used this time away from home to enjoy each other and found alone time amidst our other responsibilities.

3. Budget It

You better have a financial budget! When you do, it’s really helpful to include some money for dates as part of your budget.

This not only takes some of the financial pressure off, but it makes it an “official” household activity that you are planning for and taking seriously.

We’ve found that having a date night budget item to cover babysitting, entertainment and meals is really helpful in keeping our time out consistent and enjoyable.

If your budget won’t allow these expenses, you can simply plan for a less costly alternative (see at-home date nights above).

I hope these tips make it easier for you to find time for your spouse.  There’s really no better investment in your marriage than quality time spent together.

Your spouse is the love of your life. Sometimes, it takes a date to remind us of this fact. 

Do This to Instantly Be Happier (it may shock your spouse)

By Dustin | Time Management

If you ever find yourself feeling stressed out or even overwhelmed by all the things you have to do, you’re going to love this post.

I’m going to share with you one of the BEST and EASIEST things you can do to bring more happiness to your home.

Check it out and then share it with your spouse today so you can take action together.

It could change your life.

How’s That Balanced Approach Workin’ for Ya?

I’m sure you’re familiar with the idea of “work-life” balance or other similar terms.

You’ve probably heard some “expert” on Oprah or Dr. Phil telling a young husband or wife that they need better balance.  You’ve gotta get things in check and be balanced in all areas of your life, right?

WRONG.

In the lives we live today, no two days are typically the same and no two weeks are ever the same.

Between the demands of trying to share quality time with our spouse, raise our kids, work, attend any number of evening activities, exercise, take care of the house, contribute to our community, hang out with our friends, enjoy hobbies…well you get the idea.

If you tried to maintain balance between all of your responsibilities, you’d not only go crazy, you’d fail.  If you’re like me, you’ve probably tried it and then beat yourself up for not being able to pull it off.

Forget Balance – Do This Instead

The good news is that balancing your time is not important.  In fact, it’s probably harmfully unrealistic and stressful.

Happy families do not have balance. They have BOUNDARIES. (click here to tweet this out)

Let me explain.

At this stage in your life, you should forget about trying to keep your time balanced – instead, set healthy boundaries and stick to them as much as possible.

By boundaries, I mean you set both space but especially time boundaries.  You have work time, spouse time, kid time and so forth.  These are planned ahead and agreed upon with your family.

This may seem subtle, but it’s incredibly freeing and really powerful.

• Spouse time is not work time, so you can put your phone away and actually have a focused conversation with your husband or wife.
• Kid time is not chore time (at least not always), so you can play with dolls now, fully present, and take care of paying bills later.
• Time spent on side businesses, self-education or hobbies you love is specified and held within healthy boundaries as well, so you can fully enjoy it within some self-imposed constraints that your spouse has agreed to.

Multi-tasking doesn’t work, and it cheats both you and your loved ones.  Don’t try it.

You may think you don’t have time to use boundaries in your busy life.

The truth is you don’t have time NOT to, and you’re wasting so many wonderful opportunities right now if you’re trying to be balanced.

Make A Change Today

If your marriage is anything like ours, this idea of setting healthy, specific boundaries on your time may be pretty foreign.

When you bring it up to your spouse, they may be a little shocked by what you’re suggesting.

If your schedule has been out of control for a while (like ours was), the suggestion of communicating about how you spend your time as a family and committing to some changes proactively may seem to come from left field.

But it’s so worth it – you can instantly reduce stress and guilt in your relationship and bring more happiness to your home.

Here’s a quick rundown of how to get started:

1. Ask your spouse to read this post with you and set a time after the kids are in bed to talk about your family schedule.
2. Share where you’ve felt frustrated both by where you’d like to spend more guilt-free time and where you’d like to cut back.  Your spouse should do the same so you can have an open conversation.
3. Together, agree on just ONE boundary you want to put in place this week.  You can always add more later, but you want to start off simply and see how well this works for you.

What does a boundary look like?  It can take any form really, but here are some sample ideas for you to consider:

• Phone/computer blackout zone (you can’t use them) between 6-8 p.m. to preserve family time
• Side business/hobby time only before 7 a.m. before the rest of the house is awake
• Minimum of 15 minutes of Couple Time at 8:30 p.m. when the kids are in bed
• Always go to bed together at 11 p.m.

The right boundaries will be specific to your household, but you can see how setting a few at different times of the day can provide clarity and consistency that your whole family will appreciate.

It doesn’t take a big change to make a BIG difference in your marriage and family life!

Want an Action Plan to Add More Quality Time to Your Life?

If you’re interested in enjoying more quality time with your spouse and kids, be sure to check out our popular Get More Quality Time workshop.

Here’s a rundown of the benefits you’ll get from this program:

Go check it out now and reclaim control of your schedule today!

3 Simple Ways for Couples to Exercise When You Have No Time

By Dustin | Time Management

Note: This is a guest post from my good friend Tony DiLorenzo at Fit Marriage.

Many years ago, before I got married and had kids, I can remember when I would stroll to the gym, workout for an hour or two, play some basketball, and then hangout with my friends afterwards.

Working out was simple and easy. The biggest factor for me was that I simply needed to get up and get my butt to the gym.

Those were some good times. Looking back, I wish I would have cherished those days more.

Now, 15 years of marriage and two kids later, it can be darn tough to not only get myself out of bed, but find the time to workout within my family structure.

It’s not just me anymore. Alisa, my lovely wife, enjoys working out too. If we want to get away from the house it means that the two of us have to be on the same page.

