Engaged Marriage » Time Management

One Thing Leads to Another

Dustin — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:04:48 +0000

Note from Dustin: I’m a BIG fan of living intentionally, and I’ve learned a lot about it from Nina Nelson – aka “Shalom Mama.” I invited Nina to share her thoughts about how to get started toward better health – and a better marriage – in a simple way. I think you’ll love this post, and don’t miss the great giveaway at the end!

For years I was unhappy with my health.

I was overweight and felt uncomfortable with my body, wishing that I could feel better about myself. My activity level consisted of short walks and lifting my kids. And my diet was anything but healthy.

I was fed up with feeling that way.

In August 2010, my husband, Ian, and I were invited to be part of a test group for a new fitness program. I was excited to get in shape and feel better about my body.

While the workouts were fun and I was feeling stronger, I noticed that I wasn’t losing weight. That’s when I took a hard look at the food I was eating and realized something had to change. I took control of my portion sizes, stopped eating grains and sugar (for weight loss and food allergy purposes) and started eating a lot more veggies.

I started melting.

I realized that I couldn’t approach my health from only one angle. I had to be intentional about every aspect if I wanted to feel good all the time. Taking care of other needs like rest, relationships and spirituality also moved to a higher priority as I realized that holistic wellness involved more than just my body.

Through these changes, my body became healthier and I feel better now than I ever have. But something else was affected by being more intentional about my health.

My marriage got better.

As Ian and I started working out together, we began to have a lot more fun. Instead of doing jumping jacks in one place, he would chase me around the room, looking silly as could be. Jumping jacks are more challenging when you’re giggling…

Our dates also became more intentional. Instead of the typical dinner and a movie, we sought more adventurous things to do. Ian had always been in pretty great shape, but I was not. I was usually reluctant to do anything physical before for fear that he would get frustrated with me. I didn’t want to be embarrassed.

But with my new strength and endurance, I was ready to go on hikes and do other fun things outside. I quickly found that outdoor dates really made Ian come alive. And my willingness to “play” outside with him really made him feel loved. Our intimacy grew in areas that it never really had before.

And I’m happy to say that he found my new self-confidence incredibly sexy. Win.

It just took one simple change. One decision to become more intentional about health. A decision that quickly spilled over into other areas of our lives. Our finances. Our parenting. Our relationships with other people. And our relationship with each other.

Health can be simple. Marriage doesn’t have to be complicated. It just takes one decision and the intentional action to make it happen.

Are you ready?

Win a Copy of Simple Natural Health!

Nina just released her new e-book Simple Natural Health, and I have to say that it is fantastic! And I’m excited because she has generously agreed to give away a copy to one lucky Engaged Marriage reader.

To enter this giveaway, all you have to do is go check out the book, then come back here and a leave a comment describing why you think Simple Natural Health would help you and your marriage.

I will select one commenter at random to win the book at Noon CST on Friday, February 3rd. Good luck!

NOTE: If you’d like to pick up a copy, Nina has also set up a special 10% off discount that expires at Noon on February 2nd. This is good for the PDF version only, and you can get your discount by entering SIMPLE10 at checkout. Enjoy!

Nina Nelson is a wellness advocate, mama to four and wife to one. She writes regularly at Shalom Mama, inspiring others to live intentionally. She loves reading, snuggling and giggling at miniature horses.

___________________________________________________

Thank you for being a subscriber!

Check out the original post and leave a comment on the blog here: One Thing Leads to Another

Technorati Tags: Book Review, Exercise, family fun, Individual Fulfillment, Time Management

No related posts.

Do You Share Your Goals?

Dustin — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 13:34:45 +0000

The new year is here, which means that everyone is embarking on their New Year’s Resolutions.

Or maybe you don’t believe in doing the resolution thing, but you have a Life List of some sort (you might call it a Bucket List, or something else – it’s a list of goals that you want to complete in your lifetime).

Perhaps you don’t have any long term goals written down, preferring to store that particular list safely in your brain.

