Whether we admit it or not, we all wear several hats in our lives.
It doesn’t mean we’re fake or a “poser,” it’s just that different situations call for different versions of us.
There’s the hat we wear at work when we’re taking care to contribute our ideas and relay our professionalism and the hat that we put on when we are spending time with friends and letting loose.
There are also the times when we are empathetic and vulnerable.
The reason we wear these different hats is so we can adjust to our environment and the people that we surround ourselves with.
Human beings innately want to have relationships and get along with and be accepted by other human beings.
Think about it. What’s the worst punishment for prisoners? What can be even worse then being in prison? Solitary confinement!
Being alone is the punishment for people who are already being punished…and it sucks! Be sure not to be alone in your marriage by identifying and getting comfortable with the different roles you play in your husband’s life.
Below are the top five roles that are predominant in every marriage. As you read them, think about what beliefs and behaviors could win you an Oscar in the “Movie of your Marriage.”
1. The Business Partner- I’m sure you’ve heard that a Marriage is like a business. This idea is notorious for creeping into some married couples bedrooms because it can sometimes bring monotony or a planned or scheduled feeling to the marriage.
The good news is that you can choose to be a Fortune 500 wife and use creativity and enthusiasm to get the job done, as opposed to being a hobby business that eventually gets boring and redundant.
2. The Muse- This is the role where you get to be the inspiration that drives your husband to be all that he can be.
Some important things you can do as a good Muse are accentuate his positive attributes by complimenting him frequently, be his cheerleader even he gets thrown off his game and, most importantly, get into his world by showing interest in his passions.
3. The Lover- I LOVE the lover! After being married for 2 or 20 years, the role of the lover takes a choice to make it great!
For this role, it’s worth investing in books, classes, games, teleseminars or anything else that teaches you new skills and tricks to keep your partner on his toes.
4. The Mother of His Children– Being the mother of a man’s child is one of the best gifts you can give your husband. Now he has two reasons to look out for you and protect you.
One because he loves you so much his head is in the clouds around you and two you need to be there for his children to be the best mom they could ever have.
5. The Voyeur– Sometimes you will need to sit back and watch what happens in your husband’s life and not say a word. The beauty of being in a healthy relationship is giving one another the space to be your own individual and make your own mistakes.
It can be difficult because sometimes we think we know better and can save them from their not-so-great choices, but just being there when things don’t turn out the way he thought can bring you closer than if you start to take on the part of mommy… which is a role you NEVER want to play in the adventure of marriage.
Remember, you can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be the best you to your honey!
What different “roles” do you play in your marriage? Are there roles that you wish your spouse (or fiance) would play a bit better? 🙂
Cory Honickman is Los Angeles’s top Marriage Educator and the creative visionary behind “Reinventing Marriage, Commitment For Modern Emotionally Intelligent Couples”. Cory has coached and consulted to countless singles and couples that now declare that they’ll never have an unsupervised relationship again!
Through interactive multi media programs and systems, private intensives and platinum membership communities, couples can customize their marriage in a way that brings out the best in both of them and empowers them to make smart decisions. When couples want their personalized happily ever after, they call Cory Honickman, whose mission is to decrease the staggering divorce rates that exist worldwide. For more information, go to www.reinventingmarriage.com or call 888-378-5675.
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.