The best things in life are often the most simple.
A steaming cup of coffee brought to you in bed. A lingering kiss goodbye. A comforting back rub.
That’s right, a back rub. It doesn’t sound like much, but actually massage between couples comes with a whole host of benefits for your relationship and your close connection with your spouse.
Giving your partner a massage will help you weave strong bonds of trust, supercharge your intimacy and even make you fall a little more in love with them, just like you did at the start of your relationship!
Sound good? Of course it does. Not to mention, a muscle-melting massage feels absolutely fantastic.
Who wouldn’t want access to that on tap?
Massage is the gift that keeps on giving. Once you know how, it’s just one more tool in your relationship arsenal to help you pamper and love your partner on a regular basis.
Here are five incredible ways massage can work to transform your relationship:
1. Radically Builds Your Trust & Connection
Trust is a crucial part of any romantic relationship. Chances are, you already inherently trust your spouse more than anyone in the world. But sometimes this bond needs a little work, and sometimes (no matter how close you already are) it’s great to just reinforce it in the name of ongoing development.
Massage has been proven to supercharge the trusting bond between couples.
In order to fully enjoy any massage, you’ll have to deeply relax. It’s a beautiful experience to close your eyes as your partner is rhythmically massaging your neck and shoulders and fall back into them as their hands work magic on your muscles.
Becoming putty in your spouse’s hands and likewise, having them surrender to you in the same unquestioning way, is a lovely, comforting experience that will steep through your entire marriage.
2. Creates Effortless Intimacy
The biggest difference between a massage from a professional massage therapist and one from the person you love is the ability to fully embrace the intimacy created during the experience.
Intimacy is about being emotionally close to another person, and it is not an automatic occurrence in a relationship.
Intimacy should be vigilantly and continuously cultivated in any marriage.
It’s about being vulnerable and still feeling safe. It’s created in private moments through shared experiences.
One of the most important ways to nurture this intimate connection is to spend time alone together, concentrating on each other.
When it comes to massage, you are focusing your absolute attention – even your hands! – on each other in a quiet moment together. Try it and watch your intimate connection skyrocket.
3. Fall In Love (Again!)
When we are in our early courtship phase of our relationship, we have the very distinct experience of falling in love with each other: we get butterflies in our tummy, it’s hard to sleep or eat or think of anything other than our object of affection… our brains quite literally mimic the brain of an addict!
We become addicted to the person we love, and it’s wonderful.
This head-over-heels phase never lasts past 18 months (probably for the best; how would we ever get anything done?) after which it gives way to a deeper, more trusting, bonded love.
However. Researchers have found that simply introducing some novelty into your relationship will ignite your brain with a surge of feel-good hormones, the very same hormones that are present when we first fall in love!
This novelty needn’t be big and dramatic – a small alteration to your daily routine, trying out a new cuisine or learning a new skill together.
When it comes to new skills, massage has to be way up there on the list as recommended for couples. You can do it from the comfort of your lounge room, it’s cheap, fun and easy and the fact that you’ll quite literally have your hands all over each other makes it romantic and exciting too. Cue tummy-butterflies!
4. An Amazing Stay-home Date Night
Scheduled date nights are so important. It’s time you carve out mindfully in your week for your spouse where you can turn off your mobile phone, shut down the laptop and focus one hundred per cent on your spouse.
When you’re massaging, there is no stressful talk of money, or the bad day you had at work.
It’s a chance to be together alone, to relax and to spoil each other with love.
Turn your simple massage into a romantic date night with all the trimmings: light candles, play your partner’s favorite music, have a living room floor picnic with a bottle of wine.
Treating each other to a massage is an easy date night to set up, it’s very cheap to do and you can make it a regular weekly thing, learning new massage strokes or trying new routines each time to keep it fresh and new.
What a beautiful way to spend quality time together as a couple.
5. Slows Time Down
We have high-speed wifi and high-speed attention spans these days. Is it just me, or does it sometimes seem like the world spins a little faster than it did 10 years ago?
Some nights, you just want to stop, breathe and slow time down.
Massaging your partner is great practice in doing this. You get to focus on just one thing (a wonderful remedy for chronic multi-taskers), you need to mindfully relax into your massage (there are no points for finishing first in massage!) and you can get completely lost in the little world you set up for you and your partner.
Carving out this extra time and space for your marriage to abundantly thrive is vital to your relationship.
Pause. Breathe. Connect. Love… Just be.
Each moment we have here together is precious and massage is a lovely way to stretch those moments out while connecting completely with your spouse.
How to Enjoy Massage In YOUR Marriage
The info above was provided by friends of mine who know a thing or two about massage – Denis and Emma Merkas are the amazingly talented Australian couple behind Couples Massage Courses.
Bethany and I discovered their video courses a little while back, and I have to tell you they’ve made a powerful difference in our intimacy.
Whether it’s a short foot rub done the right way or a date night complete with an awesome 15-minute neck/shoulder massage, it’s really amazing how much good massage can do for a relationship.
I’ve tried doing back massages before, but the results were less than stellar:
- I made her neck sore.
- My hands hurt after about two minutes.
- I didn’t really know what do with my hands and felt a little awkward.
- I caused more pain than pleasure.
Can you relate? It turns out that a deeply enjoyable massage isn’t hard at all once you learn the basics the right way.
I’ll let Denis explain his approach to massage and what it’s meant for he and Emma’s marriage:
After I raved about their video series and asked what we could do to bring the magic of couples massage to our community, Denis and Emma graciously agreed to give a BIG discount to Engaged Marriage readers on their premium Melt Massage video course.
When you join through this special link, you’ll get the best of everything:
- Lifetime, unlimited access to all their high-quality video courses, ready to stream directly to your smart TV, laptop, iPad or tablet. Watch as many times as you like.
- 17 simple and easy massage techniques, broken down stroke by stroke by a professional massage therapist
- 3 follow-along massage routines that combine our signature strokes into a 5-minute, 15-minute and epic 30-minute massage routine
- All techniques are designed for the home. No special equipment needed. Learn in your living room. Just add oil.
- All their follow-along routines are downloadable when you sign up for lifetime access. That means you can put them on your device and take them with you next time you have a weekend away without your wifi access!
Everything is absolutely PG-rated with fully clothed demonstrations by Denis and Emma of the massage techniques. While your experience together may very well be sensual, these videos are definitely done in good taste.
And you’ll save money simply because you’re an EM reader – how cool is that!
Just click here to get all the details and grab your couple’s massage course – I guarantee you’ll love it and your husband or wife will love you even more for investing in it!
Enjoy and let us know how your first massage date night goes. 😉