how to reconnect with your spouse emotionally and sexually

Long-term relationships are hard work. So, finding ways to reconnect with your spouse and keep the spark alive is no exception. Once you’ve surpassed the honeymoon phase, it can be easy to fall into a stale routine. Especially, when you add in kids, career changes, family-related challenges, and so on. It can be difficult to rekindle that first-date spark, but not impossible. 

If you’re searching for ways to reconnect with your spouse, keep reading to learn more.

The Importance of Reconnecting with your Spouse

Life gets busy and more challenging the older you get. It’s natural to drift apart from your significant other from time to time. However, it’s important to put in the effort and reconnect with your spouse and strengthen your relationship. 

One big factor that causes a disconnect is not listening to your partner. When in a routine, we forget to check in with our partners and genuinely ask how they’re doing. This leads to a lack of communication, feelings of loneliness, and disagreements or unresolved conflict. 

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How to Reconnect with Your Spouse Emotionally

In order to breathe life back into your relationship, you need to be dedicated and ready to be on the same page.  Without both of your commitments, it can be nearly impossible to reconnect with your spouse. 

Ask Engaging Questions

Sometimes all you need from your partner is to know that they care. Ask engaging questions and truly listen to what your partner has to say. Try having dinner without your phones or TV to recreate a date night experience. Then, consider asking questions you may have never asked before. A few examples may include, ‘What was your childhood career dream?’ ‘If you could time travel, where would you go?’ ‘What piece of advice would your 10-year-old self tell your current self?’ 

By asking engaging questions, you can learn more about your partner and just have a good laugh together again. You can also try one of these communication games to get the dialogue flowing.

Be Present When You Spend Time Together

Along the same lines as listening to your partner, being fully present is a fantastic way to deepen your connection. Enjoy doing simple activities together, like cooking or walking the dog, with a true intention of just being with each other. This can also involve touch. Go for a walk and hold hands, visit the park and have a picnic, or cuddle together on the couch at home. The important thing here is to be fully present and aware of your partner no matter what you’re doing. 

Try a new activity to reconnect with your spouse

Try a New Activity Together

Another great way to reconnect with your spouse is to try something new! Block out some time one day a week to incorporate a date night. This way you have something new and exciting to look forward to every week. Sign up for a cooking class, pottery or painting class, or a physical activity like rock climbing, hiking, or paddleboarding.  

Focus on Rebuilding Your Friendship

Also, look at ways to rebuild your friendship. Find ways to laugh together and do something silly. Get inspired with board games, solving a puzzle, or going to a theme park for the day. 

How to Reconnect With Your Partner Sexually

Once you’ve been able to reconnect on an emotional and intellectual level, you can turn your focus toward your love life. Let’s find out how to reconnect with your partner physically to deepen your sex life. 

Connect With Your Own Body

If you’re searching for ways to spark up the bedroom, try connecting with your own body first. It’s crucial for you to love your body in order to improve your sexual connection with your partner. For example, eating healthy and exercising regularly can boost your libido and confidence in the bedroom.

Communicate Fantasies & Try New Things

Another great way to boost passion is by mixing things up!  Talk to each other about sexual fantasies, like role-playing, adding in toys, or playing games. Also, try changing up how and where you’re having sex. Your partner’s sexual needs and interests may change over time, so it’s important to communicate this to your spouse. 

reconnect with your spouse sexually

Prioritize Sex

Most importantly, find ways to prioritize sex with your partner. If you’re not one to normally initiate sex, be the initiator. To help set the mood, light candles, put on a sexy playlist, and increase physical touches and emotional connections. Set aside time to focus on really getting familiar with your partner’s body. 

Learning how to reconnect with your partner emotionally and sexually is critical to the success of your marriage. You can always find small ways to love and appreciate each other. Then let the rest of it unfold naturally. Be more aware of your partner and take time to send love notes, offer a compliment, hold hands, or surprise them with a passionate kiss. In time you’ll see your relationship blossom and deepen once again. 


About the author 


Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

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