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of making your plans; “Once I get that raise I am going to buy that gadget” or “This year is going to be different, this year I’m going to exercise more.”

No matter what your goals are, do you take into account the most important part?

As someone who is married, it is vital to set your goals with your spouse.

1 + 1 > 2

There are a number of stories and jokes that have the following principle as their core: two items combined are stronger than the sum of the two individually.

I am sure you’ve heard it in some form, whether in two arrows being harder to break together than singly, two ropes combined being able to hold more weight than they could individually, or just a reference to two minds being better than one.

So it is with you and your spouse. Together, you are stronger and can accomplish more than either of you could individually, or even if you added your accomplishments together.

Why shared goals?

Not only will you be able to accomplish more when working together, but it will be easier.

By planning your goals together, you will ensure that not only are you working on the same goals, but you both know it. This can make a huge difference in how easy it is to reach your goal, simply because you are both working toward exactly the same thing, instead of just something similar (or perhaps opposite!).

Making sure that you are both working toward the exact same goal can save a lot of trouble. If you both agree that you want to “save more money this year” but have different dollar amounts in mind (let’s say $500 and $5,000) then you will both try to save but will be using completely different strategies. One of you won’t mind going out to eat each week while the other is hoping to cut out all extraneous spending until the goal is met.

Wouldn’t this be a lot less frustrating if both of you were on the same page?

I’m sure that you are saying that you’d never be working toward opposite goals. But just imagine that you wanted to save $5,000 to take that dream vacation together next year. However, your spouse’s goal is to redo their wardrobe in order to look more attractive for you.

Both are good goals that benefit the other person, but just imagine how hard it would be to see the money that you place in savings disappear a few days later!

How you help each other

There are a number of ways in which you and your spouse make each other stronger. Here are a few:

Provide Encouragement – There’s nothing like having your own personal cheerleader to help keep you going. And, assuming that you have shared goals, they will always be rooting for you to succeed.
Accountability Partner – Knowing that you have to tell someone the progress that you are making toward a goal goes a long way in helping you continue moving forward.
Motivation Booster – The two above combine together to help make sure that you’re always motivated to complete the goal.
New Ideas – That second viewpoint is always helpful, especially when you’re stuck.
Sounding Board – Maybe your spouse doesn’t have a new idea, but at least they can listen to you talk out the issue and help you think it through.
Fill in Strengths – It is commonly said that opposites attract. If that is true, then you and your spouse will have completely different strengths, and by working together you will be able to fill in each other’s weaknesses.
Reminder – Life is busy, and that goal you are working for in your spare time can be easily overlooked. Sometimes just having someone remind you can be invaluable.
Cover Your Back – Your spouse can help fill in the gaps while you are focused on reaching a shared goal. Perhaps you’re working over-time to get a raise, then your spouse can temporarily cover the tasks you normally take care of at home.

Setting goals together

Fortunately, setting a goal together is just like setting a goal by yourself, with the additional step of comparing notes and coming to a final conclusion together. Simply figure out what you want your future to look like:

“in 10 years we want to be debt free, be earning $x a year, and have visited all 50 states”

then break those goals into smaller steps:

“to be debt free we will cut up our credit cards, live off of one pay check and use the other to pay off debt”.

And then go further still if necessary:

“so that we can live off of one pay check we will cancel our cable, take our lunch to work, and only give ourselves $x spending money each month.”

As you can see, the end goal is very obtainable, but only if you work together.

Without being on the same page, you will inadvertently sabotage each other and struggle to meet the goal. However, by working together you are likely to reach your goal even faster than you thought possible.

What are some goals that you and your spouse share? Share them in the comments!

This post was written by Matthew from Adventure-Some.com Be sure to go grab his free e-book full of Ready to Go Dates for you to enjoy together in the New Year!

(photo source)

___________________________________________________

Thank you for being a subscriber!

Check out the original post and leave a comment on the blog here: Do You Share Your Goals?

