Note from Dustin: This is the BEST GUEST POST ever! Honestly, I couldn’t be more excited because after 2 1/2 years of Engaged Marriage, my wonderful wife Bethany makes her writing debut today to share her love of the book The Vow. 

If you enjoy her post, please leave a comment – she’s a bit insecure about her writing and I’d love her to share more!

As a fan of Engaged Marriage, I thought I’d contribute a “guest post” regarding the book The Vow: The True Events That Inspired the Movie by Kim and Krickitt Carpenter.

I read this book because I am a fan of romance and had seen the trailer for the upcoming movie.

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I imagined that the book would be a moving story of how their love conquered all and got them through what anyone would think of as a horrible time in their lives.

It is true that the book is a love story, but what most inspired me was not the love that Kim and Krickett had for one another, but their faith in God and how that faith seemed to move mountains that appeared insurmountable.

It is obvious from the title that the “vow” that Kim and Krickett took on their wedding day was one they did not promise lightly…but I’m sure that any married couple thinks that when they are standing up in front of witnesses on the day of their own wedding.

I don’t want to go into too much detail about the book because I’d like those here at Engaged Marriage to read this testimony of faith and love for themselves.  However, I did feel compelled to write this to encourage more people to read this book, if they haven’t already.

Through reading this, I was reminded of how much God truly loves the vocation of marriage and how much He wants to be a part of what we have promised in front of Him and to each other.

I was reminded that all of us will face troublesome times in our marriages, hopefully not as terrible as that of Kim and Krickett, but also realizing that there is a reason for everything.  God uses us as tools to spread His word and grace to others.

Kim and Krickett saw their story as a way to share their faith.  They used interviews and TV shows to spread the message of God’s goodness.

Can we do the same?  When faced with challenges in our lives and marriages, we should be asking God “Why?”…not “Why me?” but “What are you trying to say through me?”

When we remember to include God in our marriages, we are strengthened in our vows to each other and given graces we would not have otherwise received if we hadn’t promised to love each other.

It was no coincidence that the first miracle performed by Jesus was at the wedding feast at Cana!

We are all called to vocations in our lives: married life, single life, or religious life.  Make sure that the vow you take is not done lightly and that you are prepared to walk the path God’s will has laid out for you.

It won’t always be easy, but when we include Him, nothing is impossible.

What do you think? Has the depth of your vow been tested, and how would you react if it was?  Share in the comments below!

Bethany Riechmann is the loving wife behind the scenes of Engaged Marriage.  While she only writes once every 30 months, her husband would love your encouragement to get her to share her valuable perspective more often here on the blog!


About the author 


Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

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  1. Hi Bethany..

    So beautifully written!! You MUST write often, much often. And I truly have lot of faith in God which in turn strengthens my faith in marriage. In Indian culture, we have many customs where couples do lot of pooja (worship) together to ask God to bestow his love upon their family and married life.

    Your post has certainly prompted me to buy this book right away though I have doubts if it is available in Indian market. So, job very well done! 🙂

    1. Surabhi – Thank you so much for your kind words. I hope you enjoy this book, but more so the message and reminder of how important faith is in our daily lives!

  2. Well, Bethany, I’m sure you’re going to wonder if any of these compliments are genuine after your husband has egged us on, but I think you did a great job! I like how you brought out that the faith component was what really should get credit for keeping their marriage strong. It’s so true. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?”. We live in a world where people put more value in “following their heart”/emotions without taking the time and energy to examine their heart and emotions and see if they are in the right place. Many assume that if they lose their emotional love for their spouse, not only can they not work to regain it, but the right choice is to “follow their heart” and abandon their vows. The problem comes back to depending on ourselves alone to keep a marriage strong. When we ask for God’s help and give Him the credit for a successful marriage, He will bless our marriage more than we could imagine! Thanks for sharing the review; I’ll have to read that book. I read the Reader’s Digest article several years ago and was delighted when I heard it would be made into a movie.

    1. Wendy – High praise coming from you! How true your comment is. As my faith has only grown more deeply as I have aged, I see too that our marriage has grown and improved as well. I’m sure you’ll see that the book is an easy read, but I simply enjoyed the message, story, and reminder of God’s love for us!

  3. Oh good job, Bethany! I’ve been wanting to read that book since Kim and Krickett are friends of a friend to me. Paul and I watched the movie last week, and they totally strayed from the real life baseball coach and gymnastics scholarship attendee part. So they turned them both into artists instead of athletes. Aaaah sigh! You know I believe baseball makes any love story better.

    ANYWAY, I am totally moved by the faith to do whatever it takes to honor our vows and put a demand on love to prevail. The times I’ve been the most tested in my marriage was when I acted like Paul was supposed to be Jesus!

    Keep posting.

    1. Gina – Though I haven’t seen the movie, I don’t usually have high expectations for those that come from books! I do hope that the powerful message of faith comes through to those who see it. I agree that those times when our marriage has struggled, I needed only to turn to God to find out what I needed to do…which was usually communicate better with Dustin! Thanks for your kind words!

  4. Hi Bethany,

    Great job! I don’t know if you remember, but I emailed Dustin (and you) regarding my marriage last summer. It was a horrible time as I was trying desperately to hold on to my vow. Now that choice has been taken away from me and I am awaiting a divorce. I did go to the altar with the expectation of ‘until death do us part,’ however my husband did not. Now my children are suffering. I would pray that more people would read this book and /or see this movie and truly commit to their vows; even during the difficult times. Granted my situation is very different from many people’s but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t do my best.

