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4 Ways to Support Your Spouse Working from Home

By Dustin | Communication

Support Your Spouse Working From Home

Many people enjoy the opportunity to work remotely from home, and it has become an increasingly more popular setup over recent years. While this type of flexibility and arrangement certainly has its perks, it can often be a difficult situation to successfully navigate living at home with your spouse whose office is also your shared home.

Here are some of the best ways you can support your spouse working remotely for a happy work/home life balance.

Gift Some Blue Light Glasses

Is your partner having trouble winding down at night after a long day in front of the laptop?

It’s most likely a side effect from overexposure to blue light. This particular type of light that gets emitted from computer screens, or other digital devices, not only can have adverse effects on the eyes themselves, but it can also throw off one’s circadian rhythm, which lets the body know when it’s time to fall asleep at night, resulting in a lack of quality sleep.

However, stylish blue light glasses can be great to look into for your spouse should they be struggling to maintain a consistent sleep schedule since working remotely. As more time is clocked in front of the screen, blue light glasses block these higher energy wavelengths of light, protecting the eyes—allowing for better sleep and a less cranky partner!

Preserving a healthy sleep schedule has many health benefits, and this simple gift can make all the difference on screen-heavy days.

Discuss Workspace Options

Just as each marriage and relationship is unique, so are people’s working styles.

While some individuals thrive in group settings and enjoy the company of others as they complete their work, others may find it distracting and prefer a quieter or private working environment. Additionally, each job will have different requirements when it comes to meeting schedules or working hours.

Having an open conversation and communicating with your work-from-home spouse can provide great insight as to what type of support they need from you, as well as prove that you value the time and effort they put into completing their daily tasks.

Even finding small ways to create a calming home office space, like helping to keep things tidy or incorporating soothing colors, can be a great form of encouragement. Dedicating a set space for them to complete their work offers an outlet should the distractions of working from home take over.

Plan a Staycation

For remote employees, it can be difficult to recognize when to power off for the day when their office space is also their home.

Specifically now, with travel being discouraged due to the pandemic, a great way to help your spouse make use of their vacation time in a safe, but fun, way is to plan a staycation.

Taking advantage of their earned vacation time is something that some remote workers may be hesitant to do at this time. However, taking needed time off work can help prevent burnout and is overall beneficial to one’s mental health.

A staycation allows for the luxuries of a typical vacation without breaking the bank, less time needed to plan, and is a safer option to relax during this time of limited travel.

Small Reminders

Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest difference, especially when considering the specific disadvantages that come with remote work—including a lack of motivation and a feeling of disconnect from their coworkers or team.  

Taking on small tasks, like offering to make the bed or a cup of coffee in the morning, are easy acts of service that can help motivate your partner on the days they may feel less motivated to get up for work.

If your partner values a routine and remote work is a newer setup for them, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy in their workday can go a long way in showing your support.

Whether this means having a conversation with them on their lunch break like you typically would if they were in the office or slipping a note in their laptop, there are small ways to show your love around the house. 

As remote work seems to show that it won’t be going anywhere for some time, learning to navigate having a spouse work from home is a crucial step in maintaining a happy marriage during these times.

Communicating with each other and offering small forms of encouragement can make a major difference in the job satisfaction of your partner.

6 Ways to Continue Pursuing your Spouse When Marriage Gets Tough

By Dustin | Communication

Pursuing Your Spouse When Marriage Gets Tough

We know that sometimes those vows don’t feel like they stuck very well, you might feel like they were an overpromise, unachievable, or even impossible.

Not to worry! We have six of our best tips to equip you both to make it through this season even stronger than before.

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” – Pearl Buck

1. Make Getting Along the Goal

If you both agree that disagreeing isn’t serving your relationship well, maybe it is time to re-evaluate your relationship goals during this rocky patch in your love story. You two have grown and changed since you first said those special vows.

If all you seem to do these days is argue, make a new vow to each other to always try to end a disagreement with an open mind and heart. This is also a great foundation for evaluating if there are any unnecessary arguments happening that are causing you both unneeded distress and division.

2. Spend Intentional Time Pursuing Each Other Again

Pursuing your partner in marriage looks a lot like it did back when you were dating.

When was the last time you told your spouse how much they meant to you? Or even looked into their eyes deeply to share with them the truest, “I love you”?