Technorati Tags: Conflict Resolution, Date Night, Guest Post, Improve Yourself!, Time Management

Being Fat and Lazy is Hurting Our Families

Dustin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 20:04:03 +0000

How many times have you heard this expression?

“You don’t have anything if you don’t have your health?“

I’ve heard it thousands of times, and I’ve experienced first hand just how true it is in my own family. Yet, SO MANY individuals, married couples and families continue to live in a way that seems to totally disregard this truth. And there may be no bigger issue facing our marriages!

Let’s face it, we all know that we should be living a healthy lifestyle. Yet, the sad is reality is that most people simply don’t.

This is particularly frustrating when it’s parents setting a poor example for their children, or worse yet, directly leading them to a life of obesity, diabetes and other chronic health issues.

Consider These Facts

68% of Americans over the age of 20 are overweight & 34% are OBESE
20% of CHILDREN ages 6-11 are OBESE
Only 35% of American adults engage in regular physical activity
50 million Americans suffer from SLEEP problems & half these folks cite stress as the reason.
75% of Americans experience symptoms related to STRESS in a given month
Americans now spend spend more money on FAST FOOD than on higher education, personal computers, computer software or new cars.

Basically, the McDonald’s mindset is taking over our culture while

So What Can We Do About It?

It starts with each of us personally taking responsibility to improve our lifestyle and lead our families.

To make this a reality, we need the proper tools that fit the busy lives that we lead. I co-created a site called Fit Marriage, and there are a plethora of exercise and nutrition resources and tools available there.

We have literally helped thousands of people get fit, stay fit and enjoy their family lives with renewed vigor. I can’t describe how fulfilling it’s been to touch marriages and families through the gift of improved health.

Earlier this year, we released our super-popular Thrive90 Fitness program. This program put our training approach into action, and it’s already helped hundreds of busy couples get slim, strong and full of energy.

It’s been awesome, but it hasn’t been enough. Our community, which includes many of my friends here at Engaged Marriage, continues to tell us over and over that you need something different, something new, something that gets to the core issues holding you back from the fit lifestyle you desire.

So Here’s What I’m Coming To…

It’s Time to Share It ALL & Revolutionize Lives

Here’s the deal.

Fitness tools are good, and there are countless exercise and diet programs in the world. The people who use the good ones get amazing results, as we’ve seen with Thrive90.

The problem is most busy couples and on-the-go parents DON’T USE THEM.

The time has come for a holistic AND simple solution to lead busy families toward the fit and healthy lifestyle they crave.

I have literally received hundreds (probably thousands) of requests from busy couples and parents like you asking for help with:

Finding Time
Getting & Staying Motivated
Simplified Exercise & Nutrition (that just works for busy families)
Community, Accountability & Coaching

These requests come (in that order) every single time we ask our readers at Fit Marriage and clients what they struggle with most when it comes to their fitness. NO ONE IS ADDRESSING THESE ISSUES!

Tony and I are on a mission to empower families and make a healthy, fit lifestyle a happy reality in the lives of everyone that wants it.

To be effective, this has to go beyond sets and reps or diet plans. It must be holistic and specifically created to meet your needs as busy couples and parents.

I’m Making a FREE Resource Kit for You, IF You’re Interested in This New Approach to Family-First Fitness

I’ve been really humbled by the buzz surrounding my last blog post at Fit Marriage. There was some confusion about exactly what I was considering, but it’s clear that the BIG idea here resonated with many. There has been A LOT of interest in this holistic fitness system that we are POTENTIALLY developing.

But to test the waters…I’m making a value packed, 100% free “Fit & Busy Life Resource Kit” for you.

IF you’re serious about getting on-board and leading yourself and your family toward a fit lifestyle.

Here is what the free “Fit & Busy Life Resource Kit” may include:

A recorded interview of my story with how I got started with these techniques, the keys I learned from Tony and other fitness experts that finally made our family’s fit lifestyle “click” for good, and why this new approach has the power to fuel even the busiest family life.
A workout that demonstrates exactly the type of exercise routine you can use to achieve maximum fitness results in less than 30 minutes per session – at home and with your family, if you choose.
The “Getting Control of Your Time” primer that I personally developed to get super busy individuals moving forward with the confidence and mindset they need to achieve their fit lifestyle.

