Few activities offer the immediate and meaningful impact of writing a romantic love letter to your spouse.
It makes your spouse feel special, and it expresses your emotions in a format that creates a very personal keepsake. And for you couples working toward financial freedom, it’s totally free!
If you are like me, the idea of writing a romantic letter to a loved one brings back memories of my high school days.
I wrote a lot of late night love letters (as my Mom teasingly called them) during my teenage years, and I actually got pretty good at it. At least that’s what my girlfriend (and fortunately now my wife) tells me.
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Sounds Great, So Where’s My Letter?
So, why don’t we write more romantic letters after we get married? We know they’ll be appreciated and score us major points. It doesn’t take long to do, it’s free and it’s a simple way to add some fun and romance to your marriage.
As I thought about why I don’t write to my wife as much as I should, I realized that the thought seems just overwhelming enough to continually put it off. And this is coming from a guy who routinely writes in-depth posts here at Engaged Marriage.
[Note: If you’re interested in crafting the perfect love letter and making it super easy, be sure to check out our announcement at the end of this post.]
I decided I needed to write a post about “How to Write a Romantic Letter.” After I jotted down some thoughts, I was stoked to discover that my simple approach to creating an awesome love letter fits into a series of five “R” tips. Here you go!
The Simple “5R” Approach to Romantic Letter Writing
1. Relax
When it comes to writing a love letter, there is no pressure and no need to be verbose or intellectual. A simple and heartfelt approach is the way to go. Think about those high school notes, and try to be that pure and straightforward with your writing style.
2. Reflect
Here’s some great news. The toughest part of writing a great letter is finding a few quiet minutes to sit and think about your spouse. And you know that will be a good time. Perhaps you can both do some individual thinking during your 15 minutes one evening.
It’s nice to have a simple theme to provide a framework for your letter. If it’s an occasion like a birthday, think of the fantastic memories you’ve shared over the past year. On an anniversary, compare your crazy first year of marriage to the current, even closer state of your relationship.
Of course, the best results are likely to come from a letter written “just because”, and I think this is a sweet opportunity to tell the story of your first date or engagement from your perspective (think emotions, expectations and excitement). Tell your spouse why you fell in love with them and why they’re even better today.
Affirm your spouse and you’ll create real joy.
3. Rough it Out
If you haven’t written much in a while, or even if you have, it’s really helpful to jot down your raw thoughts. When you are thinking through your theme (first date, her smile, his masculinity), just quickly write down the phrases that come to mind. This will allow your creativity to flow more than you’d expect, and it will help you get your thoughts straight.[quote]
All you have to do is arrange these phrases, throw in a few words to connect them, and you will have the workings of an awesome romantic letter.
4. Write…with Your Hand!
In today’s electronic world, it is tough to imagine writing a letter by hand. The thought actually makes my hand cramp a bit. But trust me, a handwritten romantic letter will be super impressive!
The medium you choose to write on is really not important aside from helping to set the mood you’re trying to create. It could be construction paper, a yellow pad or some fancy foil-embossed paper. Seriously, anything can work.
Now, if your handwriting is truly illegible, you may be forced to type out your thoughts (unless you can read your own writing and follow tip #5 as suggested). In that case, you should go for some nice paper and a cool font to add a personal touch.
5. Recite
Here’s where your romantic letter goes to the next level. Read it aloud to your spouse.
My wife and I wrote several letters to one another as part of a recent marriage retreat, and that was cool. However, the real magic came in the delivery when we read our thoughts to each other. You won’t believe how much better your feelings come through in this way.
If this just isn’t feasible in your situation, do something creative with the delivery to form a lasting memory. Mail the letter (I did this as precursor to the night I proposed to Bethany). Hide it someplace where it will be found at an unexpected time. Have it delivered to your spouse’s work along with a single rose or a cool picture of you together having fun.
It is time. Take the motivation you feel right now and start to jot down your thoughts. Follow through with a heartfelt romantic letter and deliver in an awesome way. Your spouse, and you, will be so glad that you did.
How would you like to have the perfect letter written FOR YOU?
If you love the idea of writing a love letter to your spouse, but you’d like some help, I have good news for you.
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In fact, as a special bonus, we even give you proven fill-in-the-blank love letter templates that literally do the heavy lifting for you! If you can play Mad Libs, you can create a personalized letter that touches your spouse’s heart.
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I “courted” my wife on the internet. My love letters were emails!
.-= Brian Killian´s last blog ..Chastity: The Road Not Taken =-.
Very cool! Obviously, you must have been a great writer. And in that case, I forgive you for not writing it out by hand. 🙂
Awesome idea! I think men especially need to be encouraged to try this. We women go crazy for this stuff! I like the idea of mailing it to your spouse, especially if he/she is usually the one to check the mail. There’s nothing like receiving a hand-written card or letter in the mail; and I can imagine it’s twice as nice when it’s from your own spouse, who could have told you those things in person, but decided to go the extra mile to make it memorable.
One of the easiest love letters for me to write my husband is a list of the Top Ten reasons why I love him. I try to include things about his appearance, his personality, his skills, and his masculinity. Who couldn’t use an ego boost every once in a while?
Thanks for these tips!
Thanks, Kathleen! I totally agree with everything you said. I know I could certainly use an affirming letter sometimes. 😉
I love all the good ideas! I might try this out soon!
Thanks Aimee! If you try it, you’ll like it. Guaranteed.
