Has earth shaking, bed breaking sex turned into a Saturday night snooze fest, or a quickie between taking the dog to the vet and picking the children up from school?
Even though sex is an absolutely critical part of a healthy and happy marriage, many women are losing interest in intimacy with their husbands.
Why does it happen even in the happiest of marriages?
When women lose interest in their husband, it’s not typically because of the things he might think (change in appearance, etc). After conducting personal research and reading many letters from people around the world, three problems seem to remain common. Women said their waning interest in sex was related to the low overall satisfaction in life, institutionalizing the relationship, and being de-sexualized.
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So if these are the reasons why wives lose interest in their hubsands, we need to ask: what does all this mean, and how can we change it?
Top 3 Reasons Why Wives Lose Interest in Sex With Their Husband
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Low Overall Satisfaction From Life
The reason women lose their libido is often unrelated to relationship issues.
Women can be very happy with their spouse, but not so much with their lives in general. They regularly feel stressed, overloaded with work, and simply bored with their predictable life as a married woman.
Many women don’t realize that this general unhappiness and boredom is the reason behind their libido being so low. A boring sex life is just a part of overall life routine.
Many females admit that there was a lot of desire when they were dating. They were upset when the “honeymoon” was over and regular life problems occurred, moving away the excitement. With both partners working outside of the house, it is no surprise that marital sex has suffered. After working all day, there is little time to do anything else but eat and sleep.
Most women don’t have enough time, and sex becomes not one of their top priorities. What’s more, married women have a hard time with the two different, yet demanding roles that are expected from them.
Going from mommy to vixen is quite difficult. Women of young children often feel over-touched or on a sensory overload and therefore, the idea of her husband wanting to touch her later that night is totally rejected.
When was the last time you dated your spouse?
I don’t mean spending time watching TV with her, but really DATE your partner. Put a thrill of excitement into your relationship by doing something unusual with your wife. Make sure that someone is taking care of your kids, so she can relax and spend quality time with you.
Take her for a diner or a short trip out of town, so she can remind herself of the old sweet times when you will still dating. Let her forget about everyday issues and rediscover your passion.
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Lack Of Excitement
At some point marital sex is too socially sanctioned, sanitized, and women are absolutely tired of the same old routine.
Since they have been married, wives know exactly how their husband is going to touch them, they know how much their spouses love them and they are not embarrassed to take their clothes off. There’s a comfort there that is important to people which is a crucial part of any happy marriage. On the other hand, this lack of adventurousness is followed by a diminishing of desire.
Biologically speaking, desire is fueled by the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine levels rise in response to anticipation and excitement.
Knowing what comes next, the brain and other essential body parts say “why bother?” and the level of excitement isn’t there. The women miss the early days of dating with its flirting and uncertainty, which brought a lot of happiness. Stagnant romance and sex is a buzz kill.
Spice up your sex life with new positions, different places to make love, and mastering foreplay. It’s also helpful to take better care of yourself.
When was the last time you went to a gym? I’m sure your wife loves you as you are, but surely you will appear more irresistible to her if you take better care of your body.
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Feeling Unattractive
Female desire is somewhat complicated; they want something more than just intimacy. They want to feel needed and wanted.
Most women are not comfortable with their anatomy especially when they are naked. Women who are uncomfortable with themselves masturbate less and have less sex. Their libido has left the building! Only about 29% of women actually achieve an orgasm while having sex, compared to the 75% of men who achieve orgasm.
If more women felt sexually attractive, they might find sex more gratifying and not just another chore that has to be completed. Make sure that your wife knows how much you love her and how beautiful she is. This alone keeps most wives from losing interest in their husbands.
Realistically speaking, marital love does not mean nonstop hot sex. If more people realized that, then perhaps there would not be such an obsession with sex.
Sex is an expression of love, the sooner we learn to respect, and treat it as such, the sooner we will be able to enjoy it more.
I’m Sarah Williams.
I’m a writer that is passionate about psychology. After several relationships and a LOT of dates, I would like to share my honest female perspective about dating with you on my Wingman Magazine. After all, I’m just a hopeless romantic trying to figure it all out.
