Money, Marriage and Your Proverbial Ankles

I’m SO excited to welcome Jesse Mecham, founder of my favorite budget software You Need A Budget, as our guest today.  You can read my review of YNAB to find out why I love the program so much.

And when my new book 15 Minute Marriage Makeover comes out (next week!), you’ll see in the finances section just how much we think alike when it comes to marriage and money.  Jesse knows his stuff!

You’re at the starting line of a three-legged race. Your spouse is your partner. You’ve already secured the tie around your ankles, you see the distant finish line, and you’re determined to haul buns.

You keep looking at each other and smiling, but you haven’t discussed any strategy. Oh come on, how hard can it be, right?

On your mark….

 

Get set…..

 

GO!!!……

 

You muster all your strength and throw yourself forward, but you move your inside leg first and your spouse is trying to move the outside leg. In less than two, awkward steps, both of you crumble to the ground in a heap.  



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Getting Free: Marriage Advice from Eddie Vedder?

Bethany and I have never shied away from being a bit counter-cultural.

After all, we practice Natural Family Planning, live debt-free other than our modest mortgage, value sex for more than the pleasure it brings…and I write in support of an institution that seems to be viewed with skepticism by our society more and more every day.

Well, I have to say that the past few months have been filled with introspection, tough decisions and honest conversations that scared the hell out of us at times.  Despite the nervousness that comes with change, even when we knew it was the right thing to do, we have embarked upon some major changes in our careers and lifestyle that don’t fit what many have come to value as the mark of success in our culture.

In short, we were faced with a crossroads in our marriage, and we chose the path less traveled:  



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• I left a job I had really enjoyed for the past 10 years to pursue something new and challenging.
• Bethany submitted her resignation as a special education teacher to become a stay-at-home Mom to our three little loves effective at Christmas break.

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Married Money Management Step 8: Pay Off Your House!

How would it feel to own your house?

Not owning in the sense that we’re all familiar with where we remain beholden to the bank that actually holds the deed to our property, but really owning it for ourselves. Since the New Deal, and especially since our veterans returned home after WWII, the long-term home mortgage has become a mainstay of American culture.

In fact, it’s now really difficult to imagine life without a house payment.  But I’d like you to try.

Life Without Payments

If you’re following the Married Money Management steps, then you’ve already paid off all of your non-mortgage debts.  Assuming you’re not a lifetime renter or a squatter, that leaves your home mortgage as your last debt. Let’s think a bit about the implications of paying it off and living a life with NO payments.

For most of us, our mortgage payment is our single largest monthly expense.  Keep in mind that paying off your mortgage will not eliminate your real estate taxes or insurance, which likely make up a big portion of your current monthly outlay if you escrow those expenses.  However, we are still talking about a large chunk of your disposable income that you currently send away to the bank each month.  



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Married Money Management Step 7: Invest for College (But Only If You Want to)

If you have children, this is the step in your financial journey where I’d recommend you start putting away money to pay for their college education.  That is, of course, if you actually want to save money for this purpose.

Before we get into any details on this step, I think it’s important for all of you parents out there to ask yourself a tough question:

Do we really want to save for our children’s college education?

If the answer is yes, then that’s great and you can move on with the rest of this lesson.

However, I want you to know that despite all of the pressure you may feel from society and perhaps your parenting peers, you do NOT have to save for your kids’ college expenses.  There is no parenting law that says your kids must get a Degree in Finance on your dime.

While I think it’s a cool thing to do if you are able and desire it, I think too many people assume that college savings is a firm responsibility of all parents, sometimes to the point of stupidity (more on that below).  Personally, I had absolutely no help from my parents in this area, but I was able to get great undergraduate and Master’s degrees in engineering with no student loan debt.  



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Married Money Management Step 6: Invest and Have Some Fun!

At this point in your financial journey, you’ve already made a budget, taken a financial inventory and calculated your net worth, paid off all of your (damn) non-mortgage debts and saved a sizable emergency fund.  I’d be willing to bet that this puts you in the top 5% of Americans with regards to our financial well-being.

Well done!

And now, it’s time to start enjoying the fruits of your labors a bit more while also kicking in your retirement investing.

The Fun Part…and Saving Up for Some Big Stuff

Once you’ve cleaned up your money messes and put away cash to weather rainy days, you’re financially ready to start having a bit of fun and saving for short-term needs.  In most cases, families have taken years to get through the first five steps and reach this point of relative stability.

It’s okay to breathe a little and reward yourself (within reason of course).  If you’ve delayed a family vacation or a new piece of furniture, now is the time to make those purchases.  Remember though, NO MORE DEBT, so these items need to be paid for with cash from your “extra” monthly income that is no longer going toward funding your emergency fund.  



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