Pursuit can look like a lot of different things – it can look like a day trip to your favorite place, dinner at your favorite restaurant, or maybe a date night in.

Maybe you should budget time to pour into your partner? By subscribing to a date night box, you can have a date night every month from the comfort of your own home.

Or you can take your date nights outside! Did you both love adventuring as a dating couple? Now is the time to get nostalgic if you can!

Take a moment to pause here, remember your younger selves, and remember why you both said: “I do”!

3. Give them the Benefit of the Doubt

How many times have you jumped to conclusions and snipped at your spouse for something that you misinterpreted? Too many times to count at this point, right?

Pride and impatience breed discontentment. Instead of entering into a conversation with your spouse with anger, choose patience instead.

Conversations do not need to escalate to full-blown arguments if you both have chosen to make getting along your goal! Take a breath – catching your partner off guard with sharp remarks or trying to always get the last word in will not be fruitful for your relationship.

Your spouse will be much more receptive to talking through things with you if you choose to talk through your concerns when it’s a good time for both of you. If you respect their time, energy, and emotions by being responsible for your own emotions, you will both be better off.

4. Use I and WHY Statements

Did your spouse say something that hurt your feelings? Did they do something that offended you or was not received well by you?

There are healthy tactics to bring these things up without declaring war on the other. Here is one of our favorites – using an “I” statement instead of “you”. Let us explain.

Using an “I” and “WHY” statement allows you to hold responsibility for your emotions and explain your point of view from a responsible perspective.

Example: “I was hurt by the way you said that because I have expressed to you in the past how that made me feel unloved.”

A tactic like this is much better received compared to the same conversation that is started like this: “Why do you always say that, did you not hear me the last time I said not to do that? Do you even listen to me?”.

See the difference between the two? If you explain how you are feeling, you are much more likely to get your point across.

5. Check Your Expectations

Are your expectations too high? Most of us at one point or another in a relationship realize we may have set the bar too high. We are all only human, right?

Take a look at the things that are upsetting you in your relationship currently. Now, are those things realistic things to be upset about? Or are these things upsetting you out of anyone’s control?

Are they outrageous expectations for anyone to meet? If you said yes to any of these things, maybe it is time to lower the bar a little and extend some grace to your partner.

Extra points if you apologize to your partner for expecting too much from them, and tell them that you love them!

6. Meet your Spouse’s Most Important Emotional Needs

We all have different love languages. One of the most difficult concepts is giving and receiving love how others need love to be given and received. What are your partner’s love languages?

Read more here on The 5 Love Languages®. The more you push yourself to love your partner the way they need to be loved, the better your relationship will be.

It is hard work, but don’t let that stop you from rebuilding that firm foundation in your relationship.

You’ve heard it before, marriage isn’t easy. Just because it may not always be easy, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it!

If you both remember how his love story started, you can work together to make it through this tough time. Be encouraged because flexing your communication muscles will only make your relationship stronger. 

How to Confront Your Husband About Flirting (without Starting a Fight)

By Dustin | Communication

4 Inspired Ways to Get the Respect You Deserve

Is a woman flirting with your husband at work?  Or maybe he’s the one flirting with another woman?  

Either way, it is crazy-making to deal with a flirty husband!  It’s scary to think what that might lead to. 

It’s also just plain hurtful to live with. 

Does he really expect you to turn a blind eye to such blatant misbehavior?  How are you supposed to ignore his ogles, smiles, and winks?

That’s not right.  He should be more respectful and control himself.

But what if he won’t? 

It’s embarrassing, and it can make you feel like a fool. 

Fortunately, you can use your influence to put an end to such disrespect.

Here are 4 ways to end the flirting problem and get the respect you deserve, without having to just ignore it.  

1. Don’t Make This Very Common Mistake 

Flirting has many purposes.  

It could be reward-seeking or looking for proof that he’s still “got it.” 

It could be an awkward way of getting your attention, even if it’s negative.

It could also be a way to shore up a self-esteem issue.

That doesn’t make it right. 

That doesn’t make it okay. 

But knowing that could be a clue that helps you resolve the issue.

Here’s what I mean: No marriage is perfect – not even mine. If yours isn’t perfect either and if your husband is dissatisfied with the relationship because you’re unhappy with him (maybe because of all his ogling), he may compensate with what he considers harmless flirting.