I’m Sarah Williams.- RELATED: The Joys Of Boredom
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I’m sorry, but this is wrong! All married women whose husbands desire them and I mean all, lose sexual interest in their men to a great degree and some lose their desire for him altogether. Many believe they have lost all desire, but that will be short lived. A woman soon finds it is just her husand she no longer desires. My wife suffers from none of the above, yet her drive has gone down considerably. She loves me very much and is clueless herself as to why, but it has.
The best thing to do is engage in sex with your husband anyway, he needs it to feel loved in the same way a woman needs affection , needs him to listen to her or needs quality time with him.
If you are a woman, imagine how you would feel if you came for a hug and he said he was not in the mood for a hug. You want him to sit and talk with you and he says, I’m not in the mood to listen to you tonight. You come for a kiss and he turns his head. That is how he feels when you say no! It is emotionally devastating to a man when the love of his life says no. He feels rejected, undesirable and unloved by her. Men need their women to want them sexually to feel loved by her. Women do not understand sex for a man is an absolute need!
Plus, women who do engage in sex with their husbands almost always end up enjoying it anyway, it’s as if the pump needs primed to run good. My wife has sex with me regularly even though she is often not in the mood when we start. She always says after starting it gets good.
Not staying sexually active sets you and your husband up for an affair! If you cut him way down or cut him off, you have no right to complain when another honey is more than willing to meet his needs, and yes, it is a need for him!
I am currently writing a book on marriage and this subject is covered in detail. There are answers!
I would be happy to respond to anyone wanting to understand this better.
Although I don’t agree in the terms you have put ” you have no right to complain when another honey is more than willing to meet his needs”, I do agree it sets your marriage up for either divorce or an affair. You make some great points in your reply. I am definitely interested in reading more. Please share your book
To Kevin Foster,
That’s a pretty bold statement to say that “all married women lose sexual interest in their men” when you cannot possibly look into the lives of every woman or relationship. What are you basing your findings on?
I also highly disagree with your statement to “have sex with your husband anyway” when the woman does not have the desire. I can tell you personally that by doing engaging in sex when I didn’t want to… did not end up in a happy marriage. I figured out that bedroom issues had nothing to do with sexual desire, it had to do with the fact that I was not happy with the balance in my own life and I needed to work on spending more quality time on myself rather than caring for everyone else. It is impossibly to work on a healthy relationship when one person in the relationship is not feeling mentally healthy. Telling someone to have sex with their husband when they don’t have the desire to, is idiotic.
So I guess telling me to get up and go to work in order to support my family – even though I don’t feel like it, is also idiotic…
Well there’s a term for every time a man engages in sex with an unwilling wife. It’s called spousal rape. And it doesn’t hurt necessarily. I know because I have had to give in to my husband’s pressure and manipulation in order to avoid a fight and him treating me like crap.
Going to work is a duty you will do even if you are not married. Sex is a way of showing many feelings and affection. That isn’t a duty. Nobody should have to engage in sex to just satisfy a partner. It is rape. let’s not sugarcoat it.
In our case, my wife has gone through some medical concerns….to the point that intercourse has become way too painful for her. I could happily live out my days without the penetration (oral and mutual masturbation would be great), however she has lost all interest.
She will act very horny all day then fall asleep in the evening and totally forget our plans to fool around. I have tried to get her to see a doctor about it, told her I would be willing to attend couple’s councilling, made suggestions about new ideas,……everything but to no avail. We deeply love each other and have for the past 10 years, but I need to have a physical relationship with someone. Call me selfish or a chauvinistic pig, or whatever but I am human and can’t take the frustration much more. Last time we talked about it, I told her all this and asked how she would feel about letting me get the physical attention somewhere else. To my suprises, she shrugged her shoulders and said “I wouldn’t like it but would understand”. Now, some might think having a ‘hall pass’ is terrific, but I don’t want that……I want her to find her desire again.
What would others suggest?
I have been married 10 years to my wife. I know she loves me but sometimes she acts so strange. I am completely unsatisfied sexually. It’s not the quality its the quantity. I have to take care of myself most of the time. I guess I understand, but I just don’t think a marriage should be this way. I shouldn’t have to suffer. She also does weird things that makes me think she might be interested in someone else or possibly thinking about or maybe messing around. I go to counseling and keep encouraging her to come with me but she acts like she never has time. It’s like I always come last behind everyone and everything else. It really sucks!
