DRAB Date NightsDating can be a lot of fun.

It’s a time when you spare no expense in having a good time with a special someone.

Many believe once you’re married you no longer have to date. After all, you live together, right? Wrong.

Dating gets better and better with age – like a fine wine.

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If you’ve tossed aside the idea of dating your spouse as not necessary in your marriage, then it’s as if you’ve taken the best of wines and poured it down the drain. If you’ve never tasted of it, you won’t know what you’ve missed.

But for those of us who have…we encourage you to take that first sip. You’ll see what we mean.

Tom and I have been married for 34 years. We waited for 3 years to begin our family and had a great time together before our son came along. We had 3 children in 4 short years, so there wasn’t a whole lot of romancing going on.

It was hard. But Tom has always taken the lead in the romance department.

Shortly after our third child was born, we found a 14 year old daughter of a friend who was wanting to start babysitting. We decided to give her a try, and were we ever glad we did!

She ended up being a part of our family. She took as much joy in letting us go out each week as we did in letting her watch our children. And our kids adored her! This made regular Monday night dates a wonderful possibility for us.

However, not everyone has a Michelle like we did. You could easily say there’s no way for us to enjoy dates and allow this to be your excuse. But there is another way!

On our blog, The Romantic Vineyard, we offer what we call D.R.A.B. date night ideas . They’re not what you think.

DRAB stands for Does Not Require A Babysitter.

We love having at-home date nights, and you might be surprised to know it doesn’t include watching a different movie each week. 🙂

This is a no-no for us. Dates are a time to connect on a more intimate level than watching a movie allows. And anyone can plan a movie night!

So here’s a quick list on how to plan a perfect date night IN:

•    Decide what theme you want to use.
•    Decide what food goes with your theme.
•    Decide one thing you can do to go along with your theme.
•    Don’t allow interruptions in your plans to stop you from going through with your date.

We recently had a Downton Abbey Date Night that was incredibly fun.

To begin with, Tom took on the role of Mr. Carsen and helped pick the wine, set the table and set the mood for our dinner. I took on the role of Mrs. Patmore by cooking an authentic British meal from the Edwardian period.

Once everything was ready, we changed clothes into something more formal.

I became the Countess of Grantham and Tom became the Earl. We played the theme station from the show on Pandora, lit the candles and had a great time together. If you don’t enjoy cooking, you could always improvise by picking up a ready-made meal from a favorite restaurant.

How is this date possible with children in the house? Simple. Let them be a part of planning this romantic evening.

Have them draw you place mats and decorate the table with hand-drawn flowers. Once they go to bed, your date can begin.

If you’ve not ever tried an at-home date, you may be tempted to think it’s hokey. May we encourage you to at least give it a try?

Tom used to think this way as well, until he realized how fun it was to just be together. We’ve made some great memories – which is one of the reasons we began blogging about romancing your spouse in the first place – one date at a time.

What DRAB dates have you done in your home and how did it help your marriage? If you’ve never planned one, would you take our challenge and at least try?

You might just discover a new favorite way to connect.


About the author 

Debi Walter

Tom and Debi Walter have been cultivating their romantic vineyard for most of their 36 years of marriage. It has been their conviction from the start. Now they are passionate about helping other couples discover the rich harvest of romance available to them no matter the current season. Through their marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard established in 2008, they provide regular posts about growing your marriage for God's glory.

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

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  1. Pingback: New Venture With Engaged Marriage | The Romantic Vineyard
  2. We do enjoy watching movies or TV shows together. It’s fun to laugh and discuss the movie together as we watch! And with TV shows, we like to chat during commercial breaks. Probably our favorite at-home date so far included a favorite wine, some nice cheeses, meat, and crackers, and watching Murder on the Orient Express!

    1. Katie, You’re right, movies at home can be very romantic. I’m glad you made this point, because one of my favorite DRAB dates Tom did for me. It was built around my favorite movie, You’ve Got Mail. Thanks so much for a great comment!

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