Here are three simple steps you can follow to bring the fire back in the bedroom:
Create A Spark
Think of this as striking the match. You want to subtly send the signal to your partner that you’re interested. You want that idea to smolder.
–Make eye contact. When was the last time you really looked into your partner’s eyes? Gazing into their eyes when you speak can be incredibly provocative.
–Use the sense of smell. Think candles, essential oils or perfume/cologne. Certain scents like cinnamon, lavender or even baby powder can be powerful aphrodisiacs.
A dab of your perfume or cologne may be all that is needed to evoke memories of past encounters.
Stir The Embers
You’ve sparked your partner’s interest. They know something is up. Now is the time to start stirring those embers and creating a sense of anticipation.
–Use the sense of touch. You want your partner to have the sensation of skin on skin but not in a sexual way – hold hands, brush his hair back from their eyes, a kiss on the forehead.
Touch triggers the release of powerful chemicals that enhance attraction and sensation.
–Trigger a subtle expectation for sex. Remind your partner of a time when the two of you were connecting. Leave a card with a special message in his or her briefcase. Send a text with a link to “your song”.
–Do the unexpected. Do something sweet and unexpected for your spouse. Send flowers for no reason. Cook their favorite meal. Share a glass of wine on the deck.
Fan The Flames
It’s time to fan those flames into a full-blown inferno! When you’re done there should be no doubt in your partner’s mind that you’re ready for action.
–Dress for success. For ladies, indulge in some lingerie that makes you feel sexy. Wear your hair a little differently. Men, the same goes for you. Find those boxers or briefs that give you all the manly feels.
Make sure the hair and beard are on point. Not only will these things signal to your spouse that you are receptive, it will also reinforce your own confidence. And confidence is always sexy.
–Be just a little naughty. One of the surest ways to fire up the interest and passion is to step out of your comfort zone. Do something a little different, a little edgy and just a little bit naughty. Send your love a provocative text or message.
Whatever you choose, remember that it’s an essential part of maintaining a deep, multi-faceted, empowering relationship with your partner.
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.
This is great advice. Something that helps marital passion and a healthy sex life is really important. I like the first point about creating a spark. It’s easy to get lazy and think sparks will just happen, but often you need to do something to keep that spark going.
