Every couple gets into arguments with one another. In many cases, these arguments happen on a daily basis.
Hopefully, level heads prevail, but couples will inevitably encounter times when the discussion can turn a bit ugly.
With the divorce rate being approximately 41% for first marriages, it is crucial that every couple learns how to handle heated arguments.
Understanding the Differences Between Men and Women
It’s important to understand the differences between men and women in relation to handling an argument. Women tend to be more emotional and react to their feelings. On the contrary, men tend to be less emotional and more matter-of-fact.
During an argument, a woman may get even more upset and emotional if their spouse isn’t showing any sign of emotion, because it might make her think that he doesn’t really care. Similarly, a man may not understand why his wife is upset and crying about something that he doesn’t think is that big of a deal.
By understanding these key differences, you can try to better relate to your spouse by putting the situation into his or her perspective.
Speaking with a Calm Voice
During an argument, it is crucial that you do not shout or yell at your spouse. Instead, speak with a calm voice.
Yelling tends to make the situation worse. When one starts to yell, the other feels the need to yell even louder. This can cause both parties to get even angrier, causing the argument to turn into a screaming contest, instead of actually discussing the issue at hand.
When you speak in a calm voice, you send a message to your partner that you really want to resolve the issue and come to an agreement.
Bringing up Issues from the Past
Arguing can bring up old familiar feelings. Perhaps the current issue reminds you of something bad that happened in your relationship previously. However, it is essential that you do not bring these feelings from the past into the current argument.
When you do this, it shows your spouse that you haven’t truly forgiven them. This can add fuel to the fire, starting a whole new argument.
It may be difficult to push these feelings back, but doing so can help save a marriage by focusing on resolving the current issue you and your spouse are experiencing.
Agree to Disagree
Occasionally, it will be impossible for you and your spouse to reach an agreement during an argument. This is when you simply have to agree to disagree.
After doing so, you can set a compromise to resolve your quarrel, and get back to marital bliss.
What tips would you add to this list from your own experience with heated arguments?
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.