    I agree with you that God loves marriage and wants to be an invited participant; not just a guest at the wedding. This is something that exacerbated our situation. We were spiritually mismatched. While marriages like this can work, there is a reason God tells us in His word not to do it. In the event He blesses me with the opportunity to marry again, that is a mistake I will not make twice.

    Thanks, again, for your post. I hope you will become a regular here – it’s nice to have a wife’s perspective too!

    1. Heather – I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage. I realize it is easy for me to say to take vows seriously, but I also realize there are many scenarios that can and do challenge our promises. It works best when both people are devoted to making marriages work. I appreciate your kind words and may consider contributing more, but when Dustin is such a natural at this, it is easy to let him write it all!

  5. Beautiful! I’m so sharing this. =) Thanks for reminding us that a vow in marriage is sacred. In times where divorce (or annulment in our case) is an easy access, it’s a great reminder that God instituted marriage and it should NOT be taken lightly.. Marriage is a commitment.

    I’ve always been a fan of Engaged Marriage and although I don’t comment much, I do share posts here a lot. And I would definitely share this one! This is by far my favorite post from Engaged Marriage!! You should write more, Bethany. =)

    1. Viviene – Wow! Thanks for the ego boost! I’m glad that my post touched you so deeply. I felt compelled to write it and am glad that someone was able to share the message I was trying to relay. We’ll see if I can contribute more frequently than once every 30 months!

  6. im not just saying this: we wives need your input !! :):) i follow another marriage blog, and the best thing about it is that husband and wife each write, and it helps us to see topics from BOTH sides. it would be GREAT to see you post more, and to help engaged marriage be a man and a wife, helping other men and wives!! :):)

  7. Great job Bethany, you presented the case for marriage spot on. God’s grace is what makes the impossible possible. I don’t know about reading the book in the near future, but I’m keen on the movie. Please write often because it’s clear marriage the way God intended is close to your heart (and if you don’t I might have to give back the money Dustin paid me to say this:)).

  8. Staying married in today’s world is hard enough during normal times. It gets really tough when troubles come. Society, the church, and even our families tell us to “move on”.
    My wife left me on May 3rd, 2011. She started remembering her childhood abuses. Our communication wasn’t good at the time and this only brought more stress. An argument and my reactions to her caused her to associate me with all the abusers in her life. She took our four boys and ran.
    Since then we have not talked. A restraining order and accusations against me regarding our children further our communication breakdown.
    I thought I loved my wife.
    I realized, when all this happened, that I didn’t love her the right way. I have come to the realization that I have been called, as a husband, to love her as Christ loves us.
    My wife continues to make accusations and is listening to the wrong people. I have become the reason for all of her troubles. I am the target for all her hatred and fear. Her past abusers have not yet been punished so I am now the target for all her fury.
    I have learned and am still learning to accept her as she is. My lawyer wants me to divorce her and get it over with. My reply to her, my family, and the people at church remains the same.
    I vowed to love, honor, and cherish her for rich or poor, in good times and bad, in sickness and health,as long as we both live. My Savior loves me the same way. He loves me no matter the things I’ve done. He’ll continue to love me and we’ll finally be united in Eternity one day.
    In the meantime, my job as a husband is to love my wife as Christ loves the church. I have found a love and compassion for her that I never knew existed. Jesus has opened my eyes to the way my harsh words and selfish actions have hurt my wife. I’ve been given the gift of insight and an overwhelming compassion for her that is more real than anything I’ve known before.
    I know, beyond a doubt, that my duty is to love her as Christ loves us. I will endure all her rage, her venomous accusations, even her preventing our children from seeing me, because I know that when all of this is done she’ll see the truth. I know her eyes will be opened.

    in the meantime, my duty is to: fix my eyes firmly on God, obey His commands, and He will write His desires on my heart.
    The battle for your marriage isn’t a natural one. It’s supernatural. Satan is working overtime to kill your love, steal your relationship, and destroy your marriage.
    Actively Love your spouse. Love them on purpose.

    Make it your goal to learn 2 new things about them you didn’t know yesterday. Put that new knowledge to use. Actively Love them. Intend to Love them. It’s an effort, I know, but it needs to be. You take time for things that are important to you. Your marriage must be one of those things.

    1. Wow Joseph, God bless you for sharing and give you the victory you hope for. Your testimony is encouraging. May I use your comment in the next edition of the Love Nurture Magazine? Check my website to find out all about it if you like. Thank you in advance.
      Kind regards,

  9. Dear Bethany,

    I loved what you wrote and I want to read the book! You have the ability to inspire just as your husband does. Thank you both for sharing your gifts and your ideas on family, marriage, on other related topics. I have been learning an uplifting message of love about God, due to a special Bible study. It has taken away a sense of being a horrible sinner and weighed down by matter, disease, death, and aging, social norms, etc. To share a little of this refreshing idea, the first chapter of Genesis seems to say it all! That is… we are “made in God’s image and likeness”! And “God saw everything that he had made, and behold it was very good.”. (Not just good, but very good!) Since God is completely spiritual, we must be also, to be made in His image and likeness! We may look and feel material, but even scientists show that on the atomic level we are purely electrons racing around, and electrons are just energy. When we try to conform to limited worldly ideas, we really mess up. When we conform to LOVE ITSELF, that is God, we reflect the limitless qualities that we should reflect as children of God. I love the work you are doing. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Anne

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