And it’s especially vital to communicate well within your marriage. Remember how much you used to talk early in your relationship and how much you enjoyed it?
As our relationships mature and life gets increasingly complicated, it’s really easy for our conversations and our actions to grow a bit stale. And it’s not just that life changes, but we change as individuals as well.
Whenever couples reach out to me with concerns about a lack of quality communication, or even just lamenting that the level of intimacy in their relationship isn’t what they desire, I consistently point to one resource.
The Love Languages & Why They Matter
I’m quite fond of my own book 15 Minute Marriage Makeover and the positive impact it’s had for hundreds of busy couples, but it’s not my first recommendation when it comes to marriage books.
The book I tell every couple I know to read is The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Dr. Gary Chapman.
This amazing (and refreshingly simple) resource is all about understanding how our spouse/significant other best communicates so we can live happier, healthier lives together.
While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, Dr. Gary Chapman identified five specific love languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
I bet that even without reading the book you can immediately relate to some of these categories. Can you already see which areas you speak best in, and which areas apply to your spouse?
The Five Love Languages will lead you through a fun and rewarding process of discovering the love languages in your marriage. And with that knowledge, you can improve all aspects of your relationship with your spouse. See what I mean about the importance of great communication?
Finding Your Love Language
I highly recommend you and your spouse each read this book and benefit from Dr. Chapman’s experience and down-to-earth style. It’s helped over 7 million couples, including Bethany and I, take their marriage to the next level.
Dr. Chapman also offers a free online assessment that you can do right away to learn your love language and start the conversation with your spouse – check out the free assessment here.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Chapman for Engaged Marriage on a variety of topics including the keys to great sex, marriage preparation and of course Love Languages. You can listen to my interview with Dr. Gary Chapman for some additional insights.
Have you put the Five Love Languages to use in your marriage? I’d love to hear your Language and how discovering it has impacted your relationship in the comments below!