It seems like everyone uses text messaging anymore – even my father-in-law sends me texts on his flip phone. 🙂
Have you ever taken advantage of texts to spice up the romance in your marriage?
Bethany sends me texts from time to time simply to say “I love you” or to tell me she appreciates something specific that I’ve done.
Given that Words of Affirmation is my primary Love Language, this puts a big smile on my face every time!
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I do the same to share how I’m feeling, especially during the rush of a hectic or stressful day. It’s really amazing how powerful even a few words can be and text messaging makes it fast, easy and instant.
This got me thinking about some ways to capture all the goodness of a romantic love letter by taking just a few minutes to tap out a message on my cell phone. What I’ve found is that even a simple thought can make a BIG difference in our relationship…just beware of that damn autocorrect so you don’t send the wrong signals. 😉
Text the Romance Back
While I was researching (sorry, it’s the engineer in me) the most effective ways to text your spouse, I came across a fantastic video clip from The Rachael Ray Show last Valentine’s Day. You can view it right here, and I think you’ll enjoy seeing how seemingly simple little messages can have a lasting impact.
To my amazement, I found that the guest on that show actually has a blueprint that he developed to help couples “text the romance back” in their relationship with specific phrases and techniques. According to Michael Fiore, the key is to cater your messages to the “triggers” that really resonate with the way we’re wired as men and women.
It makes sense – just like the Love Languages – we all have certain phrases that really touch us and make us feel loved, desired – and raise our feelings of intimacy.
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The 3 “Magic” Texts
I went ahead and grabbed Michael’s top three text messages, and I’m impressed. I was going to share them here, but after reading through his suggestions, I realized that you really need to understand the context to make them most effective. Plus, there are very different messages depending on whether you’re sending them to your wife or your husband.
The good news is that he gives them away for free. You can click here to grab them for yourself – you just select whether you’re male or female, enter your email address and then they get sent to you instantly.
I think you’ll get a lot of this.
Like I said, there is an entire blueprint that lays out all the details. If you’d like to find out more about that and check out Michael’s presentation on where all of this came from and how it works, you can check that out here.
I think this is a really useful product that can let all of us improve the romance in our relationships, even when we’re feeling super busy and stretched for time. If you do decide to pick up the full program, I earn a small commission for sharing it with you so you’ll be supporting Engaged Marriage while investing in your marriage. Thanks either way!
Share Your Favorite Texts!
I’d love to hear how you use text messages to stay connected with your spouse.
In the comments below, please share your favorite text to send or receive and how it helps your marriage.
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Texts are the little helpful reminders that our spouse is thinking of us. They give us the gumption to move forward in the day – and give us something to be excited about.
I like the way you put that, Rickey. They can definitely be fantastic little reminders – and Bethany seems to have a knack for sending them just when I need it most. 🙂
Dustin
Hey Dustin, thanks for reminding me of Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. They are a great checklist for our relationships with the better half and kids as well.
A funny story, I got a text from my wife’s mobile (cell phone) about something or rather and it was signed off affectionately. I fell for it, and the kids had a great laugh at my expense. Oh well!
You’re welcome, Gerry. There are few things that I reference more personally or in my writing that the 5 Love Languages. We’ve just found them to be too darn accurate to ignore!
I love the trick from your kids – classic! 🙂
Dustin
husband and i are separated for awhile now and will begin again soon I always sent a good morning ! hope you have a great day at the same time every morning…. at around 4p every day I would say something on the lines of “u know what I love the most about u… or I love….. or thank you….. and then every night at around 9ish I sent a good night I love u…. he would always respond to all of them.. Friends told me that was being to clingy so I stopped.
I’m sorry to hear you have been going through a separation, but I think the open communication is good thing. Good luck getting things back on track.
Dustin
We have a “one word” secret that holds a special memory for both of us. All I have to say is this one word and it sends Tom to a specific place and time. And NO I’m not telling you what it is. 🙂 But I will encourage all couples to have such “secrets” that they agree to share with no one else. This is very romantic and works well with texting too.
I don’t text to spice up the marriage per se. But I do use it throughout most days just to say I love you.
Dustin, great post and a nice reminder of how a little effort can have a big impact. Not sure if you read about a recent application that launched for iPhone, Pair (http://trypair.com), but it builds on a lot of the concepts you bring up here. Curious to hear your perspective on it if you try it out (not affiliated, just a fan). Keep up the great work.
Hi Dustin! I just found your blog . . . awesome! Over at Ephesians 525 we counsel couples with struggling marriages, and we’ve found daily texts to be a great tool. We tell the guys to go first . . . Christ loved the church first and died for us before any of us did anything, and men are commanded to love their wife as Christ loved the church. When a wife starts feeling loved, she responds. We’ve had a lot of guys improve their marriage with this one simple act. Great blog!
My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship …he is gone 8 months a year.
The time we are able to spend together is precious so we don’t take it for granted like so many couples who are able to be together all the time.Through emails, video chats and texts…we are building a foundation of communication that I believe will lead toward a lifetime of companionship.We invest much effort into encouraging and supporting each other…The dividends are priceless!
It sounds like you two are doing a fantastic job staying connected despite your physical separation, Lori! It sounds like you may be able to spend more time together in the future, and this solid foundation you’re building now is only going to make your relationship that much stronger for the long-term.
Thanks for sharing!
Dustin