Do This to Instantly Be Happier (it may shock your spouse)

Do This to Instantly Be HappierIf you ever find yourself feeling stressed out or even overwhelmed by all the things you have to do, you’re going to love this post.

I’m going to share with you one of the BEST and EASIEST things you can do to bring more happiness to your home.

Check it out and then share it with your spouse today so you can take action together.

It could change your life.

How’s That Balanced Approach Workin’ for Ya?

I’m sure you’re familiar with the idea of “work-life” balance or other similar terms.

You’ve probably heard some “expert” on Oprah or Dr. Phil telling a young husband or wife that they need better balance.  You’ve gotta get things in check and be balanced in all areas of your life, right?

WRONG.

In the lives we live today, no two days are typically the same and no two weeks are ever the same.

Between the demands of trying to share quality time with our spouse, raise our kids, work, attend any number of evening activities, exercise, take care of the house, contribute to our community, hang out with our friends, enjoy hobbies…well you get the idea.

If you tried to maintain balance between all of your responsibilities, you’d not only go crazy, you’d fail.  If you’re like me, you’ve probably tried it and then beat yourself up for not being able to pull it off.

Forget Balance – Do This Instead

The good news is that balancing your time is not important.  In fact, it’s probably harmfully unrealistic and stressful.

Happy families do not have balance. They have BOUNDARIES. (click here to tweet this out)

Let me explain.

At this stage in your life, you should forget about trying to keep your time balanced – instead, set healthy boundaries and stick to them as much as possible.

By boundaries, I mean you set both space but especially time boundaries.  You have work time, spouse time, kid time and so forth.  These are planned ahead and agreed upon with your family.

This may seem subtle, but it’s incredibly freeing and really powerful.

  • Spouse time is not work time, so you can put your phone away and actually have a focused conversation with your husband or wife.
  • Kid time is not chore time (at least not always), so you can play with dolls now, fully present, and take care of paying bills later.
  • Time spent on side businesses, self-education or hobbies you love is specified and held within healthy boundaries as well, so you can fully enjoy it within some self-imposed constraints that your spouse has agreed to.

Multi-tasking doesn’t work, and it cheats both you and your loved ones.  Don’t try it.

You may think you don’t have time to use boundaries in your busy life.  The truth is you don’t have time NOT to, and you’re wasting so many wonderful opportunities right now if you’re trying to be balanced.

Make A Change Today

If your marriage is anything like ours, this idea of setting healthy, specific boundaries on your time may be pretty foreign.

When you bring it up to your spouse, they may be a little shocked by what you’re suggesting.

If your schedule has been out of control for a while (like ours was), the suggestion of communicating about how you spend your time as a family and committing to some changes proactively may seem to come from left field.

But it’s so worth it – you can instantly reduce stress and guilt in your relationship and bring more happiness to your home.

Here’s a quick rundown of how to get started:

  1. Ask your spouse to read this post with you and set a time after the kids are in bed to talk about your family schedule.
  2. Share where you’ve felt frustrated both by where you’d like to spend more guilt-free time and where you’d like to cut back.  Your spouse should do the same so you can have an open conversation.
  3. Together, agree on just ONE boundary you want to put in place this week.  You can always add more later, but you want to start off simply and see how well this works for you.

What does a boundary look like?  It can take any form really, but here are some sample ideas for you to consider:

  • Phone/computer blackout zone (you can’t use them) between 6-8 p.m. to preserve family time
  • Side business/hobby time only before 7 a.m. before the rest of the house is awake
  • Minimum of 15 minutes of Couple Time at 8:30 p.m. when the kids are in bed
  • Always go to bed together at 11 p.m.

The right boundaries will be specific to your household, but you can see how setting a few at different times of the day can provide clarity and consistency that your whole family will appreciate.

It doesn’t take a big change to make a BIG difference in your marriage and family life!

Opt In Image
Reignite the Passion in Your Marriage…No Matter How Busy You Are!
See what you can do in just 15 minutes a day...

Discover how you can refresh your marriage and rock your communication, romance, sex life and finances in just 15 minutes a day.

It's time to enjoy each other the way you did before your busy life got in the way.

About Dustin

Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.

Comments

  1. Dustin:

    My pet peeve is those folks who can’t put their phone down for half an hour to have dinner, to take a moment to talk to someone in person.

    I want to shout at them: The world will go on without your constant intervention.

    I understand that those with kids have some responsibility to be available to them but unless your little ones are very small even they can manage some time on their own.

    Once upon a time–before the cell phone age–folks used to leave home and you didn’t speak to them again until they came back. Under those alien conditions, life not only carried on–it thrived.

    If you’re with me–say out for dinner–be with me. Don’t have your head down, constantly interacting with folks who aren’t there.

    I’m a business guy so I understand that a certain amount of outside communication may be unavoidable. Regulating that outside communication so that you can spend quality time with the people most important to you is an essential healthy relationship move.

    • I’m SO with you on this, Adam! Thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts – it’s such an important issue when it comes to having these healthy boundaries around quality time with our spouse and kids.

      Best,

      Dustin

  2. Absolutely!

    I have severe fatigue and am a depressive,which means trying for a strict, rigid balance only works for so long. So instead my husband has started asking me to set aside time to just be outin the living room with him. (I work at home and also blog, so a lot of it is just about getting me away from the computer.)

    We still both use other devices too much, but it’s a start. Boundaries are easier to maintain than a nebulous balance. Setting tangible goals is key.

Speak Your Mind

*