Great tips. It is important to connect on a regular basis and sending a letter is always a pleasant surprise!
Yeah Ron, when my wife read this post, she said she’d rather receive a letter in the mail than have me read it aloud to her. Go figure! But we have been there and done that on the reading idea, so it doesn’t hold the uniqueness aspect that it might otherwise.
Very useful tips! My handwriting is truly embarrassing these days. Should start to practice writing with pen every day for 10 mins at least.
.-= Love Quotes Romantic´s last blog ..Love Quotes Romantic Music – Don McLean, Crying =-.
Thanks! It’s sad that my 4-year-old’s handwriting is sometimes better than my own. I was never much for penmanship, but it’s gotten ridiculous after several years of working at a computer.
Just completed hand-writing a letter to my fiancee’ who turns 28 tomorrow. Though my penmanship is awful, my thoughts were heartfelt. We’ll see what she says.
Awesome, man! I’m going out on a limb here to say that I bet she loved it and didn’t mind your handwriting one bit. Let us know about her reaction!
I was reading your post on Problogger and decided to check your site out. It is amazing that you’ve built such an active community! I also like the fact that you interact with every comment…though I wonder where you find the time!
I am commenting here because a love letter is a nearly lost art form. I have done a free e-book with some ideas for love letters and have written a TON myself. My significant other is in Kuwait and has been for about 7 months. He’s not military but works as a civilian supporting the military. I despise that this was the only work he could find in our economy but its definitely made me find new ways to show I care, and my various love letters are hopefully doing that well!
Another great thing one can do is make or find stationary online to print out. I have dabbled in making some myself, and printed it on color paper. I’ve had some great results and some “could have been better ones”. There are a decent number of free to download stationary out there.
Awesome points in this post. I hope everyone who is inspired to write will pay special attention the the point about it being heart felt. It doesn’t need to be a 10 page opus or even full of flowery turns of phrase…heartfelt will make your words flow perfectly for you.
.-= Gurl´s last blog ..Gurl Needs YOU! =-.
Thanks so much for visiting and commenting, Gurl! I hope we can now count you among the awesome community here as well. 🙂
It definitely sounds like a tough situation having your significant other in the Middle East for 7 months. I pray that he arrives safely back to you real soon. I’m sure he’s overjoyed each time he receives one of your heartfelt letters and feels that connection back to you and his home. There’s really nothing like it.
I love your suggestions on the free online stationery! And I also hope everyone that sees this takes the time to write a short, simple, sweet letter to the love of their life.
Thanks again, Gurl!
I completely second mailing the letter! While we were dating my husband and I lived about 2 hours apart and wrote each other letters constantly. Every time a letter came in the mail my heart would skip a beat and I would get butterflies in my stomach. I just know I would get that exact same feeling if he did that now, even though it’s been 6 years since we were mailing each other letters.
This simple “5R” approach is good and practical but you must be a good writer and not everyone is a good writer.
Someday when time passes and our age begins to show upon our faces, may you know that once in a small town lived a southern girl whose heart was only stolen once by a northern man older than she. His voice spoke often to her for two whole years. She remembered his stories told of his native father. She remembered his face as she first saw it at the airport in Missoula Montana. The week we spent together was more than she could have ever imagined of love in her life. Though, she has it no more wearing her heart upon sleeve, all that left when he leaves. She knows she will never endure such a feeling. Her southern life as kept her captive, and him in his as freely an eagle that flies for distances into the setting sun. She remembers and imagines still the stillness of the valley he had taken her to at castle rock. The cold cold winter, the touches of his hand so warm in hers. The sadness of not feeling anything more in her life. It has past her now and he will never know her loss. He will never know that golden streets are not gold, that only sunset’s that linger in her mind give her the satisfaction of once feeling loved.Never again ..never more.
Lovely tips. I will give a try and see what happens.
Great idea writing a love letter. For our 5yrs wedding anniversary, I couldnt think of anything better to give my husband other than a letter to him. Sometimes we dont say it too well with words, put it into writting and share it with the world too!!
Here is a link to the letter – http://bukville.com/2010/10/15/adey-my-crown-joy/
Great Article. We many times loose sight of the little things. Many times in life those are the things that are the most memorable, and the most appreciated. I really enjoyed this and plan to write mine today!
Loved your article. My husband is active duty military, so during deployments and extended trainings away from home, I’ve become quite good at writing letters. It takes a couple tries to “knock the rust off” your skills, but I found it to be one of my most precious activities while he is gone. Also, nothing brightens my day more than opening the mailbox and seeing a letter from him. I guess I never stopped to consider that when your spouse is home all the time, there really isn’t an explicit need for letter writing. But I agree with you– you should try it anyway!
Here’s an idea for you that I did a couple of years ago. I think it was for our 25th anniversary. We had a box in the attic with some old love letters and wedding memorabilia. I went through the box and retrieved all the old letters and put them in a book and presented it to my wife as part of an anniversary gift. It was fun looking at all the old letters together. I have to admit, though, that writing letters to my wife now is something I should be doing and I know she’d love it. Thanks for the reminder. Now, where’s my pen?
I still have every love letter and love journal that my boyfriend (now husband) wrote to me. The letters themselves are written in pen or pencil and on notebook paper, but the journal is my favorite. He went all out with a black leather(fake leather) journal, all of his writing in cursive with an ink well and quill pen and in very neat penmanship told me our story of how we met and all of his feelings from his side of the story. It had to be one of the best things I’ve ever received from him.