I would like to disagree. To make a counter respective consider the larger evolutionary pressures. Men have a genetic predisposition to mate for a longer period of their lives to increase their offspring. Survival of the fittest. Women on the other hand have a predisposition to nurture their children to increase their chances of survival. Survival of the fittest. All this conversation is around two sides of the same coin and your articles attempt to whitewash the real causes is a disservice to everyone. This is how nature crafted our species, and we must recognize our true nature to understand ourselves.
Hello. This has been a problem between Man and Woman for thousands of years. I can’t get my head around how such a simple solution to a problem can’t be resolved by both parties co-operating and working together in achieving happiness on both sides of the fence. I’m tired of the same old un met needs that exist in marriages. Maybe,just maybe, the creation of Man being for Woman, and Woman being for Man was a big mistake because the amount of sexual suffering that goes on in marriages is ridiculous and will ” NEVER” be resolved. Amen!
I am a married man. Me and my wife had sex almost everyday when we met. sometimes 2 and 3 times a day. In 2012 i had prostate cancer. Me and my wife had a counseling session with doctor. We agreed to have my prostate removed, but will take my wife to keep me sexually active until i get to normal. We got married October that same year and to this day she will not cuttle with me, tease me or let me do the same to her. I have to take care of myself and it’s getting frustrating that my wife will not touch me! She now takes a shower and hide herself when she dress up. She walked in on me taking care of myself (My Intentions) that she would get involved with me knowing my needs. She Looked at me, smiled, asked what I was doing? After telling her doing what she agreed to me and my doctor what she would help me do, but not doing she left the house to go to her mother house! It’s been almost a year now and no sex, no cuttling, no interest in me. All her time on Candy Crush, her friends, facebook! I truely believe she is interested in someone else. I’m not going to look for it!
I gave up on this subject a long time ago. The loneliness and frustrations are killing me, but I made a promise to my son; Daddy will always be there….
Women are very percetive creatures, but they do like sex. That is the truth. If she stops having sex with you after marriage is because she is unsatissfied. A woman hates shitty sex, I mean she get all worked up for nothing? If she is not satisfied she won’t want sex anymore. The hard truth, sorry boys.
I get so sick of hearing about how much the woman does and all the man does is go to work? and I have it even in my own marriage. I will admit my wife works, does more with my daughter and does more around the house. However, my contribution involved a one hour drive into the city, a ten hour day and tons of stress. I am in an extremely high stress, mentally draining jobs…which also pays alot of money! Of course…all that she does is draining her? I think if you have no respect in a relationship you have nothing…it will end. And from my perspective or in her eyes…what I do is just expected and what she does is supose to be the reason we do not have sex!
The reality is that when a woman settles for a “beta provider” male (after numerous failed attempts to try and domesticate an alpha male, she has lost sexual interest in him before the marriage ceremony is over. The “excitement” that women crave is the excitement about being taken by an alpha male who they cannot control or get to commit to them. Why should he? He doesn’t even need to buy dinner to have sex.
The beta-male “courts” a woman (shows her than he can pay for expensive food and outings six months running, and buy her gifts and flowers) so he can prove that he is a financially worthy suitor. She is marrying his status and his income. The idea that *most* women out earn men in marriages or support them outright is hogwash offered to us by feminists trying to declare a false victory. The bottom line is that the MAJORITY of women marry up. If anything, women are complaining that men are not marriageable now, because they have degrees and careers and the common tradesman can no longer eclipse her earnings by the requisite 50% or more. Every couple I know, he’s making more more money. It happens – because she plans in that way.
So what happens? She secures the man in marriage, and the sex goes to hell simply because she was not interested in him primarily for sex in the first place. He was not her first choice. The alpha male who she shared with 10 other women, none of whom could get him to commit, is the one she wanted.
If a woman is not sexually interested in a man without some “paid prostitution” arrangement (known as courtship and marriage) then you can be assured that the sex will quickly wane after the honeymoon period. Women falsely believe they can snare an alpha male and convert him into an alpha-beta hybrid and have the best of both worlds – a sexually attractive long term provider. (Read the other comments – a man has a DUTY to provide for her, yet she has no duty to satiate his sexual desires.) This has been the cruel joke mother nature has played on women since the dawn of time. The irony is that even if she could domesticate an alpha male, she would lose interest in him sexually almost immediately.
