Note: This guest post by Vanessa Jones asks some really interesting questions about how we use social media within our marriages. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
While social networking sites such as Facebook are designed to strengthen relationships among friends and loved ones, they are now slowly weakening them.
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Studies show social networking sites are now the number one growing evidentiary support for divorce cases. According to a recent study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, social networking sites, particularly Facebook, are being used in court to show proof of cheating, most of which is linked to social media users who exchange flirty and sexual messages and photographs with old flames.
In fact, the survey suggests that one in every five divorce cases involve a social media site. More specifically, 66 percent of cases involve Facebook, about 15 percent involve MySpace and about only 5 percent involve Twitter. But while most would argue that falling out of love is the main reason for divorce and not a social networking site, should you avoid friending your spouse to steer clear of potential problems all together?
The quick answer would be…
If you have nothing to hide, then what’s the problem?
But research shows that even innocent parties can be accused of infidelity due to jealousy of seeing someone of the opposite sex post on their spouse’s wall. No matter if they trust their spouse and know deep down inside they are faithful, many still claim to double-guess themselves and develop unnecessary suspicions which will ultimately cause problems within a marriage.
But some who refuse to add their spouses on social networking sites to avoid unnecessary jealousy may still be accused of infidelity. Again, the unknowing alludes to the idea that you may be potentially hiding something.
The truth of the matter is that, aside from avoiding unnecessary jealousy, some people would rather not friend their spouse because they yearn to have something that is just his or her own individual thing. But some spouses cannot swallow this idea: isn’t marriage supposed to be about sharing everything, including what you post on a social media site?
For those who strive to retain some sort of individuality and crave to have something of their own, if you choose not to add your spouse, a good way to avoid problems and confirm trust is to allow your spouse to have your account information to all social media sites, including users names and passwords. This solution isn’t for everyone, but again if you have nothing to hide, this shouldn’t be an issue.
Another option would be to not hand your account information but to always access your social media site out in the open and, most importantly, in front of your spouse.
If you choose to add your spouse, it’s important that you use the site to fortify your relationship. A good way to do this is to occasionally publicize affection for one another by posting sweet nothings on each other’s walls and uploading and tagging photos of each other as a loving couple.
What do you think? Has social media had a positive or negative impact on your relationship?
This guest post is contributed by Vanessa Jones, who writes on the topics of dating sites. She welcomes your comments at her email: firstname.lastname@example.org.