Why Men Fall Asleep After Sex I remember a time after my husband and I had just made love, and we were talking.

And by we, I mean me. I was talking. Mostly to myself.

And he was falling asleep.

He was falling asleep so quickly that had it been an Olympic sport – this falling asleep shenanigan – he would have taken gold.

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Can you relate to the above scenario? Have you lied there frustrated, wondering why men fall asleep after sex?

It’s Not Just In Your Head

Some of you are seething just thinking back on similar moments in your own bed.

Maybe it happens every time you and your husband have sex. You’re still reaching for a towel (what with the lovemaking having wrapped up only seconds ago), and you glance over to see your husband asleep!

Like, really asleep.

And you are hurt. Offended.

Baffled that the two of you have just experienced this incredibly bonding experience, only to have him roll over and drift off with ease.

If him falling asleep feels hurtful to you – maybe even compels you to think you are nothing more than the object of his sexual release – I want to encourage you as one wife to another.

I want to encourage you to see his sleepiness in a different light.

3 Reasons Why Men Fall Asleep After Sex

Many wives have wondered why a man can fall asleep so quickly after lovemaking. She interprets his unabashed sleepiness as an emotional slight, a confirmation that all the stereotypes about guys and sex are indeed true.

Sex is just sex to him.

There is another possibility, though.

Your Husband’s Sleepiness Is A Compassionate Complement

I would even argue it’s a more credible possibility than the emotional carelessness we too often have assumed when he falls asleep after sex.

When you and your husband make love, he is at his most vulnerable. Every husband I ever hear from in comments and emails tells me that sex is not just sex.

It’s not just a physical release.  (After all, he could do that all on his own).


Falling Asleep After Sex Is A Profound Affirmation Of Love

He feels so incredibly safe and honored and loved by the woman he married.

Your husband falling asleep after experiencing incredible sexual connectedness, not to mention a great orgasm, shouldn’t offend you.

If anything, you should pat yourself on the back and smile.

Oh, And You Just Released A Bunch Of Sleep Hormones Too!

There is one biological reason that your husband always falls asleep after sex. That is, of course, that having sex releases a flood of feel-good sleep hormones into their brain.  This isn’t exclusive to men, it happens to you as well! These hormones will relax your husband, and if you are in bed (or anywhere else comfortable) they will help usher him quickly to sleep.

It’s nothing personal, just a little biology… and besides, sex can be a real workout!

Why Do Men Sleep After Sex? Because They Feel Relaxed, Loved, and Affirmed

And isn’t that what you want for the man who wears the ring you gave him?

Isn’t it what you want for the man with whom you share the commitment and messy life and cumbersome schedules?

He is sleepy because he just gave his whole self up – physically, emotionally, spiritually – to do the one thing he can experience only with you. Well done. You rock as a partner.

If some casual conversation after making love is more important than all of that, then I encourage you to humble your heart.


And the next time he falls asleep quickly after the two of you make love, curl up next to him.

Take a breath. And go to sleep too.

Your marriage will thank you.

Also Check out Why Do I Crave Sex More Than My Partner Does?


About the author 

Julie Sibert

Julie Sibert writes and speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com. She lives in Omaha, Nebraska, with her husband and their two boys. When she's not writing, she's probably drinking ridiculously overpriced coffee.

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

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  1. When he sleeps, it could be he’s tired of his day to day walks and duties to the office. Whenever this happens, talk to your partner about it. He will definitely tell you why.

  2. I could not agree more. I work hard in construction I give everything to make sure my wife is fully satisfied with the intercores and has multiple orgasms before I finish . Sleep comes because I am physically spent and I feel safe in my bed with a woman I love and respect. 48 years of marriage and we satisfie each other in all way possible. We still talk and communication during the day and enjoy making love almost every night. It is very fulfilling for us both and we never fail to let each other know how fabulous it was last night and how much we look forward to tonight’s encounter.

  3. I'm a woman who works hard, is tired and falls asleep after an orgasm. Its the orgasm that does it, not sex itself. So if he takes care of me first, there is no chance I'll be doing anything else after that. That's why we have his and her nights.

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