We all have a deep need to be heard and seen and known in big and small ways. That’s just human. If he’s looking for that, ask yourself: Has he been able to get that from me recently?

I’m NOT saying his flirting is your fault. Not at all. 

But if your relationship is falling short or you’ve lost the joyful spark that attracted him in the first place, then you have more power than you realize to keep his wandering eyes firmly planted on you. 

And it’s not going to happen by scowling at him, even though you’re hurt and upset.

That’s a very common mistake I see so many women making, but it actually makes things worse because what he’s missing the most is your happy, sexy smile directed at him.

Have you flashed him one of those recently? Can he still get the validation and approval from you that he used to get?

It’s easy to become serious or overwhelmed when there’s a lot on your plate. You may have lost the playfulness you once had.

Consider what’s happening on your side of the street. 

Ask yourself if you have behaviors that might cause your spouse to feel insecure? 

Of course you don’t intend to make him feel insecure, but him flirting could actually be a symptom that he’s not sure you think he’s still “got it.”

Just letting him know that you think he does could go a long way toward ending his flirting with others.

2. Avoid Unwittingly Making His Flirting Worse 

When Mia was worried about her husband’s too-close-for-comfort relationships with other women, she laid down the law and made it clear that if he ever cheated, she’d be out of there. 

Guess what happened after her ultimatum?  He cheated. 

Author John Gray of Mars and Venus fame nailed it: “When a man does not feel loved just the way he is, he will either consciously or unconsciously repeat the behavior that is not being accepted. He feels an inner compulsion to repeat the behavior until he feels loved and accepted.”

That’s not to say it was Mia’s fault, but it was a painful lesson for her that what she focuses on increases.  Now that she has shifted her focus to how faithful he is and how much he wants to please her, she’s the one he’s flirting with!  

No one likes a nag.  If you bring up every one-off instance where he flirted, that will only make him feel like your personal punching bag, and he’ll retreat even further. 

Also, if you’re anything like me, you don’t just want him to stop flirting, you want him to want to stop flirting.  But laying down the law does just the opposite of what you want it to do. The moment you make an ultimatum, you’re dangling forbidden fruit that actually makes him more likely to continue the unwanted behavior, as I explain here.

Is there a certain stressor in your marriage that leads to him flirting?  For instance, does he get more flirtatious with other women after you’ve had a nasty spat? 

It can be even more crazy-making when that happens, but consider the possibility that you could interrupt the whole vicious cycle yourself by changing up just your lines in the familiar argument you have about flirting, just like Mia did. 

3. Get More Respect and Reconnect with These Three Words  

Men want to feel masculine.  Going into mom mode by scrutinizing his every move tends to have the opposite effect (not to mention killing the intimacy since nobody wants to have sex with his mother).

So don’t get too caught up in the details of his flirting, like saying, “Remember that one time you ogled the barista and the waitress after and the very next day the crossing guard?” 

Naming names will put him on the defensive.  Nobody’s at their best when they feel defensive.

Instead, listen to his side of the story, even if you don’t agree with it.  Simply responding with “I hear you” when he opens up and shares with you is a magical way to create a culture of mutual respect.  

After all, conflict resolution is a two-way street.  

If you’re not rehashing the dirty details of his deeds, what are you supposed to communicate about?  Try recognizing his strengths and the strengths of your relationship.  Consider going a step further and actually expressing your gratitude for all those strengths. 

This does double-duty: You quit giving oxygen to the behavior you don’t want (which actually increased it), instead increasing what you do want to see more of.  

You’ll also create a culture of gratitude this way, so be prepared to be on the receiving end of lots more appreciation! 

4. Bring the Butterflies Back

Make your marriage fun!  Use tiny gestures that show him your flirty side.  Hugging, kissing, and handholding are all strong relationship anchors. 

An old ad for jeans wisely put it this way: You flirt not because he looks good but because YOU do.

In other words, feeling good about yourself – whether it’s because you gave yourself a pedicure, are flush from a brisk walk, or spent the whole day at a spa–is a great springboard to flirting.

Outside flirting is often a way for him to rediscover the passion and excitement you shared in the early days of your relationship.  If you miss that too, think about what you could do to bring back those butterflies-in-your-stomach moments.

When Candace’s husband’s flirtation with his secretary went too far and he told his wife he needed a three-month break from her, she went full Goddess of Fun and Light mode.  She piled on the fun, indulged in activities that made her happy, making a point to schedule at least three per day. 

