The Rhythm Of Romance

What do you think of when you hear the word “Romance”?

Most likely you think of goosebumps and floating hearts while soft music plays as you dance together under a starlit sky.

Sure these things can be a part of the romance you experience as husband and wife, but it doesn’t occur most of the time, nor does it have to.

After 35 years of marriage, Tom and I have come to a place of enjoying romance on a daily basis, and you probably wouldn’t notice it if you were to spend an afternoon with us.

You see, romance is so much more than Hallmark could ever express. It is more than Hollywood could ever depict on the big screen.

It is made up of the thousand little choices we make each and every day. 

Romance is how we talk to each other. It’s saying please and thank you. It’s extending common courtesies to each other without expecting anything in return. It’s being nice and kind. But it’s more…

Romance is doing things for each other without having to be asked. It’s taking out the garbage without being reminded. It’s keeping up with whatever household task is important to your spouse. It’s found in the doing, not just the hearing. But it’s more…

Romance is about listening. I heard one man say that he can be talking to a group of guys in a crowded room, but when his wife touches his arm and says his name, he stops everything to listen to her voice above all the others. He has made her his highest priority, and she knows it. Can your spouse interrupt you and find your smile waiting? and not your frustration? or worse–your anger? But it’s more…

Romance is about the hundreds of daily choices you make. It’s preferring your spouse’s desires to your own. It’s choosing to believe the best about them and not expect the worst. It’s not always easy to put your spouse first–we are such selfish beings, but to those who find the way to do this–romance is alive and well in that relationship. But it’s more…

Romance is the sharing of the mundane days of life. There is no one on the earth who has shared the same experiences as me more than my husband. We have faced joy and trial, triumph and defeat. We have helped each other up and we have caught each other when we’ve fallen.  It is waking up each morning to bed head, and morning breath and seeing the gift they still are to you. But romance is much more…

Romance is the lifeblood of marriage. It is the activity of love that flows through your oneness. It may look completely different in your relationship, but as long as the two of you enjoy it–That. Is. Enough.

This is why comparing your marriage with someone else’s is never profitable. Each marriage expresses romance in a way that is unique to them alone. We have no right to judge, criticize or elevate one marriage over another.

Our responsibility is to learn the rhythm of romance in our own home.

Do you recognize it when you hear it? It may be playing loud and clear, but only those who are tuned in will hear.

Why don’t you sit for a few moments today and consider how romance plays out in your marriage? Pray and ask God to open your ears to hear it more clearly. He will help you–after all marriage was His idea in the first place, and so was romance.

 

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About Debi Walter

Tom and Debi Walter have been cultivating their romantic vineyard for most of their 34 years of marriage. It has been their conviction from the start. Now they are passionate about helping other couples discover the rich harvest of romance available to them no matter the current season. Through their marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard established in 2008, they provide regular posts about growing your marriage for God's glory.

Comments

  1. Romance is also that special look your spouse has for you. You can show your romance in the way you hold hands in the crowd, how you listen attentively to what your spouse has to say and the overwhelming feeling that both mean a lot to each other. The unwinding feeling you get when you enter your home is an intense romance which has to felt by all couples.

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