I was struck by how spot on the post was.
I mean seriously.
The post was chock full of beautiful transparency — and hard core truth — about what really makes for great sex. (Even if you don’t have a daughter, read the post).
The gist of that post and many other ones like it is that profound sexual intimacy happens against a backdrop of a husband and wife who know — really know — the messiness and emotional investment of doing life together.
That post does a beautiful job of reminding us that genuine lovemaking is not about mere instant gratification.
How heartbreaking that single teens and young adults give themselves away sexually, long before they are even equipped to recognize what authentic sexual intimacy is. And yet, our society portrays such scenarios as dripping with passion and sexual ecstasy.
And sadly, many married couples that have indeed grown up enough in their lives and in their marriage to have what truly is hot passionate sex — well, they aren’t. It’s within their reach, and yet they have shimmied right past it.
What do we do with that irony?
Certainly I get why we are diligent in educating youngsters on the value of waiting until marriage to have sex. I regularly talk to my teen son about this (and his girlfriend, by the way). And I used to speak in the public schools about abstinence as a realistic choice. To say I’m not shy about it is an understatement.
BUT I think if we really want to prevent single people from having sex, those of us who are married should do all we can to nurture hot sexual intimacy in our own marriages. Easy enough, right?
Well, as Christians, we have a long history of lauding the sin and consequences of sex outside of marriage. Lamenting about sin on a grand scale is much easier than practicing godliness (1 Corinthians 7) on a small (individual) scale.
What if we gave equal (if not, more) airtime to singing the praises of sex in marriage? And not just sex, but hot passionate “I can’t get enough of you” lovemaking between a husband and a wife?
Extraordinary sex lives in the ordinary. I kid you not. That is where it lives.
If that is not your reality, what can you do to move in that direction?
For some of you, not only is hot passionate sex not your rule in your marriage; it’s not even your exception. So to flip a switch and make it a reality at all is not so easy, right? But what if you could at least begin to uncover what it will take to move in that direction?
Marriage is not meant to be stagnant. We are always either growing closer or growing apart.
When I think back on that post I mentioned earlier, I think what I liked so much about it is that it speaks positively of passionate sex that finds its roots in authentic love and marital commitment. It recognizes that marriage is a long haul of give and take, trenches and mountaintops, tiredness and rediscovered sexual enthusiasm.
As much as I want my kids to know the consequences of sex outside of marriage, more than that I want them to know the consequences of sex INSIDE of marriage — the positive, soul enriching, oneness that out-competes against the counterfeit version the media sells.
Julie Sibert writes and speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com. She lives in Omaha, Nebraska, with her husband and their two boys. When she's not writing, she's probably drinking ridiculously overpriced coffee.