I am a total Words of Affirmation guy.
Well, I was recently reading a post from my friend Fawn at Happy Wives Club…yes, I’m a guy who reads articles on a women’s site, it’s a curse. 🙂
Anyway, her post really struck a chord with me, and she was gracious enough to let me share it with you here at Engaged Marriage.
As you read it, please reflect on all the good and awesome things your spouse does for you every single day. I know that my wife Bethany blesses me in ways that I don’t deserve, and I miss too many opportunities to simply say “thank you” to let her know how much it means to me.
Let’s read and reflect – and definitely head over to join the Happy Wives Club so you can stay inspired.
by Fawn of Happy Wives Club
Is it a sign of weakness to be grateful? This may sound like a silly question but I wonder if it’s possible some people feel this way when considering the need to show gratitude toward their spouse. Maybe it’s just that we feel so entitled to being treated well and cared for by our husband that we don’t feel gratitude is necessary.
Every time Keith buys something for me, whether something as small as frozen yogurt or a bottle of carrot juice, I always say, “thank you.” And it’s not just empty words, I truly am grateful, and make sure to tell him such. It wasn’t until recently that I noticed how often I say, “thank you” or “I’m grateful.” I could easily conclude that buying me dinner, taking me to the movies, bringing home groceries and helping around the house are all expectancies in the give and take of marriage. But since it costs me nothing to simply say, “thank you” or “I’m grateful,” I do it as often as possible.
I need to feel appreciated. It’s invigorating to know my efforts, no matter how great or small, have been received by my husband with gratitude. I imagine you feel the same way. We’re a little more vocal in telling our spouse this is important to us. Although they may not say it, men need to feel appreciated even more than we do. They are simply wired that way. They need to feel our gratitude and to know what they do each and every day does not go unnoticed.
“Thank you” is not a phrase that should be reserved for strangers serving us at restaurants or handing us our coffee at Starbucks. Showing gratitude toward our spouse for even the smallest thing causes them to want to continue doing more. It’s no wonder I am continuously saying thank you. The more I show him how much I appreciate what he does for me, the more he is inclined to do. Of course, this should not be used as a manipulative tactic but rather come from a genuine place of gratefulness.
Wanting a pat on the back or recognition for a small gesture isn’t a sign of insecurity. Just as expressing our gratitude to our spouse as we would to a stranger helping us with something is not a sign of weakness. It simply means we recognize the relationship we have is special; more important than any other in the world, and we desire to nurture it each and every day. Expressing gratitude for the little things is just another way of accomplishing that.
What has your husband done today that deserves a “thank you,” “I’m grateful,” or simply, “you’re the best”? There’s something.
Just make the effort to figure out what it is and show him a little bit of gratitude. I promise, it’ll go a long way.
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.