Everyone, at times, has disagreements.
How boring would life be if everyone agreed all of the time? However, if you handle those disagreements the wrong way, it could mean disaster.
This is particularly true when you are arguing with your spouse.
You spend most non-working moments with this one person, this wonderful, loving, infuriating person. Your emotions will naturally run high while discussing the things you care most about with the person you care most about. Arguments are not only natural, but inevitable.
How do you have an argument with someone you love without lasting resentment?
As strange as it may sound, you have to argue fairly.
There are a few principles to remember during an argument with your husband or wife:
You are listening, nothing else. If you don’t listen, you can’t understand. If you don’t understand, you can’t find a resolution.
Keeping this in mind will change the entire tone of the argument into a positive interaction. You will still disagree, but you will be looking for a solution together, instead of finding a “win” at any cost.
Without understanding, there can be no path to resolution that doesn’t cause resentment. If you have too much resentment, you won’t have a marriage.
After all of this, it will finally be your turn to make your point. Hopefully, your partner will be following the same rules so you can solve your problems together, without learning to hate each other.
Arguments in your marriage aren’t – or shouldn’t be – intended to draw blood.
Fights happen. However, if your goal is to win at any cost, you will both lose, possibly everything.
Choose to argue fairly with your spouse and put your marriage ahead of your desire to “win.”
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.