She dialed up the gender contrast by dressing sexy and feminine.  She honored her desires, even buying herself flowers.  As she focused on what she wanted, she considered going overseas to pursue her studies. 

But her husband talked her out of it!  

She’d become so irresistible that he couldn’t even wait three months before coming back home.  He started saying “I love you” several times a day, which he had never done in all their years together.  He now held her so tightly at night that she ended up sleeping crooked so as not to forego the delicious snuggling.   

The chemistry was definitely back!  And the extracurricular flirting was gone.

The same can happen in your relationship when you focus on doing the things that bring you closer.

About Laura Doyle

Hi! I’m Laura.

I was the perfect wife – until I actually got married. When I tried to tell my husband how to be more romantic, more ambitious, and tidier, he avoided me. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I then started talking to women who had what I wanted in their marriages and that’s when I got my miracle. The man who wooed me returned.

I wrote a few books about what I learned and accidentally started a worldwide movement of women who practice The Six Intimacy Skills™ that lead to having amazing, vibrant relationships. The thing I’m most proud of is my playful, passionate relationship with my hilarious husband John – who has been dressing himself since before I was born.

The Often Overlooked Factor That Has The Biggest Impact on Your Relationship

By Dustin | Communication

Have you ever known a couple that has huge arguments and blow-outs, but is also so in love that they couldn’t live without each other?

Relationships are rife with conflict. But make no mistake: relationships are also our number one source of happiness. Nothing else comes close to it.

Success, wealth, or achievement can’t take the place of fulfilling relationships. Nothing else tugs as tight on our hearts or delights our spirits more than a relationship that meets our longing for belonging.

This, unfortunately, is where the problem lies.

We want to belong. We want to feel like we’re not alone.

Whether that’s home with a partner you love…

Or in the office, feeling like you’re valued and appreciated…

Or around friends and family; those who understand what you’re like…

You long to belong!

This places a lot of pressure on your relationships. Maybe you put so much pressure on yours that you define your happiness and self-worth based on the strength of them. You want them to be strong and healthy. So, as soon as you hit a problem you immediately jump to a solution to improve it.

Maybe this is why you’re reading this article right now…

The problem with this is, you miss the most important aspect that impacts your relationships.

And, you overlook the actual root cause of your pain: your own wholeness.

Why Wholeness Has a Huge Impact on Your Relationships

Although relationships are the number one source of happiness, they will never complete you.

If you try to build intimacy with another before you have gotten whole on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself. This is why so many relationships fall flat or fail. Nobody else can complete you. Not a friend, colleague, family member, or even your soul mate.

Nobody can do that work for you. 

They can help you, as iron sharpens iron. 

But you are the one who must do the work.

Any relationship you have with another can only be as healthy as the one you have with yourself.

So although you may have arrived here wanting to improve your relationship with your:

… I’ll instead encourage you to focus on the relationship you have with yourself.

How To Move Towards Wholeness

There’s a lot that goes into making yourself whole. It’s often a life-long journey.

The sooner you start it, the better; the sooner you can finally be whole and feel like you belong.

Until you feel whole, nobody else will fill the void.

You can read books and try every trick in them, but you’ll keep returning to the same point.

Here are a few ways you can move toward wholeness.

1: Define What Being Whole Means To You

Whatever your baggage or background, I know at least one thing about you:

Each day you either move away from or toward the person you want to be.

You’re either maximizing your moments or allowing them to slip by without notice.

It’s hard to know which camp you fit into unless you know where you’re heading.

  • What does wholeness mean to you?
  • What does progress look like?
  • How will you know when you arrive?

Too many people live life with no thought of where they’re going. 

Yet if you want to feel whole, you must first define what it is.

This is unique to you, too. For one person, feeling whole may involve: the freedom to work wherever you like, whenever you like; feeling healthy and fit; have time each day to reflect and enjoy a little “me” time…

Whereas for someone else, feeling whole may center around: family, spending time with your kids each day and enjoying adventures with one another.

There is no right or wrong.

It’s about what’s right for you.

What makes you whole?

What does wholeness look like to you?

2: Appreciate You Are Not, And Never Will Be Perfect

Nobody is perfect. Not even healthy and happy people. 

In fact, the truly healthy and happy ones own their dark side; their ugly parts

They recognize and study their personal flaws, wounds, and idiosyncrasies. 

