On the other hand, I do somewhat agree with Tanya. If Dear Hubby and I both walk into the same room, we can both see the dirty laundry overflowing the hamper, and both of us are parents to our children, not just me. It would be inappropriate for Dear Hubby to be so uninvolved that he doesn’t know what his own children are learning, when things are due, etc. For example, we are spouses and committed to loving for life, but to place that burden on wife alone is just not cool. If he were a single dad would he rise to the occasion and know when things are due? Then he should put forth that same amount of effort when he has the good grace of a life partner to help him bear that duty. Now bear in mind this is my own personal opinion only! And I do know that some partners have talents/skills in different areas. Still…I do think that BOTH should see the laundry and think “There is laundry to put in the wash” and maybe carry it and load it together (as an example). Likewise, it would be utterly appropriate for the hubby to know the kids’ project is due and they’ll need orange paint, and to stop on his way home from work to get it for them…because HE took the initiative to be as involved as a single father would be.

Perhaps in your household you typically take the lead in lawn care, changing the oil in the cars or feeding the livestock each morning. The actual tasks are not important, but the fact is that in most households we all tend to become the de-facto contributors in different areas of the household management. I’m sorry if you felt like I was somehow making the statement that women should be minimized and automatically assumed to take full responsibility in particular areas. That was not at all the intent, nor do I actually feel that way (which I think would become quite evident as you read many of the other posts here).

It sounds like you can’t read my mind (about my intent) any better than I can read my wife’s! Just to be clear: I love women. I value their role as equals. I would never assume that women as a whole should fill any particular role in the household. And I would love to have you as a regular reader, contributor and challenger here at Engaged Marriage.

Does that help clarify my intentions and the actual purpose behind this post?

Sure, if a sweater he hasn’t washed 8 million times before needs special care or I have a paint preference, that needs to be communicated, but the fact that the larger two of your four examples really stem from gender stereotypes and don’t involve taking full responsibility for your actions is disturbing to me, given the amount of thought you’ve put into this.

So I found a guy that could read my mind and that doesn’t work either. Haha. Thanks for re-posting this one. I really enjoyed it.

Happy New Year to you!
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