IMG_0629Tom and I have been through a lot this past month, and it has stretched us in ways we’ve not been stretched in a long time.

On March 20th, our 7th grandchild was born after waiting for two weeks for her to arrive.

This wouldn’t normally be difficult, but we live 7 hours apart. We were called in the beginning of March certain that this was the time. Since this was our daughter’s fourth baby, we felt certain she knew it really was time for her baby to come.We packed up in a couple of hours and drove north.

However, Brielle decided she didn’t want to come just yet. In fact, she waited two weeks, which meant we were at their home waiting for two weeks with them. Tom finally flew home because he had things he had to get done.

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You see, at the same time we were waiting for Brielle’s grand entrance into our lives, our son was in the process of moving his family 10 hours away.

He was going from a home 1 mile away from our house in Florida to Tennessee where he was to begin a new job as a copy editor for Dave Ramsey. Our emotions were all over the place, making romance a long lost memory.

We were exhausted, emotional and stretched beyond our ability to think clearly.

Romance. Had. To. Wait.

But I’m happy to say that after 35 years of romancing each other, our relationship is strong enough to wait. We didn’t take the delay personal. Our lives were in a state of transition. We knew we’d both be there for each other when the winds of change settled.

Today, I realized it was time for me to post here for Dustin on the Engaged Marriage blog. Honestly, my stored resources felt distant, but I am compelled by the Lord to share the importance of building romance into the foundation of your marriage.

It sustains us when our feelings wane or when our energy is zapped. We no longer feel the need to express our love in romantic ways for fear of it going away. We know what God has given us.

We know that it is good. And we are confident that when struggles comes our way, we will be ready to handle it, by the grace and kindness of God.

How has difficulty affected your romantic foundation?

Does it feel like your love is built upon a rock or upon sand?

What you choose to do day in and day out will determine the strength of your marriage when times become hard. It matters how you express your love each day. It matters how you communicate when life seems easy. It matters how you defer to one another out of love and respect.

Because hard times will come.

I’m so grateful to God for a husband who knows me well enough to help me through the stressful times without an expectation to be a certain way. I can collapse into his arms knowing I’m safe.

Husbands, I encourage you to be a refuge for your wife. This will do more to promote a healthy, romantic love than anything else.

Wives, I encourage you to listen to your husband when he is sharing his struggles with you. You are a team, and God has given you the privilege of helping him through it.

On the other side of such seasons there is more romance and love waiting that is deeper and sweeter than any you knew of before the struggle occurred. This is the foundation of romantic love and better yet, a lasting love that glorifies God.

I don’t want the month to pass without giving you some ideas for romance this time of year. Check out our Romantic Easter/Spring Ideas For Husbands and For Wives. They are posted separately so you can surprise each other if you would like. 🙂 Happy romancing!


About the author 

Debi Walter

Tom and Debi Walter have been cultivating their romantic vineyard for most of their 36 years of marriage. It has been their conviction from the start. Now they are passionate about helping other couples discover the rich harvest of romance available to them no matter the current season. Through their marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard established in 2008, they provide regular posts about growing your marriage for God's glory.

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

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