Comments on: Marriage as a Competitive Sport

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 28 May 2010 16:18:21 +0000

You guys are doing a great job of affirming each other and patting each other on the back. I’m truly happy for you that you and your spouses are reasonable individuals and that you are willing to change when you see the need. However, there are just some people who do not want to get along, and the only time that they are happy is when they have done their best to make their spouse miserable. If you don’t think these people exist, then ask the woman who thought that every bad marriage was the fault of the wife, until her good husband died and she remarried to one that was not nearly so good and did not want to become good. The woman was the same, but she could not make a good marriage by herself. She finally kicked him out. Perhaps it was God’s plan to make her a little more compassionate on others who are suffering in a bad relationship … and less judgemental. Your advice is great for ‘reasonable’ individuals (I wish that were everyone) but it only adds guilt on top of guilt, false hope, and bitter diappointment for the rest of those who are faithful, but stuck in a bad relationship.

By: Susan Mallery

Susan Mallery — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:08:46 +0000

Nicely said, Dustin.

By: Susan Mallery

Susan Mallery — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 14:27:35 +0000

I love that, Scott! “I’m happy to do it your way.” You’re so right – often what is a petty annoyance to one partner means nothing at all to the other partner, so he or she is willing to change a way of doing things without any argument at all. Great point!

By: Dustin

Dustin — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 03:44:17 +0000

Thanks, Scott! I definitely agree with your statement about balancing the need to express something vs. just letting it slide. It seems the longer I am married, the better I get at finding that healthy balance. For me, that usually means letting more things slide (like the light switch example in my earlier comment).

By: Dustin

Dustin — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 03:41:53 +0000

Thank you so much for your great insights, Cathy! I totally agree with your advice, and I give a resounding second to your recommendation of The Five Love Languages. I’ll be reviewing that great book here soon!