Ask the Community: What Does an "Extraordinary Marriage" Mean to You? | Engaged Marriage

Ask the Community: What Does an “Extraordinary Marriage” Mean to You?

By Dustin | Ask the Community

Ask the CommunityI had a lot of fun last week having two guest posts published (at Simple Marriage and Romance University) and interacting with lots of new people.  Some of these conversations carried over onto Facebook and Twitter as well.  On top of all that, I read some other thought-provoking posts on other blogs.

I loved all of the interaction, and I know we have a community here at Engaged Marriage that is second to none. So, I think it would be both fun and really informative to occasionally ask you all a thought-provoking question and let you run with it in the comments.  When we hit a good groove, I’ll follow-up with a post giving my thoughts and highlighting some of the best responses (with links to your sites if you are a fellow blogger).  Sound cool?

So, the first question(s) I have for you strike at the core of this site and our stated mission.  I have my thoughts, but what is most important is what you think…

  • What does an “Extraordinary Marriage” mean to you?
  • Do you have one?
  • Do you want one?

Please share you thoughts in the comments section, and let’s see what you think.  I’m really looking forward to this one!

Photo by Andreanna Moya Photography
Follow

About the Author

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

Leave a Comment:

(25) comments

Well I’m not married yet but I’m engaged and have been living with my fiance for a while. I think an extraordinary marriage means just having an open relationship, being honest and working together to resolve the inevitable issues that will come about. It means consantly striving to make things better in your relationship.

You could probably write a term paper on this topic but I think that is a quick summary of it.
.-= Living with Balls´s last blog ..The Babes of LOST: Take Your Pick =-.

Reply

    Thanks, LWB. Yeah, I bet you could form an entire blog around this topic! 🙂

    Reply

I think an extraordinary marriage is one that gets younger as you grow older, and gets stronger every time it seems to grow weaker.
.-= Pat´s last blog ..Different Posts for Different Folks – Beyond Just Being Consistent =-.

Reply

    Thanks, Pat! Not surprisingly, your words are very wise and concise. I really appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment here.

    If anyone reading this wants some fantastic advice on blogging and/or passive income, you need to check out Pat’s site!

    Reply

It’s digging deeper into your marriage and more in love as each year passes. Having been married for 13 years it takes time and commitment, but it worth every moment to have an extraordinary marriage.
.-= Tony´s last blog ..Episode 002 – Can We Talk? =-.

Reply

    Thanks for the great words of wisdom, Tony! I know that you and Alisa have an extraordinary marriage and share my passion for helping others achieve the same.

    Reply
Mark

I would say being on mission together for something much bigger than yourselves describes an extraordinary marriage. More than likely, almost every couple would say they want that, but most don’t know how or just don’t want to do the work to be extraordinary and end up settling for less.

Reply

    Mark, you’ve said several things here that resonate with me. I am withholding my specific thoughts to avoid steering the comments, but I have to say that you have shared some thoughts that really match my beliefs on this topic.

    By the way, your site looks fantastic!

    Reply
      Batrice Adcock

      I think one reason God puts a couple together is because He has a mission for them together, or perhaps being together helps each spouse to live their individual missions more fully!

      Reply
      Mark

      Thanks for checking out my site. I’ve added yours to my google reader.
      .-= Mark´s last blog ..Why You Should Teach Covenant Marriage =-.

      Reply

        And I’ve added yours to mine. Thanks, Mark.

        Reply
Wendy R

To be extraordinary, be a three-fold cord. Individually, we are not perfect and will inevitably disappoint our spouse time after time. With God’s strength truly binding the marriage, it is indeed “not quickly broken”. To me, this means that if I’m really trying to conform to Christ’s example, that will make me a better spouse, and when my husband is also working toward this, God will bless the marriage with common purpose. Ultimately, as with every good thing, God gets the credit for a great marriage.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Reply

    Thanks so much, Wendy! You are such a Bible rock-star, and I really appreciate you sharing the perfect scripture to help us address this question. I love the “threefold cord” reference!

