The Role Kindness Plays In Romance

By Debi Walter | Romance

I’ve noticed lately, especially when driving around Orlando, that kindness on the road is greatly lacking.

What happened to those who used to let you in when you were trying to merge onto a busy highway?

Or when you slow down to let another car merge into your lane, what has happened to the wave of the hand to say, “Thanks!”

I’ve noticed many times after parking my car at Costco and walking towards the entrance, I’m nearly hit by a rude driver not willing to stop and let me cross the road in front of them. Or when I’m the driver and have stopped to let someone cross in front of me, they take their time without regard to my time spent waiting.

What has happened to kindness behind the wheel–kindness in our culture–kindness in general?

Have we become so absorbed into our own schedules that our rudeness to strangers seems justified? And isn’t it most likely true, that these attitudes will have some influence on how we express kindness to our spouse?

When our kindnesses are cut off like this over and over, it tends to make us cynical and vengeful.

Many husbands who have had a rough day being ill-treated by others, come home only to take their frustrations out on their unsuspecting family. Likewise many wives who have been the recipient of stressful attitudes all day long are tempted to vent to the ones she loves most.

The Bible reminds us that we are to…

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 ESV

When we are purposing to show kindness to our spouse, we are not thinking cold, uncaring thoughts towards them. Instead our thoughts go to ways we know will bless them.

What does all this talk of kindness have to do with romance? Everything!

Romance starts and ends with showing kindness to our spouse. (click here to tweet this)

It can be as simple as fixing a favorite drink for them when they walk in the door after a rough day, or going all out to plan an unsuspected night out on the town.

Romance is all about knowing your spouse well enough to realize when they need some special attention.

I remember one time Tom had had a particularly difficult week at work. Kindness was not on his company’s agenda, and he felt beat up on several levels. Friday had finally arrived, and he was due home within the hour.

I got the idea to make him a special surprise–a banner hung in the garage that said, “Welcome To Your Weekend!” When he walked in the door I had his favorite snack waiting and sent him to our room to relax and unwind before dinner.

It was a simple kindness, but very romantic. And best of all? It didn’t cost much at all!

Have you bought the lie that romance is complicated and expensive? Or that it requires too much effort?

Well, I encourage you to think otherwise.

Tell me, what is one kindness you can show to your spouse today that will make them smile?

Give it a try and see if kindness doesn’t begin taking root in your home–and maybe, just maybe it’ll make it behind the wheel of your car as well. 🙂 Kindness has a way of spreading to those who need it most.

Check out this excellent post by my friend, Cindy Wright at Marriage Missions International, for ideas on how to show random acts of kindness towards your spouse.  Or this great list of 74 Simple Things You Can Do to Brighten Your Spouse’s Day here at Engaged Marriage.

Until next month…let’s practice romance…and be kind to each other!

 

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About the Author

Tom and Debi Walter have been cultivating their romantic vineyard for most of their 36 years of marriage. It has been their conviction from the start. Now they are passionate about helping other couples discover the rich harvest of romance available to them no matter the current season. Through their marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard established in 2008, they provide regular posts about growing your marriage for God’s glory.