We snicker at such a scenario because it’s just so… well, crazy! Who among us can even remotely imagine any husband consistently having sex without the likelihood of climaxing?
Not me. Not you. Not anyone, really.
Yet, many wives experience sex with no pleasure on a regular basis. They rarely or never climax during sexual intimacy.
The reasons for a wife’s lack of sexual pleasure vary.
Some don’t think they deserve it. Some have yet to learn enough about their own bodies to understand what it will take for them to climax. Other wives have husbands who are selfish lovers, devoting not even an ounce of compassion toward their wife’s orgasm.
Of course, there are more than a few wives who entered marriage with distorted theology — that sex is gross or wrong or “just for him” or serves no other purpose beyond baby-making.
For a wife peering through the lens of skewed theology, she remains entrenched in a Christian rhetoric void of the biblical message that her sexual pleasure in marriage is good and sacred — even God-designed.
And then there also are wives who just see no value in having an orgasm. Maybe they’ve had one; maybe they haven’t. For whatever reason, though, they are too tired, too spent, too done to give even a passing glance at sex in general, let alone sex that is soul-drenching and mind-blowing.
Are you in any of the above camps?
He could have left it out, you know.
He is the creator of the universe, after all. It’s His gig. He called all the shots. He spoke and things appeared. Animals, plants, water, sky, people. The very design of your body was His idea alone.
Your clitoris was His idea. And it serves no other purpose but sexual pleasure. No. Other. Purpose.
Clearly, sexual pleasure isn’t just for your husband. It is for you too.
If we as married Christians long to have His truths flood our hearts, then why do we stumble in embracing His gift of orgasm? The Lord has vested interest in your sexual pleasure. Do you?
I can tell when my husband and I have gone too long without sex. We just aren’t very nice to each other.
On the other hand, when we are regularly enjoying and nurturing our sexual intimacy, it softens us to each other. We are able to extend more grace. We like each other better. It makes our house run smoother and it sets a good example for our kids.
Yes, you climaxing is good for your marriage.
If you are experiencing sexual pleasure, then sex isn’t just something on your “to do” list. It becomes a priority.
And if your husband is like most husbands, he enjoys sex more when you climax. (If you are a husband reading this and you are a selfish lover, stop it. You are robbing your marriage and your wife. And dishonoring the Lord.)
I could have written that orgasm is a great stress reducer and that all these wonderfully healthy things happen in your body when you climax. That’s all true, by the way.
BUT, at the core of those benefits (and #1 and #2 mentioned above) is this element of exclusivity.
A husband and wife being able to bring each other sexual pleasure is an experience exclusive to their marriage relationship. They can’t get it some place else, at least not biblically or morally.
Why does that matter? Because something reserved only for the two of you carries with it profound and tender significance. Climaxing is a spiritual, physical and emotional manifestation of your covenant relationship.
Yes, your orgasm matters. If you are sexually inhibited or simply want to know the best kept secret to mind-blowing sex, then decide today to right the ship on making sexual pleasure less of an “extra” and more of a “sure thing.”
Julie Sibert writes and speaks about sexual intimacy in marriage. You can follow her blog at www.IntimacyInMarriage.com. She lives in Omaha, Nebraska, with her husband and their two boys. When she's not writing, she's probably drinking ridiculously overpriced coffee.