Relationship 911: The First Step That Resuscitated My Marriage
Note: Happy Valentine’s Day! This is not your typical V-Day post, but I think it’s so much more important. Time management and finding quality time for your spouse are recurring themes here on Engaged Marriage for a reason…they are incredibly important!
I first met Nina when she and her husband joined our initial test group and then became early success stories using the Thrive90 Fitness program over at Fit Marriage. I knew they had taken the importance of recreational intimacy to heart, but it wasn’t until I read this guest post from Nina that I fully understood why. Enjoy!
Almost three years ago, I had divorce papers filled out and was ready to walk out the door.
My husband was home once a week while he was pursuing his paramedic degree, and I was pregnant and taking care of our 3 small children by myself. Yes, that is a recipe for disaster.
After years of problems ranging from pornography addiction to adultery, we were through. There was no way to save our broken marriage.
3 Tips to Finding Time to Date Your Spouse
You know a regular date night with your husband or wife is not only a great time, but it’s really key to enjoying a healthy relationship, right?
Well then, when was the last time you actually got away together for a few hours to enjoy some romance? I’m not talking about dinner out with the kids, and it doesn’t count if you were with a group of friends either.
While both of those are excellent ways to spend an evening, you really need some quality time alone to focus on each other.
We Don’t Have Time
If you are anything like us, I bet the constraint that’s holding you back more than anything else is a lack of time. We’re all so damn busy that it’s easy to jump from urgent task to urgent task, only to look up two months later and realize we haven’t had a single night out with our spouse.
Of course, some of this comes from being our own worst enemies and failing to manage our priorities properly. Sometimes, we even waste a lot of time on frivolous things like watching television or playing Angry Birds.
Have Yourself a Home Life: Simple Ways to Cut Down Office Time
Are you used to coming home from work after everyone else has gone to bed? Do you set yourself up at the kitchen table with stacks of files and your laptop, ignoring your family while you try to meet a deadline?
No one likes to feel that they live to work, and no one feels good about neglecting their family. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here are a few simple ways that you can spend more time at home with your loved ones, enjoying yourself, instead of glued to your computer screen pounding out those final emails.
Prioritize
You may have a legitimate reason for staying at the office late. However, a lot of this extra time can be avoided if your work is prioritized, starting at the beginning of the week.
Set a schedule for yourself, and work on the most urgent tasks first. There’s no reason to blow most of your working day on something unimportant when you have a massive presentation due in a couple of days.
You’d be amazed at how much prioritizing your tasks will cut out excessive time at work.
Absence Really Does Make the Heart Grow Fonder
I just returned home from a long weekend away with “the guys” on our annual bowhunting and camping trip. We don’t travel very far away, and the cost is minimal, but we do enjoy the chance to get together each year and spend some “man time” hunting, sitting around a campfire drinking beer and just doing manly things.
As she proves time and time again, Bethany is a total saint and doesn’t even complain too much when this trip comes up year after year. It might help that her Dad is part of our group and she likes us to have some time to bond, but I think she really just smiles (and probably cusses just a bit under breath) and wishes me good luck because she knows how much it means to me. She’s cool like that. 
I Wanna Go Home
As much as I enjoy this experience, I have to say that I start to grow quite homesick after a few days away. While sitting in a treestand for hours on end this year, I started to find my mind wandering to thoughts of hanging out with Bethany and guessing what the kids were doing at that moment. I was definitely ready to drive straight back to our house today to spend as much time as possible with my family.
What Are You Willing to Give Up?
My life has been crazy lately.
It’s been fantastic and exciting, but crazy. I am anxious to share the stories, thoughts and emotions that Bethany and I have experienced over the past few months, and I’ll be able to start doing so in just a week or so.
In the meantime, I wanted to reach out to our community with a question. It was a sense of overwhelm with my life, responsibilities and lack of any free time that served as a catalyst for the changes that we’re making in our marriage and family life.
The realization that accompanied the overwhelm led me to a very difficult question:
What am I (are we) willing to Give Up?
In other words, what areas of your life are you willing to say “NO” to in order to focus on what fulfills you and fits with your ideals? I know this is a difficult question, but I’m sure it’s something we’ve all been faced with in our high-speed, over-committed lifestyles.
In the comments below, please share one thing that you’ve given up or plan to give up to improve your life and marriage.
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I'm Dustin, the guy behind Engaged Marriage. I'm living and loving the crazy life of a young husband and Dad.
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