The truth about building trust in your relationships

Building trust in your marriage should be the foundation because it creates a safe space with your partner. Without trust, it’s difficult to have or maintain a thriving relationship long-term. 

When trust is broken, fear and worry begin to settle in. If you’re constantly worried about your partner’s thoughts and actions, you’ll never feel truly safe. Rebuilding trust in a marriage can be challenging. However, if both partners work together and are fully committed to the process, it can be done. 

The Importance of Building Trust In a Marriage 

A strong relationship is built on honesty and open communication. So in order to establish trust, you and your partner need to get on the same page. By communicating each other’s thoughts and feelings, you can avoid unnecessary arguments. It also creates a safe and peaceful environment at home. 

Trust in marriage also fosters mutual respect. This allows you to always have your partner’s best interests in mind. When you fully trust each other, you’re less stressed and feel more secure and comfortable.

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How to Build Trust In a Marriage 

So, you might be wondering “how can I get my husband or wife to trust me?” Here are a few important tips to help build trust in your marriage. 

Be Honest

Honesty is always the best policy. Lying and deceit will only cause strain and heartbreak in a marriage. It’s best to be completely honest with your partner no matter what. Have open and meaningful conversations about your day, what you’re struggling with, or what you’re working towards. The more you can open up, the deeper your connection will be. 

Act as A Team

Acting as a team can strengthen your overall bond. When you’re aligned with your thoughts and actions, your partner will feel secure, safe, and valued. It’s important to communicate and work together as a team regarding important life decisions like child care, finances, and family matters. 

Focus on Connection

It can be hard to find quality time to connect with your spouse. Especially, when life gets busy with kids and your careers. However, connecting with your partner is crucial to maintaining trust. If you’re lacking in connection, you start to feel distant and isolated. Set aside time to be present with your spouse and focus on building that connection. 

focus on connection to help rebuild trust in a marriage

Apologize and Own Your Mistakes

We all make mistakes. So, admitting your wrong is a true act of strength and vulnerability. Owning up to your mistakes will also show respect and support for your partner. It also shows that you care more about the relationship than being wrong. Don’t shift the blame or say something you’ll later regret. Show your partner respect and apologize for any wrongdoing before it’s too late. 

Take Time to Connect Deeply

Deep emotional connections can take time to establish. If you or your partner are emotionally withdrawn, it can bring up doubts and insecurities. Take time to be present with each other and ask what your partner needs. If they’re stressed out or struggling with an issue, ask what you can do to support them. When you’re deeply present and engaged, you’re reassuring your partner of your commitment. 

Discuss Any Previous Trauma or Trust Issues

Let the past be the past. Although, learning and understanding your partner’s past trauma can help support them during difficult times. Knowing your partner’s triggers can also strengthen your communication and security. If your partner has gone through past trauma, allow them the space and support to open up about it in their own time. Everyone goes through a healing process in different ways. Offering them your support and commitment will allow them to feel safe and secure.

Create an Emotionally Safe Environment

Work on creating an emotionally safe environment to offer a non-judgemental space. Your partner should be free to express their thoughts, needs, and feelings without judgment. Always listen and validate their concerns, rather than trying to fix them. Also, consider setting healthy boundaries. It’s ok for your partner to ask for some space if they’re struggling with something. Allow them to come to you when they are ready. 

Show Respect With Your Words and Actions

Actions speak louder than words. If you say you’re going to do something, then follow through. This will strengthen your bond and mutual respect for each other. So, be mindful of what you say and be sure to always keep your promises. 

how to rebuild trust in a marriage

How To Rebuild Trust in A Marriage

Once trust has been broken it can take months or even years to re-establish it. Follow the steps below to help rebuild trust in a marriage. 

Take Responsibility for Past Dishonesty

If you’ve been dishonest or unfaithful, it’s time to own up to your wrongdoing and take responsibility for your actions. It can be tough to tell the truth. But, once it’s out in the open it’ll help release feelings of guilt, resentment, and anger. Then you can work together on rebuilding your connection.

Commit To Doing The Work

If both partners aren’t committed to rebuilding the marriage, it’ll be nearly impossible to repair. Be willing to do whatever you can to earn their respect back. It will most likely be a long process, but don’t give up. Allow your partner some time to process, ask questions, and release any feelings of they may need to express. 

Accept Apologies and Forgive

It can be challenging to forgive someone after they’ve betrayed you. However, accepting an apology and offering forgiveness is a key step in rebuilding a broken marriage. Whether you’re receiving or giving an apology, be patient. If needed, consider speaking to a professional to help open the dialogue and create a plan to get you back on track. 

Regularly Acknowledge and Appreciate Each Other

Showing that you care and appreciate your spouse can help in healing the wounds. Take the initiative to prove to your partner that you want the relationship to work. Acknowledge their feelings about the situation and be open and honest about your feelings too. 

Be Vulnerable

Lastly, be vulnerable with your partner. You need to earn their trust again by being completely honest and open about any wrongdoings. This may require a bit of self-work to understand the root cause of the lying or infidelity. 

Honest and healthy relationships can get through anything, thick or thin. As long as you’re both committed to each other and openly communicate, you can have a loving, nurturing relationship. 


About the author 


Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

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