Your spouse provides comfort, acts as an accountability partner, and is able to contribute a different perspective.
They are able to help ground you when you start to wind up and encourage you when you start dragging your feet.
They can link arms with you to step forward as one into opportunities and help you move in a different direction when you are no longer a fit with your employer.
Your spouse pecks at you constantly, wearing down your enthusiasm and joy and spreads a pessimistic point of view.
They are able to make you question all you do and encourage you to be distrustful and disdainful of your employer.
They see the worst in you and everyone and can become an anchor that drags you down in every area.
To paraphrase Aristotle, The whole—i.e. marriage—is greater than the sum of its parts.
Dave Ramsey of Financial Peace understands this and makes marriages—and your finances—an integral part of the hiring process.
Author Michael Hyatt puts a great deal of weight on the marital relationship as well when making decisions on a potential new team member.
Can you imagine being scheduled for a job interview and being asked to bring your spouse along to be part of the Q and A?
How about as part of the process, you are asked to provide a copy of your personal budget, too?
Does that stop you in your tracks?
I know it gives me pause, even though our family budget is in order and we have been happily married for thirty years.
A couple of steps in the hiring process at Dave Ramsey’s company:
One of the last steps you should take before a hire is an interview with the candidate and his/her spouse. The spouse will tell you pretty quickly whether the position will really work for the family.
Each candidate at Dave’s company sends in their personal budget during the interview process to ensure they can support their family on what we’re paying for that position. You don’t want to hurt someone’s family by allowing them to take a position they can’t afford. Besides, broke and desperate people do not make good team members.
Michael Hyatt adds to the conversation:
I like to take a person and their spouse to dinner before hiring. I want to see how they treat the wait staff and how they relate to one another.
I have stopped the hiring process cold a few times as a result of what I observed in these situations. I remember one time Gail kicked me under the table, because she had picked up on something I had missed. Her concern was corroborated by our reference checks, which were already in motion. This exercise saved us from what would have been a disastrous hire.
Simply put, how you behave speaks louder than your words, and in Ramsey’s case, how and where you choose to spend your money speaks volumes about your priorities.
These two leaders use this additional information to get the best fit possible for both their organizations and the potential team members.
1. Improve your marital communication. Dustin has terrific resources here, which include a recommendation to read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The book helped my marriage—and my relationship with my daughters—and I’ve written a quick reference to get you started: Five Secret Paths to the Heart of Your Family.
2. Create a Marriage Mission Statement. Dr. Ann writes, “A marriage mission statement helps us to focus on how we want our marriage to bear fruit. Even when day-to-day living is mundane or difficult, a mission statement keeps our eyes focused on a greater prize. And it strengthens the teamwork between you and your spouse.” She shares the how-to here.
3. Get your finances in order. It’s easier when your communication is clear and you headed in the same direction. Click here to get started. Remember that gratitude plays an important part in your finances and your marriage regardless of where you are in your journey.
And that is what Dave Ramsey and Michael Hyatt know: People who intentionally cultivate strong marriages bring the fruits of those relationships—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—to their careers and help them flourish as well.
Question: How has your marriage—for better or worse—played a part in your career?
Original image credit: Freddie Peña
Kim Hall created Too Darn Happy to help you build stronger and more joyful relationships through offerings of fresh perspectives and practical advice. Having been a wife for thirty years and a mom for almost as long to two daughters, she also shares occasional cautionary tales of her own character building life experiences. Kim recently authored her first ebook, Practicing Gratitude and Discovering Joy-Thirty Days to a Happier You. You can connect with Kim on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest, too!