Luckily for us, we have worked through these issues, and I’m going to share how we have made fitness work in our busy family.

Workout Together

We resisted working out together for the longest time. It wasn’t that we didn’t enjoy being around each other, but a lack of communicating our goals.

I would push myself hard during workouts. Because I was pushing so hard, I expected Alisa to do the same.

The thing is that we had two different goals. My pushing Alisa during fitness pushed her away. She didn’t want to spend time with me as it made her feel inadequate. Looking back I can’t blame her for not wanting to workout with me.

Since that time, we have learned to express and share our goals when we start a new fitness program. It helps us to encourage one another instead of compete with each other.

Working out and being fit with your spouse isn’t a competition that requires a trip to on of the Chiropractors in Fulham afterwards. It is a time for the two of you to support and lift up one another.

Split Up and Get Outside

Over the years there have been numerous times when we wanted to be outside walking, running, biking, or going to a bootcamp. With two kids both of us can’t pick up and leave, and it is a bit tough to take younger kids along all the time.

During these times in our marriage, we sit down to talk through how both of us can get outside 2-3 times per week. What we do is look at our calendars and write down which days each of us can get outside for our workouts.

On days that Alisa goes out for her walks, I make those my weight lifting or inside cardio days. When I go out on a bike ride, Alisa will do an at-home workout that is in line with her goals.

There are those rare occasions when both kids are gone and we make sure to take advantage of those times. We usually get out for a quick 3-4 mile walk.

The key here is that we serve each other and know that by supporting one another we are building up our marriage.

Enjoy Quick & Effective Workouts

Lastly, when our kids were much smaller and time was of the essence, we were all about quick and effective workouts. These workouts lasted 15-30 minutes max.

What we loved about these and still like about these is that we got something in for the day. Don’t miss out on Thrive90 Fitness. We developed this especially for us and busy couples everywhere.

We realized that what we were doing wasn’t going to transform us 180 degrees in 90 days, but the small amount we did each day was having a profound impact on our lives.

After these quick and effective workouts our minds were clear, our endorphins were high, and it increased our desire to be sexually intimate with one another.

Where Are You Right Now?

Which of these fits your marriage/family situation?

Now is the time to determine what phase of your marriage and fitness you are in. No matter where you are I believe you can find time in your day to make fitness happen for you and your spouse.

Do you want to know the key?

I’m sure you do…START.

That’s it, start with a conversation with your spouse and start doing something that will be a benefit to your overall fitness.

It’s Your Time to Thrive – a contest!

By Dustin | Time Management

As you may have heard, we just opened enrollment in an all-new version of Time to Thrive.

Time to Thrive will show you how to get control of your schedule and become more productive.

Now, there are lots of programs, book and seminars out there that will tell you about time management (I’ve been through many of them).

But Time to Thrive is much different – it’s made so that you see RESULTS in all areas of your busy life. After all, it’s not about getting more stuff done, but doing what matters.

When you join, we’ll first get you focused in on one big goal you’ve been dying to accomplish – this is very personal but other graduates have rekindled the romance in their marriage, started a side business to make more money, ran a half marathon, gotten their house organized and many, many other cool things.

Then, through the accomplishment of your goal, I will walk you step-by-step to show you exactly how to get more time and become super-productive.  And you’ll build healthy habits in the process to make sure it sticks.

The program can be completed at your own pace, but most graduates take around 30 days.  So, 30 days from now you could have control over your time and be well on your way to accomplishing a big goal you’ve been craving.

How would it feel to know you’re setting an awesome example for your family by getting rid of stress, getting in control and focusing on what matters most in your blessed life?

I want you to experience it.

How to Win FREE Access to Time to Thrive

Time to Thrive was originally only open to a select test group who helped to perfect the program and make it as simple to follow and impactful as possible.  But we’re now opening it up to the entire Engaged Marriage community.

As part of this relaunch, we’re giving a major discount on enrollment to those who join us before the end of the day on Monday, July 1st.

But I want to make it even easier for you to experience Time to Thrive, so I’m holding a little contest here to give away one free membership.  I’ll announce the winners on Sunday evening.

This is YOUR chance to win and join the next graduating class of family leaders who will enjoy an extra hour of quality time every day and feel energized to do more of what matters.

This will only take a couple of minutes…all you have to do is answer ONE question.

Go check out the details about Time to Thrive by clicking here.  Then, in the comments section of this blog post, tell me…

• Why you think Time to Thrive can help you and your family and what outcome you want to see at the end of your 30 day experience
  

That’s it!  And remember, you can start the program whenever you want and progress as you please.

Entries with more specifics have a better chance of winning.

You must enter by Sunday 6/30 at 7:00 p.m. CST.  I’m going to go through every single one of your responses and award a winner late Sunday evening.

If you win, you’ll get:

• The full Time to Thrive program where I’ll walk you through how to get control of your time, become super-productive and achieve any goal you’d like – so you enjoy at least an extra hour of quality time each day.
• Exclusive access to the private Thrive Community. This is where you interact with me and other Time to Thrive students (and graduates!). So if you ever felt like you were “going it alone” as a busy Family Leader, now you can meet other like-minded people that “get you.”
• Bonus #1 – The Thrive “Get Unstuck” Success Guide
• Bonus #2 – The Thrive Productivity App & Family Leader Resource Guide
• Lifetime access and updates

I will award one membership.  I’m really excited to read your entry and hear what you have to say about the impact of having more time to do more of what matters in your life…

Good Luck!