How to Get Your Spouse to Talk to You: 7 Tips for Engagement

Do you sometimes have trouble getting your spouse to talk to you?  Or really listen to what you have to say?

Frankly, I was surprised by the number of readers who typed in this concern as part of my recent Two-Question Marriage Survey.   If you haven’t taken that survey, I’d love it if you took a minute (literally) and provided your input.  The results have been so helpful in understanding your needs, and I’m excited to announce a new resource to help address Big Issue Number One in the next week or so (stay tuned so you don’t miss it).

Even though it wasn’t a top response, the sheer importance of this topic compelled me write a post addressing it to the best of my abilities.  Obviously, I don’t know the specific circumstances surrounding each situation, but I hope I can provide some helpful tips for establishing healthy two-way communication in your marriage.  After all, I think we can all improve in this all-important area!

7 Tips to Get Your Spouse Engaged

1. Be the Spouse You Desire  



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What’s the Secret to a Happy Marriage?

Editor’s note: This is a guest post on conflict resolution from Stephanie Baffone.  I love the perspective that she brings as a trained professional therapist, talented writer and Aunt to 38!

First, let me say a big THANK YOU to Dustin for the opportunity to guest post here at Engaged Marriage! It’s a thrill to be a part of such a valuable blog and share some wisdom on effective conflict resolution, a topic near and dear to my heart. Thank you, Dustin!

For my husband and high school sweetheart, this past Valentine’s Day marked twenty-five years since our first date, and in August we will celebrate twenty years together passionately married.

Sometimes when we tell people we’ve been together for so long-and happy-we get looks like we are creatures from another planet.  Once people process our success, the next question we get asked is, “So, what’s the secret to a happy marriage?”

Classified Information

My husband and I don’t possess some highly guarded classified information, but if there is one thing I could point to that has contributed significantly to our harmonious existence, it would be that we learned early in our marriage how to resolve conflict effectively.  



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Be Proactive: A Marriage Lesson From a Fat Smoker

Proactive.  Marriage.

Do you ever use those two words together in a sentence or in your thoughts?  I actually do, but I also often find myself trying to come up with more effective ways to express just what Engaged Marriage is all about.

I would expect that you don’t face this same issue, so you probably haven’t had a good reason to talk about a “proactive marriage.”  That’s cool.  The words aren’t important.

However, if you do not practice a proactive marriage, I sincerely think you are missing out on an incredible opportunity for improving your quality of life.  And more than that, you are quite possibly setting your relationship up for problems over time.

Don’t Take My Word For It

If you have been a reader here for a while, you know that I am a big fan of Seth Godin.  You may have also read some of my thoughts on a book called “The Big Moo,” which represents the collective writings of 33 of the best business writers (and thinkers) on Earth. Mr. Godin brought this “Group of 33″ together and edited this awesome compilation.  



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Did Tiger Woods Simply Have a Car Accident? I Sure Hope So.

When I started seeing “Tiger Woods car accident” flying around on Twitter yesterday afternoon, I was immediately concerned.  I am a big fan of Tiger on the golf course, so I would hate to see anything happen that could derail his seemingly inevitable path toward capturing all of the important records in golf. My focus online is typically marriage related resources and news stories, but this was a favorite sports icon and it legitimately concerned me.

Those thoughts were fleeting, though, as I remembered that Tiger Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren have two small children.  I was particularly concerned when I read initial reports that Tiger had wrecked his 2009 Cadillac Escalade, and the results were serious injuries.  This news story was very concerning to me.

Wait a Minute, Where & When Did the Car Crash Occur?

As the news reports started to materialize, it became clear that this was no mid-afternoon freeway crash.  Instead, Tiger Woods had wrecked his SUV in his neighbor’s driveway.  Strange by itself, but when accompanied by the fact that this occurred at 2:25 a.m. and it was a single vehicle crashing into a fire hydrant and tree, the story was taking a turn for the strange.  



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What is Your Dream Marriage?

Have you given much thought to just what your Dream Marriage would look like?

When my wife and I recently attended a marriage retreat, which was fantastic by the way, one of the first things we were asked to do was separate from each other for around 15 minutes.  During this time, we were told to write down in our own words specifically what we (as individuals) would have for a marriage if we could snap our fingers and make our wishes come true.

He-Said vs. She-Said

In our case, my wife and I took completely different approaches in our descriptions.  In her typical style, she wrote several (small) pages of emotional thoughts about how we would interact and spend our time together during a given day. My wife gave some great specific examples of things we should do more often, such as relaxing together, praying together and openly communicating on a regular basis.

Not so much for Mr. Planner here.  My “dream” was broken out over a typical week, and I had days for couple-only time, days for full-family time and a day in there for some “me” time as well.  I provided a schedule of what we could be doing throughout the day in dreamland.  



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