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I’ve inherited my parent’s player piano, something for which I’m grateful because of the memories it holds for me.

But when I play it something is wrong, very wrong. The notes seem off a bit, and they are.

After moving this heavy piece from my Mom’s home to ours it lost it’s tune. I can put in a roll of one of Dad’s favorite songs and it sounds as if it’s dragging, even the upbeat tunes sound tired and worn out.

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The good news is this old piano hasn’t lost it’s music, it just needs a tune-up. Once the keys have been set to their proper pitch the old songs will be like new again.  How do I know? I’ve had it tuned before and the process is fascinating.

This is like marriage as well.

Life has a way of beating us up all day long, then putting us back in our homes as the sun sets, exhausted and weary. We do what we can to connect in the short time between dinner and bedtime, collapse in each other’s arms only to repeat the entire process again tomorrow.

It’s hard to be in tune with each other when we’re being pulled in different directions all day long. This is why being intentional in romancing each other is a must.

Have you lost your ability to express your love in thoughtful ways?

I’m certain you haven’t lost your ability, you simply need a tune-up, so to speak, to get the music of romance sounding lively once again.

We all need this and this is why I write about romance in marriage here each month. It’s sort of like a monthly tune-up.

There are 88 keys on a standard piano, and each one has it’s own note to play.

It can’t be tuned to sound like the note next to it or there would be no harmony. Each note is unique to itself, yet it has a place among all the other notes. So it is with date nights and romantic kindnesses. Each one is unique and provides a new depth to the harmony of our marriage. It is a gift to be able to reach the place in your relationship where you make beautiful music together, to borrow an old adage.

How is the music in your marriage?

Is it tired and weary? Maybe it’s time to do some research and discover what area of your spouse’s life needs attention. It could be encouragement on how they’re doing in the parenting department. It could be they need to lighten up and spend an evening laughing. It may be a night of dancing together would do the trick.

The key is (pun intended) to find out what your spouse needs to remind them of your love and care, and then do all you can to make it happen.

Last year I hosted a ladies retreat and one of the ladies who came did so because her husband insisted. They have 6 children whom they home-school, so she was obviously in need of some alone time with girlfriends and with the Lord. This retreat provided both. Her husband sending her away for a week  in the mountains was more than enough for her to know he loved her, but he didn’t stop there. A couple of days into the retreat she received a delivery from the UPS truck. It was a box of her favorite pumpkin spice coffee creamers because he knew how much she enjoys an afternoon treat. She was overwhelmed at his thoughtfulness, but he didn’t stop there! Yes, two days later the UPS truck pulled up again with another package for her. This time it was a beautiful afghan to wrap herself in as a warm hug from home. All the ladies oohed and aaahed. I’ll never forget the look on her face. This dear wife was the recipient of thoughtful and romantic gifts of love from her adoring husband. The gifts didn’t cost that much, but what they expressed to her was priceless.

When was the last time you purposed to bless your spouse in this way?

Take some time and study where they are struggling right now. Listen and pay attention, like those who tune a piano. See which notes are in need of tweaking, and then do something creative to show your love and care.

This is what a healthy marriage looks like, and when we play together in such perfect harmony, our children will notice and want to join in the song.

While I’ve been writing this post, I keep thinking of the lyrics of an old song by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder titled, “Ebony and Ivory.” Listen to the lyrics and apply it to your marriage. I always say there’s a song for everything…this one is another example. Oh, and guys–don’t forget Mother’s Day is approaching soon. Why not start planning something special now. Check out our ideas here.

(photo credit)




About the author 

Debi Walter

Tom and Debi Walter have been cultivating their romantic vineyard for most of their 36 years of marriage. It has been their conviction from the start. Now they are passionate about helping other couples discover the rich harvest of romance available to them no matter the current season. Through their marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard established in 2008, they provide regular posts about growing your marriage for God's glory.

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

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