For there to be good sex, the women has to be in the process of trying to domesticate the man. Once she does this, the man is no longer sexually appealing to her. Women really do want only what they can’t have or what another woman have. Often we will hear less sophisticated women confirm this notion that all men, in one form or another, pay for sex. When a woman says “I want a relationship – he’s not getting sex for free!” this is direct proof that she considers the relationship as a framework in which the man can have sex. If he does not give her the things she wants him to provide in the “relationship” (deal), he doesn’t get “the sex”.
Women use sex as currency, and as bait.
Marriage is a perverse form of prostitution where a man thinks he’s signing up for a lifetime of sexual access, when in fact he’s lucky to get monthly ovulation sex after the honeymoon period.
Men: keep her pining for that ring. So long as she is, you’ll get nice sex. If you give her the ring, she has no longer any reason to bait on the hook.
This advice of ‘dating’ your wife is not going to relight the fire. The idea you can re-create the excitement of courtship when she was trying to snare you is a massive lie – she *has the ring* and the mortgage and 2.1 kids and dog and fish. She’s unhappy because she HAS IT ALL and there is nothing to pine after anymore. For example, most women go into depression after their wedding because for two years they did nothing but excitedly plan a $50,000 party where they are the star of the show, which is a grande ball, featuring a princess in white.
Well, that’s enough Red Pill truth for you fine folks today. You can now resume your diet of blue-pill and feminist nonsense explaining why sex wanes in marriage because HE is not meeting her emotional needs and not exciting her tingly bits anymore.
Ah, the libido-drained depressed fretting housewife…
Happy wife happy life? NO WIFE happy life! 🙂
Men are slowly wising up. Google:
“Where have all the good men gone”
“Marriage strike”
“No more marriageable men”
“Women represent 60% of university graduates”
“Never-married people at historical high”
This is all wrong. As a woman, I’m going to give men advice as to the real reason(s) women lose interest in sex.
1) We do not get the instant gratification a man gets from sex as there is no such thing as a vaginal orgasm or the g spot (doctors agree there is no such thing) – there is only the clitoris which is located on the outside – away from the vagina. Basically, there is no contact with the clitoris during sex so women get absolutely NOTHING out of doing it, we just go through the motions. All women fake orgasms to soothe the male ego and so it will be over with quickly; anyone saying otherwise is a big, fat liar. So basically, our sexual needs are only met when we take care of it ourselves. This is a design flaw and nothing we as women or men can do about it. Basically women think: why bother when it only benefits him. (I’m not blaming this on men, it’s just the way it is.) If there is a god, he/she did a crappy job on the female design on sex fulfillment and we should have been given superior upper body strength to fend off rapists and attackers. Bad design all around.
2) The most important reason women lose interest in sex is that we take care of everything. We work full time, cook, clean, do yard work, do laundry, do homework with the children, take care of the children and our man who seems to have lost all of his knowledge on how to care for himself once he marries. At this point, your wife views you as she does her children: someone she loves but not in a sexual way, but someone else she has to care for. It’s physically and mentally draining. All you want to do is crash at night and sex then becomes a chore…one more thing you have to get done, like the dishes. Not pleasurable, not painful just one more thing on your plate that your eldest child (aka husband) is whining about incessantly. This is why women don’t remarry after a divorce or death of a spouse. We just don’t have the strength to care for another person until our death and for once in our lives, want to do something for ourselves.
I agree with some points. But…she begged me to retire, then told me, literally nose to nose, that she wasn’t changing her routine for anybody, including me!? So for 9 long years since retiring, she’s had her alone time. No sex, hugging or anything. She was surprised on our 60th birthdays when I mentioned it, after having an epiphany about it all. She couldn’t believe it’d been that long!? And not wanting intimacy with me anymore was heartbreaking for me, to say the least. So I initiated a little foreplay, since I gained weight from a bad L2 disc & both hips bone-on-bone. She doesn’t even want that very often. Being a man, I need intimacy with the woman I consider my soulmate! We met in 1st grade in parochial school in the early 60’s. had lunch together for years, & I fell for her in 4th grade.
She drove back into my alley & my life in August, 1975. We got married to years later on 7/27. So it’s been awhile. I don’t know what to do while I try so hard to lose weight for hip replacement. Can’t afford all those expensive proteins on a retiree’s pay. It hurts so bad to go through all this. She insists she loves me…but at the same time, doesn’t desire more than holding hands while watching TV?!We go out to dinner when we can afford it, which isn’t often beyond tax return time. IDK what else to do!???
