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I don’t envy you on this one. With our first child, we used to spend hours driving around so he would go to sleep. We learned our mistakes with him and things were a lot easier with our other two children.
ReplyI have heard similar stories about driving around with colicky babies, Eric. Fortunately (*knock on wood*), we haven’t had to do anything that extreme with any of our babies. We’ve also learned along the way that babies get conditioned to sleeping with noise and lights around if you start early…so that you don’t have to tiptoe around for their entire infancy. 🙂
ReplyThanks for the tips as we are expecting #2. Its definitely a challenge, being so tired all the time. I especially agree with you on #1. There are so many couples I hear of where the Mom wakes up every time every night so the Dad can get sleep and go to work. I sit at a desk all day, being a full-time mom is much more tiring, so I tried whenever I could to make things easier for her (whether its getting up with her to help her, like you mentioned, or getting up to bottle feed and letting her sleep)
ReplyCongratulations on the upcoming #2, Eric! Yeah, I have a desk job too, and it’s *way* easier than being home with these three kids all day!
ReplyI remember those sleepless nights! I think one of the hardest things for us was embracing help. We all hate to admit that we need assistance, but new babies automatically qualify all of us for it. I hope new parents out there take your wise advice!
ReplyThanks, Jeff. We’re definitely more inviting of help now that we were with our first child. Despite having no idea what we were doing, we also had a bit of misplaced pride in those early days. Not any more…bring on the help! 🙂
ReplyWe’re going through all this right now as well as we just welcomed our baby boy into the world 3 1/2 weeks ago. I can relate to the newborn turning you into a zombie – we had a particularly trying night last night with the baby waking up every couple hours to cry for no particular reason. *sigh. It is tough!
I agree with the need to have others around you help you out during this time (we’ve had help from the in-laws and from my folks) and for the need to step back from other optional activities. Just take time to enjoy your new baby – and take the time to bond with them!
Congrats to you!
ReplyCongratulations on your new baby, Mr. Money Smarts! I’m sorry to hear about your long night, but I’m sure you’d agree that it’s well worth the temporary struggles.
ReplyThis probably goes along with exercising under the general category of taking care of yourself – taking 10 to 15 minutes just to shower everyday made me feel a lot more human when my boys were newborns. I hear other parents mention they were unable to shower for days and wandered around in their pjs. I figure it is bad enough I am tired. At least if I am clean and have fresh clothes I don’t have to feel icky too.
ReplyThat’s a wonderful tip, Elizabeth! I know it makes a huge difference for me when I am showered and dressed for the day. If I go a day without showering or getting out of my pajamas, I get crazy cabin fever. 😉
ReplyI agree with all of those! I would imagine Baby 3 will bring different challenges than Baby 2, just like Baby 2 was a bit different than Baby 1. I don’t see myself waking Jason for night feedings, just because if this baby is like the first 2, they tend to fill their diaper mid-feeding, so I wouldn’t get any extra sleep out of the deal. I do have some sleep contingency plans for sleep: (1) Having the older siblings sleep over at the grandparents’ house a couple of nights a week so Baby and I can sleep in (e.g. “embrace help”), and (2) Having the older one in Kindergarten during the day and putting my second child down for a nap as soon as the baby decides to sleep in the afternoon so we can all nap (even if it only turns out to be a 30 min power nap).
The only other thing I can say about those newborn weeks can be summed up in two words: Boot. Camp. (Or is that one word?) You just have to tough it out and know, like you said, that the baby is definitely worth it!
ReplyThanks for the great comment, Wendy! I LOVE your contingency plans for extra sleep, especially the sleepovers at the grandparents’ house. Unfortunately, that won’t work for us very often. And when Bethany returns to work, the midday napping idea will be out the window, too. But it sounds like these strategies will be awesome for you!
ReplyI’m hoping Miss Avery will be giving Bethany much longer stretches of sleep by the time she returns to work! My contingencies are really the most important during those first few crazy weeks when Bethany wouldn’t be back at work anyway. In the past, my babies were giving me at least a 6 hour stretch of sleep by 8 weeks, and working up to an 8 hour stretch by 12 weeks. Hoping for similar “luck” this time around.
ReplyAnother great article, Dustin. Thanks!
When we had our first, we got great advice from a coworker that we used for our first two. We went on 3-night shifts. For 3 nights, I would get up and do everything for the baby. For the next 3 nights, my wife would get up and do everything for the baby.
It was a good way to balance the workload, get 3 good, solid nights of sleep when you were “off”, and let your partner have the same when they were off. It was pre-determined (no looking at each other through fake sleeping eyelids in the middle of the night) and it was fair.
It worked particularly as my wife returned to work at the end of the maternity leave both times.
We didn’t use the method for the third, only because that one ended up being a C-Section and she needed a lot more TLC, so I did almost everything with that one.
But the “shiftwork” night plan worked well for us, and we would recommend it to others.
ReplyThanks for sharing, Michael. I really like your strategy of doing shifts. Unfortunately, since my wife is breastfeeding, that won’t work for us. I could try to feed Avery, but I don’t think she’d care too much for that. 😉
I hope others read this and can put it to work, though!
ReplyHa! True, that’ll put a damper on it. My oldest tried to latch onto me once when he was a few weeks old. Since then, I’ve avoided that like the plague and kept my t-shirt ON during my “new baby shifts.”
ReplyWell I have to say that I feel where you are coming from!! This hits home for us too! I, fortunately, don’t “need” as much sleep as my hubby and our new little darling is sleeping no less than 6-7 hour streches every night… So I feel that we are very lucky right now and are getting a bit more sleep with our third than we did with our first two. I remember being “afraid” to sleep when our first was born, now I know so much better!! Not too much watching our baby sleep here, not at night at least. I am hopeful to start a bit of excercise when I am relased by my dr. in a few weeks and am truely enjoying this time, no matter how sleepy we are here!! Great post, as usual Dustin!!
ReplyHa Ha Jaycie, I knew you could relate to this post for sure! You guys are getting quite lucky with that little girl who likes to sleep so much at night. And I’m with you on worrying much less about the babies at night as we’ve gained some experience. 🙂
Reply[…] – Dustin and his wife just added another baby to their heart and home and this post titled, “Zombie Parenting: 5 Tips For The Sleep Deprived” is a must read for all of your still in the process of completing your family […]
ReplyI was so blessed to have a postpartum doula after our 4th was born. I needed it! I am really bad at asking for help and it was so great to have someone here to clean while I enjoyed the new baby.
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