We all know that spending time with your spouse is important.
In fact, along with communication, spending time together is one of the most consistent indicators of a happy marriage.
Happy couples know this and they do it…consistently.
With kids, jobs, appointments, soccer practice and more, time flies by…
And spending time with our spouse seems to fall way, way down the list.
Sometimes we don’t even realize how far down.
If this sounds like you, then let me give you the cold, hard truth.
The fact is, we all have the same number of hours in a day. It’s what we do with our time that makes the difference in the quality of our life including our marriage.
For couples, it’s the quality of the time spent together that makes all the difference.
So what is this thing called quality time?
Quality time is giving your partner your full and undivided attention. It’s being together and focusing on the experience of being together as opposed to just logging time.
Simply put, couples engaging in quality time are intentionally doing something together for the sake of enjoying each other’s company. They enjoy doing things, no matter how small, with each other.
They make time for each other.
If you’re scratching your head wondering if you’re spending quality time with your spouse or just spending time, take a look at how happy couples create quality time.
If you are all about the QT, great! Keep doing what you’re doing!
If you’re not, then here are five ways you can start getting that QT in right now…
Whether you’re watching a movie, walking in the park or just having dinner, get close.
Sit close to each other, make eye contact, hold hands, kiss.
Being physically close promotes feelings of emotional closeness, security and a sense of being cared for. And it’s just kind of fun!
When was the last time you had a real date with your spouse?
Not sure? Then it’s been too long.
If you’re missing those special times, it’s a sure bet your spouse is too.
Work and family can make doing things as a couple hard. You have to plan and prioritize.
It sounds so unsexy but the act of planning some adult time can be very provocative.
Get a babysitter. Have regular date nights.
Take a vacation day and spend it together. Take a weekend getaway. Your sex life will thank you!
Who knew working out could be good for your marriage?
Doing enjoyable things together enhances emotional closeness.
Find a sport or activity that you can enjoy together. It might be playing tennis, shooting hoops or running. Even walking together can be fun and a great way to just enjoy each other’s company.
And here’s a bonus: exercise has been found to enhance your sex life too 😉
Instead of running errands while you’re waiting to pick the kids up from soccer practice, why not plan a secret rendezvous with your love?
Leave sweet notes prior to the day. Send a cute text.
The unexpected time together sends the message that “You are important to me and I want to spend time with you.”
Your meeting might be simply getting coffee between appointments or you might sneak away for a whole afternoon.
It’s not the amount of time but the act of making time that makes the difference.
When it comes to couples, there’s talking and then there’s talking…the real deal, face-to-face, from the heart talking, that feeds the soul of the relationship.
Talking sounds easy but it can be hard with kids, jobs and a million distractions.
Set aside some time each day to talk to each other uninterrupted…no TV, no phones, no kids.
Talk about your day. Talk about what’s on your mind. If all is good, talk about that and express your gratitude.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. Spend some quiet time together before dinner or after the kids go to bed.
The laundry or that text from the office can wait 15 minutes.
Don’t miss our Get More Quality Time Workshop where you’ll learn how to take control of your time and how you want to spend it.
Remember, we all have the same number of hours in the day. You plan and schedule.
Why shouldn’t the most important person in your life, the one you’re building a life with, be at the top of the list?
If you want to be a happy couple, you have to do what happy couples do.
Dustin Riechmann created Engaged Marriage to help other married couples live a life they love (especially) when they feel too busy to make it happen. He has many passions, including sharing ways to enjoy an awesome marriage in 15 minutes a day, but his heart belongs with his wife Bethany and their three young kids.