Saving Up for the Future - Dos and Don'ts to Keep a Healthy and Financially Stable Marriage | Engaged Marriage

Saving Up for the Future – Dos and Don’ts to Keep a Healthy and Financially Stable Marriage

By Dustin | Finances & Careers

Note: This is a guest post from Kelly Austin.

Money and Marriage

Most couples headed down the unfortunate road to divorce will often cite money as the cause for their “irreconcilable differences”.

As we take the steps toward marriage, we base our relationship on common interests and goals. Many of us take the area of finances for granted, hoping they will “just work out.”

Our finances, like our marriage, will take work to be an area of success. Hopefully, as you entered into wedded bliss, you did so with a partner who shares the same view of money and spending as you do.

However, if you didn’t, there is no reason to jump ship. It is possible to get on the same page and develop a closer relationship with your spouse in the process.

“What’s the Matter?”

One of the issues that plague “good” marriages is a difference in spending and saving habits.

While these differences can create ongoing conflict, the bigger issue is communication about spending and saving. As you go down the road to creating a stronger marriage and a healthy financial future, both partners must be willing to openly communicate financial goals and ideals.

You may find that as you gain ground in understanding each other’s financial paradigm, you will grow and develop other areas of your marriage as well.

Let’s take a look at some of the dos and don’ts to financial peace and harmony…

Dos and Don’ts

* Do create a budget to monitor income and expenses
* Don’t develop an attitude of “I make money so I can spend money”

* Do conduct a family meeting to discuss the budget
* Don’t get frustrated and back away from these valuable discussions

* Do come to an agreement on the allocation of all funds in your household
* Don’t become easily frustrated – give it your best shot; you can do it!

* Do set goals with your spouse on paying down debt and saving for the future
* Don’t give up! If it’s too overwhelming and causing conflict, the help of a mediator or counselor may be helpful.

* Do sit down monthly to discuss the given budget and continue to discuss your shared goals – this is a great opportunity for a date night!
* Don’t ignore the finances once you get started – it’s important to stay on top of each milestone achieved toward your goal(s).

As you come back to understanding each other’s goals and dreams, you will be able to share your financial responsibilities and develop a stronger, healthier marriage as a result.

How have you and your spouse improved the way you handle your money?

This post was contributed by Kelly Austin from Higher Salary. Visit her site for information on the average medical assistant salary and guides to other popular careers.

Follow

About the Author

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

Leave a Comment:

(5) comments

Shana Bresnahan

These are great starter tips for tackling finances in marriage. We’ve definitely experienced the frustration of budgeting together. Luckily we’ve moved away from our detailed excel tracking sheet to a simple budget in Mint.com. It’s been much easier to manage. We actually just finished our end of month budget meeting with no quarrels. Success!

Reply
IAAMM

My husband and I agree that I manage our finances. The only problem is that hubby has no money to manage because he’s currently unemployed. Grrrrrrr! We are earnestly working on that.

Reply
carlos

my current wife (second marriage for me, third for her) adopted a boy in her last marriage. he spends half his time between us and his dad. he is ten years old and we get along….i have a 27 year old son from my first marriage. after the adoption, the agency and counselors involved at the time strongly suggested that my wife keep in contact with the biological mother and siblings. this turned into a fiasco eventually due to the financial burden the birth mother placed on my wife for the past 10 years. she sends her monthly payment of $250 and buys the other children clothing and x-mas toys, clearly allowing this to go on due to some form of guilt complex (that she took this womans baby). she does the same with other family members on her side who constantly ask her for money and hardly pay any of it back. i tried to “do the math” and came up with about $50,000 total of what she’s given out and has never been repaid (from what she’s told me since we started dating and ended up married). we’re both in our mid 40’s and are truly the most compatible in every area. my issue, financially speaking, is that i’m trying to get her to see how much others have walked all over her, those that are family and her tendency to just “throw money” at any situation. she agreed to stop paying the birth-mother each month to which i assumed all other forms of giving would end too. found out last night that she continues to buy clothing and holiday gifts for the kids which is not what we agreed upon when talking this through. now i feel like this is how life will be with her. i’ll only get the info that’s being discussed directly…no other info that’s relevant. now in the future, i know i’ll have to be very direct and very thorough about how issues are discussed and managed….it will come down to symantics. i appreciate her sense of philanthropy”, but continuing this relationship with the birth-mother and her children is not healthy and makes me wonder what is truly going on in other areas of our lives….not a good place to be in…

Reply
    carlos

    i should add that my wife does not allow her son to visit anymore with his bio-mother and siblings. he asks but she says no each time….this was a smart move, i thought, as his behaviors were becoming an issue that i thought had something to do with security and identity…which was affirmed by his school counselor. but she still feels it to be okay to put her money and energy into this “other family”.

    Reply

Part of our pre-marital counseling was how to handle our finances. Because we had a solid plan in place we haven’t really changed much over the last 3 years.

Fortunately, we both agree that we don’t want any debt. So while we both have college debt (and are currently in school) we have stopped taking out any further loans and have a definite, realistic plan in place to pay them back as quickly as possible as soon as we graduate.

Reply
Add Your Reply

Leave a Comment:

Pin
Share
Tweet