Hi. Everyone has a valid point when it comes to relationships. When my husband and i dated, it was fun and it was challenging also bcus we lived in 2 different states. We were both on active duty. Now 10 years later we are still together. We’ve been married for 9 years. I can say that when it comes to sex, it is true that there are those days when I feel burdened by life and can’t seem to get into it with my husband but I am sure to let him know that it’s not him its other things. I’ve had 3 children and sometimes the daily routine of kids and the stress of everyone needing you can be draining, however I adore my family. I also have those days where Im waking my husband up with sex and its awesome bcus he totally doesn’t expect it. Our life and family have had struggles of all kinds but I love my husband with all my being and he loves me too. For some of you on this blog it may take sitting down and sorting out the things that don’t make you happy and discussing that with your mate. If they are selfless and care they will meet you halfway, if not then there needs to be some sort of compromise on their part. And if you are truly unhappy then you may have to walk away. For you fellas, women do have emotional struggles than make it hard to engage in sex and they don’t want to go in halfway. When I cant get into it with my husband I don’t force myself bcus I dont think it’s fair to go into it without my whole heart being in it. Men you are worth it so dont just get into sex with a woman whose heart is not in it. Sure it will feel good but inside you may not be truly satisfied.
And to prove to some that there r good women out there, if my husband and I were ever to split, I wouldn’t blame him, I would blame myself. I would see divorce as my failing to be what I needed to be for my husband and my children.
God bless you all!!!
I’m trying to find out why I don’t want sex with no one ya I have to kids and job and depression and more but my problems started to happen after my 2 short of birth control I stopped get birth control because of weight problem I don’t want my husband to leave me though
Well i have tried the “different positions, dating, flowers randomly, compliments, surprises, the list goes on and on! i have a very high sex drive and like most men am very visual. My wife of 24 years together over twenty eight has spent her lifetime filling her head with crap! Soap operas, romance novels, AOL, Facebook, you got the picture. It was like dragging an anchor around all the time! Unbelievably exhausting! Traveled, tried everything you could imagine. She ended up just like her mother just missing the coffee and cigarettes! Overstimulated! Instead of putting her energy into the relationship, she put it into everything else. These women today are so obsessed with being busy they don’t have, make or desire the time for a relationship.They want to “pencil you in”! Always running and you just become a piece of meat on the treadmill with them! There are some hormonal issues and i see it with her. I have studied everything about her and I KNOW what is the problem, it is what I mentioned. Even as young women they look for a host to “eat sushi, jump out of airplanes,excessively traveling, drinking wine,listening to podcasts, being a wanderlust, blah, blah, blah”! Men are not interested in playing their game! They all mention they “don’t want just sex” what else would you want with these women? They riddle their bodies with disgusting ink (that really looks attractive especially down the road) most are really overweight, the bare legged trend, (which the copper colored dye that runs down their leg when they sweat is also really attractive) but wearing a pair of stockings isn’t attractive? The no makeup face when they are home but get all done up when they go out? Women used to dress and act to attract men, now the do these screwed up thing s to attract women? Every guy wants a woman with a battleship tattooed on her chest! LOL What’s next? Lip discs? It is very rare to see an attractive woman now a days. Most men are not attracted to their wives today, WHY? I talk to them everywhere, soccer, lunch, bars, the same answers. The women say there are no “good men” out there. There are a few. But I also know quite a few successful younger men that want nothing to do with the women here anymore. WHY? Once you commit to them they jump on the railroad tracks toward their agendas. So to answer the question why they have no sex drive? It’s because they preoccupy themselves with all the other crap and put no effort into their marriages. It is beyond them to wear something sexy, take their nice work clothes off as soon as they get home, no perfume, bland or no makeup, look like an old hag! Put some effort into their relationship, both should make each other FIRST!!!! Not the dog, father, mother,sister, women’s group, neighbor,PTA, friend that is experiencing some sort of drama, etc. The relationships that I see that works this is exactly what they do! They abandon the man then he is a cheater. Like my father used to say….. Why? I have told countless women this and some have heeded the warnings, and have good families. most men won’t cheat if they are getting what they want at home. I can still remember some really cool things my wife has done. i was working on this boat at our house and she climbed up into the boat and just sat there in her stockings, skirt heels,made up, perfume, while I worked and I made a mistake that she caught, and said you never make mistakes working on stuff. I said ” because you distracted me. That is the power women COULD have. And that was years ago and I remember it very vividly! WHY? It was selfless and very thoughtful, the essence of a woman. So there you have a REAL opinion.