    Reply

What a great question! We are about to celebrate our 31st anniversary next month…yet, it feels as if our life together has just begun. What makes an extraordinary marriage is one where each spouse gives of themselves 100% with a willingness to lay their lives down for the other. Difficult? Oh, yes! Especially during arguments where you KNOW you’re right. Possible? Only by the grace of God at work in both hearts. God is more interested in our holiness than our happiness, and marriage is a great garden for cultivating holiness. If we are truly wanting an extraordinary marriage it must be on God’s terms – we are to reflect Christ’s relationship to His church. When they see us – we are providing a mirror of Him that looks so attractive other’s are drawn into the Kingdom for His glory, not our own. And to top it all off – God helps us grow more and more in love as the years pass. Amazing!
.-= Tom and Debi Walter´s last blog ..Harmony or Discord? =-.

Reply

    Tom and Debi, thank you for sharing your wise words! We are currently preparing to be presenters in a Christian (Catholic) marriage retreat this weekend, and the concept of our marriages reflecting Christ’s relationship to the Church (Bridegroom and Bride) is a central theme of one of our talks.

    Thanks for your wonderful example of how good marriage can be for 31 years and beyond!

    Reply

An extraordinary marriage is when both partners seek to serve each other. It’s one where communication is free flowing and each partner is safe to share issues that concern them. It’s a marriage where both partners are quick to forgive. It’s a place where commitment is unswerving. It’s realizing that you always need to be learning more about each other over time.

Reply

    Thank you, Ken! Your examples are fantastic in highlighting the role of quality communication in a successful marriage. I know that I certainly still have much to learn about my dear wife! 🙂

    Reply
Batrice Adcock

For me, the most important aspect of our marriage is the commitment. We’ve promised to love each other and be faithful as long as we are both alive! And, because of that, I believe, we are more committed to working out problems, to being patient, to listening well, and to working in general for the good of our relationship. It is the most intimate relationship we will ever be a part of–even more intimate than with our parents or children. So, why not make the best of it!!! And, as Christians, we have God on our side, giving us grace to do the right thing.

We are aided in striving to have a harmonious relationship by our complementary roles, as God made us. I read an article on the interesting verse from Ephesians: “Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.” The instruction to husbands is to “love your wives as Christ loves the Church”. And, Christ died for his bride!! I think it’s a taller order for husbands. But, the point is that “when wives are subordinate to their husbands, they inspire them to give of themselves as Christ did. And, when husbands put their wives’ needs before their own, they inspire their wives to be trusting”. (From “Why I Love Ephesians’ Take on ‘Submission'”, by Kathleen Ballard in the latest “Family Foundations” magazine from CCL).

Reply

    Thanks, Batrice! My wife and I are presenting at a marriage retreat this weekend, and a major part of one of our talks focuses on Ephesians. There is so much wisdom there in so few words!

    Reply

Thanks for the posts. I see a lot of my own marriage in some of the comments. If I could sum up the essence of an extraordinary marriage in my opinion…It’s simply both partners wanting what is best for the relationship. Sometimes it’s your own needs, sometimes it’s your partners and sometimes it’s both. It’s the trust in one another that each values each others needs and desires as much as their own.

Reply

    Thanks for the comment, Meredith. I totally agree with your focus on TRUST!

    Reply
Amanda (Garibay Soup)

An extraordinary marriage to me is when you can defy all the odds and remain together through the most difficult trials. Marriage is not an easy thing, never was supposed to be. We hear this so often, yet the minute times get hard, the towel gets thrown in. I feel extremely blessed to know that we have defied odds…. We’ve been in situations where normally divorce happens, but we chose to cling together and grow together through our trials instead of apart.
.-= Amanda (Garibay Soup)´s last blog ..WFMW ~ A Life Tip =-.

Reply

    Thank you for your witness, Amanda! You are such a good person, and it shows in this comment.

    Reply

[…] Ask the Community: What Does an “Extraordinary Marriage” Mean to You? […]

Reply

[…] to your family, it should always be your goal. My point is that you should never stop trying to be extraordinary in your marriage. You should never stop trying to be truly married […]

Reply
Add Your Reply

Leave a Comment:

Pin
Share
Tweet