The “In Sickness” Part of Marriage Really Sucks

In Sickness and In Health.

If you’re married, there’s a good chance that you said these words (or something very similar) on your wedding day.  I know that I did, and I’ve grown to realize that this is one of the most important and most difficult commitments we make when we enter into the covenant of marriage.

I’ve witnessed the “in sickness” part of marriage numerous times in the past few years with terminally ill older family members.  Each time that I have shared in weeks of pain and suffering by those experiencing the “sickness,” I have been left in total admiration of those that remained at the bedside in a remarkable demonstration of support, perseverance and faith.

These experiences have literally changed me and my appreciation for marriage.

The Sickness Hits Even Closer to Home

Unfortunately, I’ve really been faced with this bitter-sweet reality lately.  Even though over 18 months have elapsed since his open heart surgery, my Dad has simply never recovered.  He’s a lot older than my Mom, and he’s led a very hard life. The past two weeks have seen a progressive weakening of his heart and his abilities.  



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Are You a Marriage Builder?

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Lori Lowe at Life Gems.  I am excited to bring it to you, as this is a subject that is near and dear to the hearts of my wife and I.

The Association of Marriage and Family Ministries (AMFM) serves churches of all denominations across the country by training, equipping and encouraging church leaders to build and repair marriages and families. I spoke with co-founder Eric Garcia recently, and he provided strong insights into how and why faithful people can be supporting and building marriages.

“We believe at the heartbeat of the transformation of faith is the marriage and family,” says Garcia. “If we are going to be successful in bringing people to Christ, we better be able to keep our own homes intact. How can you proclaim an eternal message of faith, but yet that faith is not strong enough to keep you connected in your own home? We can’t expect kids to want to marry today without modeling successful families.”

Garcia says the Church should influence the culture, and not the other way around, which is so prevalent today.  



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Don’t Take the Little Things in Life for Granted

Do you ever take the time to reflect on all of the blessings in your life?

I think many of us would say that we probably do, at least from time-to-time.  Whenever I think about my own blessings and even take the opportunity to thank God for them through prayer, my focus is pretty predictable.

I have been blessed with a strong faith, an incredible wife, great kids, good health, a productive career, close friends and a fulfilling ministry of sorts here at Engaged Marriage.

These are all very important and valuable blessings, and I certainly have much to be thankful for.  However, only recently did I realize that the items on this list have something in common: it’s the Big Stuff of life.

What About the Little Things?

I have often observed that kids really enjoy and appreciate the little things in life.  After his nightly prayers, my son will often add-on something he wants to thank God for giving him.  A few evenings back he said, “And thank you for Daddy hitting me in the head with a stuffed animal when I was hiding under my covers.”  He has actually thanked God for that moment numerous times since then.  He hasn’t lost his appreciation of the little things.  



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How Marriage Helped Make Me a Christian

It has been a very busy and fulfilling last few weeks for my wife Bethany and I.  After many late nights of preparation, we were blessed with the opportunity to be a presenting couple at a marriage retreat last weekend.  As we presented our material and discussed it with some of the couples making the retreat, I realized that some of our words should be shared here at Engaged Marriage as well.

I chose this retreat topic as the first of several that I’ll share here because it gives some insight into why I care so darn much about marriage.  In a very real way, it was the love I witnessed in Marriage that fueled my call to become a Christian and join the Catholic Church in my college years.

And now, as I look back, it is clear that this was the start of a powerful call that God has put on my life to help others achieve something very special in their own relationships.

Not Such a Fan of Marriage in My Early Years

I am truly grateful for the positive impact that the Church has had on my life and our marriage.  And this is really saying something coming from me and my past.  To say that I was not raised with any religious background would be quite an understatement!  



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You Need Alone Time: Jesus Said So!

Attention to the secular and/or non-Christians among us: This post starts with some Jesus-stuff and even quotes the Bible.  However, the message goes beyond that, so I encourage you to stick with us on this one.

I had the pleasure of attending a Church Mission night last week, and it was truly inspiring in many ways.  A particular highlight was the reading of the Gospel and our priest’s personal take on its meaning in his life.

It turns out that Jesus not only gave us examples of how to be a united community and to love our families.  He also showed us why we all need some alone time to truly serve our spouses, our children and our community in the best way possible.

And when he had taken leave of them, he went off to the mountain to pray.

When it was evening, the boat was far out on the sea and he was alone on shore.

Then he saw that they were tossed about while rowing, for the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them walking on the sea.

Mark 6:46-48 NAB  



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