Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from one of my favorite online writers, Ali Hale. And no, the words “jewellry” and “realised” are not misspelled. Ali is in England, and apparently this is how these words are spelled in “real” English. 🙂
I’m not really a jewellery person. I’m never sure what to buy, and I always convince myself I don’t need it.
My fiancé, though, has great taste in jewellery. He’s given me various pieces over the five years since we met. My favourites are a beautiful necklace with delicate butterflies on it, which was a 21st birthday gift… and my engagement ring.
We got engaged last November. For the first month or two, it felt weird to wear a ring. I hardly ever put on jewellery unless I’m going out in the evenings, and I’ve never had any rings. Every so often – perhaps putting on gloves, or preparing to do the dishes – I’d notice the ring.
And every time, I’d smile. Whenever I was feeling down or upset or gloomy about things, just looking at that ring was a pick-me-up.
Back in those early days of dating, the summer of 2005, I would walk around with a goofy grin of my face. Every time I thought of my boyfriend, the guy I’d admired from afar for months, who I’d thought would never notice me … I just couldn’t help grinning.
When I was a teen, I thought I’d never get married. For one thing, I’d never had a boyfriend. For another, I knew I liked my own company. I’m a bit of an introvert, and I like to do my own thing and be my own person.
I was worried that marriage would mean letting someone get too close. I thought that if I wore a ring, it’d mean I belonged to someone.
It’s not like that, though. When I look at that ring, I don’t feel pressured or somehow subject. I feel loved. I think of my fiancé, and I think of how miraculous it is that I’ve found someone who I trust so deeply and care about so much, and that he wants to spend his entire life with me. Me!
After a few weeks of wearing my ring, I realised that it felt odd whenever it was off my hand. If I woke up and forgot to put it on straight away, my hand felt strange, empty, bereft. If I took the ring off, I didn’t feel quite right until I put it on again.
We’ve been having an up and down few months. He’s had exams; I’ve been trying to grow my business. We’re in the middle of moving house. We’re planning a wedding – we never realised quite how many decisions there’d be to make!
It’s easy to get caught up in the frustrations of the moment. But that ring keeps me grounded. It helps me focus on what’s important – our commitment to one another, our lifetime together.
Question from Dustin for the readers: Do you wear a wedding/engagement ring? Is it important to you that your spouse wears their ring?(photo source)
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.