Knowing they have blind spots, they’re on an unending quest for better self-insight. 

Through good times and bad, they continue on their journey to improve. Their brokenness and failures become the reason to grow, not a deterrent from it. They embrace that they’ll never be perfect.

They may never quite reach the point they’re driving toward.

And they are okay with this because their real purpose is the journey they’re on.

3: Be Content With The Present And Grateful For The Past

To use the thoughts of Epicurus: the most contented people remember the past with gratitude and accept their present situation without coveting what someone else has.

We all have a past.

Some of it is good.

Other parts of it are bad.

To become whole, you must accept the past for what it is; to be at peace with it; grateful, even.

It’s impossible to feel content with what you have, otherwise.

How can you possibly live in the moment if you cling to the past?

Yet once you do live in the moment, you can be thankful and grateful for what you have. 

No longer envious of what other people own, you can finally become whole.

4: You Have A Choice, And It’s Yours Alone

“I never knew I had a choice.”

It’s the saddest sentence I ever hear when counseling someone.

Many things in life are beyond your control. 

But there is a vast, unclaimed territory of actions over which you do. 

These actions involve the countless choices you make—or do not makeevery day.

These choices go on to define your life and how you feel about… everything.

Whatever your situation is, I promise you that you do have a choice.

If you wish to become whole, it’s within your control.

If you want to heal your relationships (with others and yourself), you can choose to whenever you like.

5: Be Aware of Where You Are Right Now

This final step is actually the first one.

Before you can define where you’re going and who you want to become, you must first appreciate where you are.

  • How you’re feeling.
  • How you currently act (and react).
  • The state of your relationships overall.
  • The state of your most important relationships.
  • The state of the relationship you have with yourself!

A question I’m often asked is:

What’s the single most important thing you can do for your relationships?

I offer a simple answer: Get Healthy!

When relationships go bad, we look for things (or people) to blame.

We expect relationships to make us feel better about ourselves.

This is wrong. It’s the other way around.

Our relationships improve once we improve the one we have with ourselves. 

This begins once you gain an awareness of where you are.

You are not perfect and you never will be. So, embrace the point you’re at.

To help you discover this, I’ve prepared a Free Assessment you can take. This free assessment shows you ways you can destroy toxic self-talk and revolutionize your relationships.

The way you talk to yourself prevents you from being (and feeling) whole

Take back control. Once you do, you can mend those relationships that feel most broken.

#1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Les Parrott  is a psychologist and author of best-selling books including Love Talk, The Good Fight, Crazy Good Sex, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts.

His work has been featured in the New York Times and USA Today and on CNN, Good Morning America, the Today Show, The View, and Oprah.

Please check out his latest work and take his free assessment for the health of your self talk (and relationships) by visiting HealthyMeHealthyUs.com.

5 Ways to Stop Arguing with Your Spouse

By Dustin | Communication

5 Ways to Stop Arguing with Your SpouseStop arguing with your spouse…if only it were so simple!

Let’s face it…communication is very complex.

It’s not like something like money, which is very quantifiable and systematic, as in “Do X, Y, Z, and you’ll be successful.”

Communication between one person and another is so much more personalized and dynamic, especially with your spouse.

“You Are Here”

You’ve probably been wandering around the mall before, certain the store you’re looking for is just up ahead…and then wondering where the heck it went.

Communicating with your spouse seems so straightforward, in theory.

Before you know it, you’ve gotten off track and are so caught up in it that you don’t know where you are or how you even got there.

It’s times like this I wish we had a map to reference, with a “You Are Here” sticker, just like at the mall.

Now, I don’t know if this happens in your house (it sure does in mine), but I’ll get in a conversation with my wife Bethany, and we’ll start disagreeing about something.

What we’re talking about five minutes into the conversation is not what we started talking about.

I literally forget what started it!

We’ll be talking about budgeting and asking, “Where is this receipt?” Then all of a sudden we’re talking about stuff that has nothing to do with budgeting.

By then it has moved on to more personal things. Someone says, “I can’t believe you did that.”

And then you realize, “Wait a minute. How did we get to this?”

How to Stop Arguing with Your Spouse

Whenever you get into a tense moment with your husband or wife, it’s very likely one or both of you started to recognize that you’ve starting to gradually get off course.