But Here’s the Catch

Because I’m a helpless perfectionist and will inevitably blow this thing way out of proportion…

…I want to get a list of everyone who is interested in a fit lifestyle and having this free “Fit & Busy Life Resource Kit.”

So Here’s What I Want You to Do

I’m making a list of everyone potentially interested in getting our free resource kit AND getting in at the start of all this.

Anyway, if you’re interested, then: (1) enter your email address below, and when it’s completed I’ll send it to you at the email address you list below (leaving a comment below with any suggestions on what you’d like to get from the kit would also help). If you already signed up for this over at Fit Marriage, there’s no need to do so again.

PLEASE NOTE: WE’VE NOW WRAPPED UP THIS PROJECT – YOU CAN CHECK OUT THE AWESOME PROGRAM THAT RESULTED BY CLICKING HERE. THANKS!

If you don’t want the free “Fit & Busy Life Resource Kit” then no worries. I just didn’t want our community here at Engaged Marriage to miss out on something that is so near and dear to my heart.

Here for you,

Dustin Riechmann

___________________________________________________

Thank you for being a subscriber!

Check out the original post and leave a comment on the blog here: Being Fat and Lazy is Hurting Our Families

Technorati Tags: Ask the Community, Fitness, Individual Fulfillment, Marriage Preparation, My Story, Time Management

3 Powerful Reasons to Reflect

Dustin — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 20:14:30 +0000

When’s the last time you sat down, without distractions, and really took some time to reflect on your life?

We are all so busy, and it’s easy to move along day after day doing what needs to be done without pausing to get a little perspective. I’m a big proponent of living in the present while planning for the future.

However, there is real value in looking back over our shoulders to see where we’ve come from.

My Reflections

I actually took advantage of this earlier today when I my wife was sweet enough to take care of the kids and let me sleep in for a bit. Today happens to be my 32nd birthday…and our daughter’s first birthday was just two days ago.

Well, I couldn’t sleep and my mind got to wandering. Naturally, I thought back to a year ago when we brought Avery home from the hospital.

I also found myself going to back 10 years when Bethany and I were newly married with NO idea what really was to happen in our lives. And, for some reason, I had a lot of thoughts from 25 years ago when I was just seven years old and having a rough time as the son of an abusive, alcoholic father.

Why You Should Reflect

I won’t go into the details of my own reflections since they aren’t important to you. However, I do want to share three powerful lessons that I took away from my quiet time to hopefully encourage you to find some time to reflect on your own life.

1. Count Your Blessings

Whether it’s your family, your career, your health or any other area of your life, there’s a good chance that you’ve been blessed by God with a lot of goodness. It’s incredibly easy to become complacent and take these things for granted.

Take some time to reflect, be thankful and pray for all of the typically unspoken blessings in your life. It will make you a better, more gracious person moving forward.

2. Learn From Your Mistakes

When you think back 10 years, it’s amazing to see what you have achieved for yourself and others. However, it’s also really valuable to see the mistakes that have been made along the way that sometimes can’t be recognized until you’ve gained new levels of experience.

Think over the major and seemingly minor, daily choices that you’ve made along the way and examine how you could have done better. You have the opportunity to learn from your past to make the future brighter.

3. Slow Things Down

In the busy lives that we all lead, this may be the most valuable benefit of all. Simply taking a little time to reflect on the pace of life and all that transpires in what seems like the blink of an eye can help us be mindful of the experiences we live.

Think about your marriage, your children and your own life, and you’ll realize how quickly it all goes by. Keep this in mind as you make choices about how to spend your time, and then savor every moment that you possibly can as you move forward.

Do you take regular time to reflect? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

(photo credit)

___________________________________________________

Thank you for being a subscriber!

