Marriage and Great Communication: Ageless Advice from Aged Couples
Have you ever attended a wedding reception where they have a dance for married couples and the D.J. makes the couples sit down based on the length of their marriage? First, the newlyweds are gone, then the 5-year whippersnappers, then the measly 10-year marriages, then 20, 30, 40…and then it gets interesting.
Once you get into the 50-year plus range of marriage, you are dealing with some major geriatric wonders. I mean these people have not only lived for 70, 80 or even 90 years, but they have survived more than a half a century of marriage…with the same person.
My wife and I have been to a lot of weddings over the course of our relationship, and I can honestly say that I have grown to appreciate the “Anniversary Dance” more and more through the years. No, it’s not the music, which is generally pretty lame so as to keep pace with said geriatric wonders, it’s the candid marriage advice that the winning couple is asked to give to the newly married bride and groom after the dance (and before they’re allowed to sit down and rest).
Ageless Advice
Almost invariably, the man answers the request for the best advice they have to offer with something along the lines of “Do what she says” or “Listen to her and you won’t get hurt” or some other short quip that old men tell best.
The woman usually seems just a bit embarrassed by the attention and the need to speak into a microphone, but with a quick gaze into the eyes of her long-time husband (who at this point is really feeling the ache in his knees and badly wants to sit down) she gives her advice.
And from my experience, the elder bride sums up her marriage advice with something similar to “Don’t go to bed angry” or “Always communicate well with each other.”
There you have the golden marriage advice that holds true for every generation: Great Communication makes a Great Marriage. Take a look at all of the blog categories listed on the sidebar of this website (these will continue to grow as I fill in the blanks with new posts): Finances, Sex, Spirituality, Children, Marriage Preparation, Household Management, Individual Fulfillment and Romance. These are the major issues facing our marriages, and every critical topic requires solid communication for success.
Stay tuned for a variety of posts and great resources related to having awesome and open communication in your marriage. In the meantime, remember that the first rule is that communication is a two-sided coin that requires both effective talking and excellent listening. Even after 50-plus years of marriage, those old, happy couples that we can all admire still remember Rule #1 and recognize its timeless value.
Photo courtesy of maveric2003
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10 Responses to “Marriage and Great Communication: Ageless Advice from Aged Couples”
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[...] Don’t Go to Bed Angry. I found this article on the Love Coach Blog, and it rung a bell since it relates to my earlier post about Great Communication. [...]
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[...] longer and enjoy a higher quality of life with your spouse. Heck, maybe you’ll even win an Anniversary Dance one day if you really get in [...]
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[...] Don’t Go to Bed Angry. I found this article on the Love Coach Blog, and it rung a bell since it relates to my earlier post about Great Communication. [...]
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[...] Finish the fight. Don’t go to bed with unresolved anger. [...]
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[...] very different experiences last weekend that gave me a very valuable reminder of the importance of good communication. As you will see, neither unfortunate event had anything to do with marriage, but I think they [...]
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[...] is even more important. It has been estimated that over ninety percent of the effectiveness of communication is facilitated by nonverbal cues. Obviously, it’s important to understand how improving [...]
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[...] is even more important. It has been estimated that over ninety percent of the effectiveness of communication is facilitated by nonverbal cues. Obviously, it’s important to understand how improving [...]
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Dustin!
Great stuff man – loving the site. And I had first hand experience with the Anniversary Dance – almost like you suggested. At our wedding we did the Dance…and my grandparents were the longest married…57 years…and this year they renewed their vows of 63 years…
I wasn’t able to ask my grandfather what his thoughts were on his marriage, but grandma said – ‘You have to love them thru everything – good and bad, and look to God – in the last handful of years, we have really leaned on Him’.
I thought that was a great statement. As their grandkid, I had heard stories of rough times in the early days – so it is cool they are relying on God so much more now in their Golden years!!
I totally want to see an anniversary dance to YMCA one day though.
.-= Stu´s last blog ..I Get That All The Time =-.
I really think communication is the key to a great relationship. I’ve found that once I talk to my parter about something, then the real issues come out and the tension is relieved.
.-= Kelsey´s last blog ..Brosix Agenda 2010 =-.
Absolutely, Kelsey. Thanks for finding this post and commenting on it!