4 Tips for Going Back to School…After You’re Married

Note: This is a guest post from Amanda Brown.

Getting a better education is stressful, and adding marriage into the equation can certainly take the stress level up a notch.

So what’s the best way to handle going back to school when you’re all grown up and married?

Here are four tips to help reduce stress, increase the marriage bond, and enable guilt-free time for your advanced degree and your marriage.

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1. Reduce Stress

There is a lot of pressure that married students have to balance, both with school and within their marriage.

TIP: Approach a college degree as a partnership.

No, that does not mean your spouse should do your homework. It means that going to school is not a personal project. It is a goal that will help both you and your spouse in the long run.

A degree means more opportunities for better jobs and higher salaries. That is a benefit you both receive. When you approach this as a team, there is less resentment and less stress. You both make sacrifices toward a better life.

2. Create a Chore Calendar

A strong marriage is full of rewards. Take advantage of every reward by working together. Your spouse is your biggest supporter. Let them be your motivation for doing well in school.

TIP: Create a calendar of everything that demands your time, including chores.

Major study time, projects, and test preparation should all be included on the calendar, as well as housework. The calendar helps you both see how much work needs doing and who will be doing it. If you want to measure equity, then initial who does what. Remember that getting any degree, such as a social worker degree, is a team project.

3. Build Together Time

Plan out your together time. This could include a date night when you are home together for dinner.

TIP: As you plan your school workload, schedule down time.

Use down time as together time, for both you and your spouse. This is an excellent time to build a stronger marriage. Another awesome tool is to do tiny, caring things like packing “I love you” notes in each other’s lunches. Make each note unique. Some suggestions include giving thanks to your spouse for helping with school.

Little reinforcements go a long way in building a strong marriage. The stronger your marriage is, the easier it will be to get through school.

4. Celebrate Achievements

Every semester comes with goals and obstacles. Those include midterms, finals and projects.

TIP: Chart out those obstacles and celebrate their achievements together.

If you approach going to school as a team project, then celebrate each achievement together. Make it part of your together time. Keep the celebrations on the simple and inexpensive side. Make victory cookies together or read poetry to each other.

Whatever you do, make it special. Save the expensive parties for when you graduate. When you are both grateful for an achievement, you erase negative emotions that may occur at stressful times.

Going back to school is a massive change for a married couple to go through, but you can do it. If you focus on being a couple and accomplishing the degree, then the victory that you celebrate is belongs to both of you.

You will each have contributed to the greater good of your marriage and improved your earning potential. 🙂

Note: This is a guest post from Amanda Brown.

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