We have had the privilege of having our daughter along with her four children (ages 18 months to 8 years) stay with us this past week.
It has been fun, loud and wonderful, but when it comes to romance it has pretty much taken a back seat.
Especially since our 3 year old granddaughter sleeps on the little sofa in our bedroom while she’s here.
It made me rethink what it’s like to romance your spouse when you’re in the throes of raising small children.
Everyone is different when it comes to what romancing your spouse looks like in the various seasons of life.
Tom and I are planning to go out for a nice dinner tonight, since it’s our first night without lots of little people calling us “Papa” and “Nana”.
If your kids are like most, you or your wife most likely hear “Mommy!” more times than she can count, and that’s just before lunch! Kids can wear you down and drain you of any and all creative energy.
But. You Must.Reset…
…for the sake of your marriage and sanity!
Here’s a date idea you may enjoy so much that you plan these types of dates on a regular basis, and I pray that’s the case. Your marriage is that important!
Take time to reconnect on a regular basis by revisiting the place in your heart where the two of you fell in love. Remember that the choices you made then are what paved the way for your crazy, wonderful life today. It’s true what they say, “It all started when two people fell in love.”
To begin with make a list of the things you used to do before you had children.
Choose those things that are like snapshots in your mind of that season of life. Maybe you played a lot of tennis, or met together at a favorite coffee shop; maybe you enjoyed meeting at a favorite restaurant for a drink after work; or maybe you took long walks together. Whatever those moments are that you cherish–“recreate” some of those same dates again and see if it doesn’t (RE)ignite some fresh passion.
The only rule is–No talking about children, work, ministry or church activities. This is your time to recreate some romance–and no one else is allowed. I encourage you to leave your cell phone on silent as well. If you haven’t been this intentional lately, you may feel awkward, but don’t give up. It won’t be long until you’re both remembering what you love most about your spouse.
May this be the beginning of something not-so-new, but oh-so-good!
Until next month…
Tom and Debi Walter have been cultivating their romantic vineyard for most of their 36 years of marriage. It has been their conviction from the start. Now they are passionate about helping other couples discover the rich harvest of romance available to them no matter the current season. Through their marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard established in 2008, they provide regular posts about growing your marriage for God's glory.