You are all right and you are all wrong. It’s true, men are women are naturally different, want different things. Women are complicated creatures, hormonal and unpredictable even to themselves. There is a unsormoutable gap between marriages.
This is all true. So it all comes down to love and trying. It comes down to abolishing selfishness from your life and thinking of your spouse’s needs FIRST. Even if they don’t make sense to you. If you both do that, the marriage has a chance. Otherwise it’s over, be it divorce, or just living with someone you can’t stand anymore.
You are a man. Men think that sex is everything. The next woman he cheats with will start yo feel the same way the ex wife feels because most women want to be turn on in our mind. Dude you and my man are tripping
My wife loves me I’m pretty sure as she says but lately when she started her new job seems like she’s been less into me then before and also sometimes comes later than usual. I don’t know maybe it’s me or maybe it’s nothing but my head is confused
I’ve been married to my wife for 15 years we have kids ages 6 & 9. We have not had sex since she was pregnant 7 years ago. It has killed me since she barely wants to touch me or be close to me. I am constantly getting the third degree saying I do nothing around the house or how I am lazy. She does the cooking and I do as much as I can cleaning yard work grocery shopping but it seems that is doing nothing. I think most men would have either cheated or divorced over not getting any after certain amount of time . I ask her all the time let’s go out Get away from the kids but she always has an excuse. I have even had my own kids ask me why I don’t get a divorce. It doesn’t seem to matter to her how. Can we change this
I have to say after 20 years of marriage, I still absolutely love my wife. She loves me too (a lot), but in the last 10 years she has not been interested in sex at all. Like they say, I have sex as much as my wife wants me to…. which is none. The age old expression didn’t just happen.
I feel I haven’t changed one bit. I still have the drive and desire, but I won’t force myself on her. I have given her every opportunity. I feel if she really wanted sex, we’d have it. In fact, I feel that she is cheating me out of sex (not to be confused with actual cheating). We would never do that, cheat on each other.
We are old school. She is a homemaker, I am the breadwinner. It works out nice raising the family.
Sure, women have all sorts of other needs. Understandable. Men do too. I honestly don’t think men ask whole lot, at least in my case. I am simple and easy to please. I work hard every day in construction work. I don’t need a lot of money (I do make a decent pay however). I don’t ask for gifts or ask for much in general. A good meal, spending time with my wife, and some sex at least once in a while is living the dream for me. Is that so hard? Really? I do a lot of things I don’t like doing, but I do them. It make me feel like I am repulsive. I am at the point that I don’t find my wife sexually attractive anymore. Is that my fault? I honestly don’t think so. Am I ugly or displeasing? I don’t think so either. I have had many women make passes at me here and there, but I am not interest the least bit in them.
If this is the case with a lot of marriages, no wonder why so many men cheat and then end up with divorce. I see it all the time. It is what it is.
Telling men that the wife needs “special times” and “moments” and “caring” and so forth is good advice, but when you do that stuff already and she still doesn’t “put out”, it is just not the answer. Men just want sex once in a while, wIth their own wife. No mystery there. If I have to beg and groom my wife into having sex, I kind of don’t want it. I want here to want it. Wouldn’t that be nice? Maybe more cuddle time that she likes would would follow?
I apologize if this had sounded like a rant, but I see and hear this all of the time on the jobsite from other men, more often than most hear. Most of us workers live 20 years shorter than the average man, due to the exposures and hazardous of the work we do. Life is too short. I am 50 years old, active, look and feel healthy, but I know I most likely will be dead in 20 years, my wife will have a have my pension, social security, life insurance and a very huge retirement fund. She will be set and taken care of, that makes me happy. I want to live for today while it is here. I guess I am takeing “one for the team”.
Nah, the real reason they pretend to lose interest in sex is so they can manipulate the man. Come one, you all know it’s true. And the solution is very simple: Guys – stop initiating sex with your wife. Just don’t do it, ever. Learn to live without sex and you’ll regain all your power. Your wife will either divorce you or beg you for sex (which is really annoying, BTW). So either way you win.