Have you been lied to about sex?
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Lie #1 is a frequent one heard and it makes no since from a “God created us” standpoint. The woman has a part on her body (Clitoris) that is solely (at least as far as I know from an anatomy standpoint) designed for sexual stimulation and to have sexual satisfaction. So, God, the creator, made that part specifically on women. Why would he do that if he didn’t want women to enjoy sex and have sexual satisfaction or if He only meant for sex to make babies?
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I am practically crippled by #3. In efforts to guide me on the correct path, sex was made so taboo and wrong in my mind that I still have many intimacy problems, after 16 years of marriage. The over-sexualized, practically pornographic world we live in has hinder me even more. I constantly worry about what my husband expects and how he thinks things should be, especially when he thinks I’m silly for not liking and wanting to try things he is comfortable with. I have yet to find anything that helps me, and actually fear that I’m becoming more inhibited from the stress of it all.
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Thank you @Brian and @Heather for the comments.
@Heather… I don’t think you are alone in these struggles. I believe many Christians in particular struggle with identifying authentic sexual intimacy from what the world perpetuates. I encourage you to dig into God’s Word with your husband. There are also some great Christian sex books available that may help you past some of the struggles. If you wanted to email me directly to dialogue a bit, you can email me at jksibert@cox.net. I’m happy to share some resources, ideas, etc.
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I love this article! I wish more woman in the Christian community would read articles like this. I feel like if this issue was really addressed in a lot of marriages, there would be much happier marriages. God made sex between a husband and wife for a reason. He could have chosen a much simpler way to procreate. He chose this. It’s not just for procreation, it’s for pleasure. For both the male and female. My husband and I have been married almost ten years. Our youngest is 6, and hubby gets the occasional ” 6 years since he last had sex ” joke. If only they knew I usually want it more than him! He has a healthy sex drive, but so do I. I personally love the gift of sex. It’s such a special time alone with my hubby. In a busy life with 3 kids, what better way to connect? Of course we talk, and are intimate in other ways, but I just love having sex with my husband. I wish more woman shared that enthusiasm. Get rid of the ole wives hate sex popular belief. Men are wired to want sex. I think if you keep that connection, keep that sex life alive( and not in a dragging my feet to have sex to please him, but in a way he knows you’re enjoying it too) I think out helps keep the devil at bay. A need that God has given is being met in a way He intended it too. We get to have sex about 3 times a week. I know it makes him feel wanted sexually too. It’s important to keep that couple alive. Hubby makes me feel beautiful. And it’s a beautiful thing God brings in a marriage when all needs are being met. Thank you for this article!
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Amen, Misty!
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and for affirming how well sex fits into God’s plan for a happy marriage, including your own. I’m also fed up with the stereotype that women don’t enjoy sex and need to be coerced by their husbands to make it happen.
God is good, and He made sex great! 🙂
Dustin
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[…] 3 Sex Lies (Some) Christian Wives Believe […]
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Before being married, I definitely believed the first one. I didn’t think I would be able to enjoy sex, and honestly I didn’t initially because I was psychologically blocking myself from pleasure. I had been under the false assumption that in order to be godly I couldn’t be sexy too. But I have learned in my short time of being married that God created women to be sexual beings also and that He designed sex to be pleasurable for both the husband and wife. All three of the above lies are myths often perpetuated by a naive, uninformed church. This is why I firmly believe as the Body of Christ we need to take back the word “sex” and allow God to redeem it, inform us through His Word, encourage our married couples to enjoy it to the fullest, encourage our unmarried friends to wait for it, and ask God to bless the sexual union between husbands and wives.
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