You’ve probably felt things getting too tense as the conversation gets heated.

The good news is, it’s not too late to get things back on track again, de-escalate and stop arguing with your spouse.

First, notice what’s going on. Then, attempt to repair things…to break the tension, to soften the situation a bit.

This could just be a glance. It could be something you say. It could be interjecting some humor, or even a change of scenery.

Whatever it is, it’s your chance to disrupt the current cycle and get things back on task.

That “something” is called a repair attempt. Repair attempts are ways to break the tension and realize the current conversation doesn’t have to erupt into something emotionally charged.

Repair attempts are nothing more than subtle things with an amazing ability to break the pattern of arguing.

I’m going to share the top five with you so you can put them to good use to stop arguing with your spouse.

Repair Attempt #1: Using Humor

Imagine that you’re arguing with your husband or wife about something yet again and suddenly they stick their tongue out, just like a four-year old.

Would that break the mood? You bet it would.

It’s kind of silly but it works! You’re in a tense conversation and all of a sudden you recognize, “Wait a minute…I don’t want to be like this.”

So you stick out her tongue out and before you know it, they’re doing the same and you’re both laughing. After a good chuckle, you both take a short break and come back to what you were talking about.

You can also say something funny to break the mood. Just be careful!

Sometimes that’s pushing the wrong button, and you especially don’t want to come across as making light of something or making fun of her. Try making fun of the situation instead.

Repair Attempt #2: Switch Rooms

This time, let’s say that you and your wife are in your living room having a conversation that is turning into an argument.

She recognizes that you’re talking about something important that deserves to be discussed, but that things are started to get heated and she doesn’t want that.

So she asks, “Hey, can we carry on this conversation in the kitchen?”

You reply, almost without thinking, “Sure…Okay.”

Before you know it, you’re in a different room and it feels different. This is a great chance to start over again, and approach the conversation from a more conscious mindset.

And this feeling of a “reset” can be one of the best ways to stop arguing with your spouse, even if the effect is a bit subconscious.

Repair Attempt #3: Go for a Walk Together

Another way to break the tension is to go for a walk together. This works really well with emotionally-charged situations.

Not only does it involve “switching rooms” by going outside, but when you’re walking side-by-side it feels more like you’re easing into your difficult conversation.

You’re approaching it head-on without all the pressure of being face-to-face, which can feel like a confrontation.

For my wife and I, the greatest conversations happen when we’re driving because I have to keep looking forward.

I’m not saying you should avoid eye contact, but consider it taking a break from staring at each other’s frustrated faces.

Repair Attempt #4: Using Touch

Another tip along these lines is to hold hands. It just warms the heart and serves as a reminder that you’re both coming from a loving place.

Even if you’re really angry, it’s pretty hard to hold their hand and look into their eyes without feeling soothed enough to get back on track about whatever the conversation is supposed to be about.

Be the first to reach out and gently hold your partner’s hand, and you’ll see the difference it makes.

Repair Attempt #5: Sit Beside Each Other

Like I was saying before, no one ever said you have to sit face-to-face across the table from each other and talk things out. It can feel kind of confrontational.

Maybe neither of you feel like doing that this time. One of you might be comfortable with eye contact, and the other is not.

Instead, try sitting beside each other, because then you can concentrate on the topic at hand without getting caught up in body language – which may or may not be tied to what’s really going on.

Now, of course you want to be tuned into their mood. But you also don’t want unhelpful distractions.

If, for example, my face gets some sort of weird look all of a sudden and my wife sees that, she’s going to respond to it.

Maybe I just have gas, though!

I might be uncomfortable, but it’s not about what we’re talking about. It’s something else. In the heat of the moment, however, it’s easy to misunderstand.

Setting the Habit

Obviously, as you understand each other and connect better over time, the fewer misunderstandings you’ll have.

But body language will always influence us in ways we’re not even aware of, so try sitting beside each other and see how it feels.

Human nature is what it is, despite our best intentions. So until the day comes that tempers never start to escalate, you have these five repair attempts.

Try each of them and see how they go for you. You might even come up with your own and personalize things for your own relationship and experiences.

The main thing is to 1) be conscious when tension is occurring, and 2) use your communication skills to break the pattern and get back on track again.

You’ll find it helps repair your conversations and does preventative maintenance on your relationship as well.

And those are two keys to stop arguing with your spouse.

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