Check out the original post and leave a comment on the blog here: 3 Powerful Reasons to Reflect

Technorati Tags: Children, Communication, Memories, My Story, Time Management

Relationship 911: The First Step That Resuscitated My Marriage

Dustin — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 10:00:39 +0000

Note: Happy Valentine’s Day! This is not your typical V-Day post, but I think it’s so much more important. Time management and finding quality time for your spouse are recurring themes here on Engaged Marriage for a reason…they are incredibly important!

I first met Nina when she and her husband joined our initial test group and then became early success stories using the Thrive90 Fitness program over at Fit Marriage. I knew they had taken the importance of recreational intimacy to heart, but it wasn’t until I read this guest post from Nina that I fully understood why. Enjoy!

Almost three years ago, I had divorce papers filled out and was ready to walk out the door.

My husband was home once a week while he was pursuing his paramedic degree, and I was pregnant and taking care of our 3 small children by myself. Yes, that is a recipe for disaster.

After years of problems ranging from pornography addiction to adultery, we were through. There was no way to save our broken marriage.

Or so I thought.

In the midst of tears and prayers, God sent me words of wisdom through several different people, and I began making the effort to change myself. After 6 years of ineffective nagging, I realized that this was the only thing I hadn’t tried, so I decided to submit and serve. And that was the catalyst for where we are today.

Coming back from the brink of divorce isn’t easy, and it takes time to rebuild the trust that was broken. But it is possible. And what’s better, is that your marriage can become better than it ever was. Way better.

So how did we do it? Seek out a counselor? Nope. Did that once and my husband swore never again. We did something much simpler than that, something we should have been doing all along.

We started to spend more time together.

That may sound like a terribly simple solution to a huge problem, but it was exactly what we needed.

How to Recommit to Your Marriage

Here are a few ways we’ve been intentional about spending time together to recommit to our marriage:

Find a mutual hobby – After years of doing things separately or begrudgingly doing things together, we began to pick out activities that could be enjoyed together. Since we really did very little to begin with, we had a difficult time finding common ground.

So we took turns doing things the other enjoyed – with a good attitude – and were pleasantly surprised with how fun it was. Who knew that beer brewing could be so interesting?

Date often – We have four small children, so dating is a challenge unless we make it a priority. Taking turns planning our monthly outing has been a fun way to get in a number of different activities like hiking, snowshoeing, brewery touring or going to the symphony. It is a huge contrast to bickering in the car over what we do and then just ending up at the same old restaurant.

In addition to going out once a month, we also shoot for a mini-date once a week after the kids have gone to bed (we put them down early for “their” own good). Then we watch a movie we’ve both agreed on, play a game, snuggle and read or wash and rub each other’s feet. It’s simple and we love it.

Date intentionally – It’s easy to go out, sit in a dark movie theater, eat dinner with little talking and drive home in silence. I know because we used to do that.

That’s a no-no now and if we do see a movie, we go to our favorite pub that has a cheap movie theater where we can eat dinner at the same time while snuggled up on a cozy couch. It’s not uncommon for us to whisper smart remarks and delight in watching each other giggle at the movie. Ok, I’m the only one who giggles, but my husband tells me he loves to watch me do that. The point is that dating is now a way to have fun together and talk, and not just about the latest crazy things our kids did.

Does your marriage have to be on the brink of disaster to make an effort to enjoy each other more? No, definitely not. Any marriage will benefit from intentionally seeking out ways to have more fun together.

Don’t stress about planning the most awesome date the two of you have ever been on. Keep it simple. Have fun. And, most importantly, make the time to delight in your spouse.

(photo source)

Nina Nelson writes at Shalom Mama about building relationships, holistic health and mindful living. When she’s not chasing her four kids or hanging out with her husband, you can find her reading or drawing plans for the straw bale house they’ll have someday.

___________________________________________________

Thank you for being a subscriber!

Check out the original post and leave a comment on the blog here: Relationship 911: The First Step That Resuscitated My Marriage

Technorati Tags: Communication, Date Night, Guest Post, Memories, Romance, Time Management